The older I get, the more I find that most of the negative things people say about me out loud — are the insecurities they’re saying to themselves inside.
It took me a very long time to find confidence. I grew up with an intense need to succeed. To be perfect. To work until I was the best. That has continued well into my adulthood. It’s consumed me a lot longer than I like to admit.
At 34, I am thankfully in a place that I am confident more days than I am not. I love myself more than I dislike myself. I find more good in who I am than more faults.
And that is why I find it much easier than I used to brush off negative feedback from others. I also find a little compassion helps my mental health when others choose to go low.
The truth is, not everyone loves themselves. Because of that, they often want others to feel the same pain they do. Misery loves company.
I am not traditional in any sense of the word. I am not beautiful by industry standards. I have not followed the career path you’re supposed to. I’m not a quiet well behaved woman. I love those things about me. I am infinitely confident in who I am and the life I’ve created. I know what it took to get where I am at, to love all of the things that make me unconventional.
That makes me an easy target for people who do not love themselves. More often than you’d believe, people love to share their opinions about me. From how I look to what I say to how I’ve gone on my career journey. And that used to drive me insane.
I would allow it to stress me out, make me angry, and it was hard for me to move past. At times I’d say I even allowed me to go onto a deep depression depending on who the feedback came from.
Now, I remind myself that what others have to say has very little to do with me and a whole lot more to do with them.
Life is hard for everyone. It’s certainly unique to everyone. No two stories are the same. Minding your own business and remembering that others failure to do the same, that’s just none of your own business. The negative things that others have to say about you. They are a reflection of the ugly they feel about themselves. And quite frankly, if you project that ugly on others — while I have compassion for you, I will not allow you to continue to throw that ugly at me.
I shine really really bright. Too bright for some people in fact.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, what others think of you — that’s truly none of your business.