In our professional lives we are going to have to call in a favor or two. Over years of building connections and relationships, the more opportunity you have to have people to reach out to. But there is a decorum to the whole thing.
I rarely call in favors. I am of the camp that believes my hard work, reputation, and respect for others is what should carry me throughout this world. However, I also recognize that it’s who you know a lot of the time. Pretty much most of the time.
And still, I won’t call in a favor unless the person meets the criteria I deem necessary to utilize the connection. They have to be someone I have more than a passing relationship with, they have to have the opportunity to know either my ethics or my work product, and I can’t have asked them for a favor in recent.
Basically, be cool. Don’t overstep your bounds, and have respect for others. Everyone is busy, everyone needs something, and if you’re like me, you’re not willing to put your name behind just anyone who asks.
Ive worked in roles and for companies that are pretty cool. With that comes people who want in on the action. I understand and have respect for the fact that I’ve gotten advice and help along the way and always try to offer help where I can. However, if you don’t respect my efforts, I am very quick to terminate that effort for good.
For example: LinkedIn is a really awesome networking tool. It’s a great way to stay on top of connections and the journeys they are on.
I often get messages from people looking for me to connect them to someone, pass their resume through to a recruiter, or advice in a certain industry. And that’s a really good use of LinkedIn - if you do so respectfully and appropriately.
I get a fair amount of those messages, and I’m a nobody when it comes down to it. But I try to take the time to respond to the honest messages because it’s polite to do so. If you’ve asked me a favor, and I’m not comfortable filling it, you owe me a response to say I appreciate you being respectful and I understand. If you ignore the time I took to respond to your innaprorpiate request, especially if I’ve offered to assist later down the road, you have lost the opportunity to have my help. If you continuously send me messages, assume I’m going to just “get you a job” - I won’t be helping you.
The point I’m hoping you’re picking up is that if you go into a relationship or request purely to get what you want, that’s not going to bring you success. It’s something people carry. You’ve got to provide a level of give to the take if you expect to maintain a long lasting connection. Be a genuinely curious person who wants to learn.
Utilize your contacts because often times that truly is your only in. But be aware of the take and be sure to give back. Even if you don’t think you have anything to offer, you can offer kindness and appreciation. You can give back to those coming up behind you.
Additionally, sometimes we only have an “in” with someone we may not have talked to in a long time, know very well, etc etc. It’s ok to reach out to that person but be honest with yourself and that person about what you’re asking and what you’re looking to get as a result. If I’m reaching out to someone who fits this description, I will often explain that I’m very interested in a role I know I’m qualified for but don’t have an in. While it may be innapropriate to ask for them to throw my name in the ring, it may be appropriate to say do you have any advice for how to get my resume noticed or someone I could talk to that may be able to give advice. Be realistic. Be respectful.
Look everyone is trying to get somewhere. And we all need someone to help us. Whether we like it or not, we are going to have to make an ask at some point. If you want that ask to be successful, make sure to at bare minimum think about how you would feel if the same ask came to you.