For some reason, I have always been the woman who men love to play games with. Men love to slip into my DM’s, drunk text me, confess their love and then never make a move, hit me up when they’re in a relationship — the list goes on.
Im not sure what about me says I’m down for those games, but nothing is more unattractive than a man who is all talk. And there is absolutely nothing less attractive than a man who is seeing another woman and tells me how gorgeous I am or wants to rehash feelings.
I know, poor me — men find me attractive. Or maybe you think this is a post that makes me look really arrogant. Either way, that really has nothing to do with me.
This one is about knowing your worth. We all love attention. We like to feel attractive. We like to be pursued. But there is a huge difference between attention and value. Just because someone calls you attractive, doesn’t mean they’re worthy of your attention.
Also — sincerely you’re gorgeous to some and hideous to others. That’s why we are all different.
When I was younger I lived for the attention. I loved walking into a room and commanding attention. I felt a lot of my worth was wrapped up in male attention. Some of that comes from trauma. Being reduced to having consent taken from you, it makes you feel like your body and your looks are the only value you have.
I still have those insecurities when it comes to male attention. But I also have the confidence in myself to know my worth. I am an attractive woman. And I won’t qualify that nor pretend I’m supposed to sit here and think I’m not. I am also accomplished, intelligent, strong, funny as hell, and about a million other things that have nothing to do with my looks.
My worth is more than the box men like to put me in.
For awhile I used to think maybe I’m intimidating, maybe I’m too much, maybe I come off as someone who’s ok with being a side piece - and now? Now I don’t give a shit about any of those things. Again, they have nothing to do with me and everything to do with the person thinking them.
Ill be honest, I have done a lot of dating. A lot of years that I was always in a relationship, dating, or talking to someone (or multiple people, shoutout to early 20’s Ashley who had a harem of men) - and that was cool. I’m grown though and I truly enjoy being single. I don’t feel that pressure to find my “forever.” If he’s out there and we meet, I’m here for it. But I’m not spending my time making it my priority. And I’m sure as hell not settling for whatever TF is coming to the table right now. Send that shit back and give me a refund.
These aren’t bad guys - Id like to make that clear. I think a lot of it is the place we are in right now in society. It’s all very lots of options and what’s next and I think the lines are blurred. Some of these men who I’m referring to are sincerely some of the best men I know. They’re men I will always be here for. I value their friendship. Yet I admit - I’m disappointed in how they’re choosing to show me my value to them.
I’m not sure what the lesson is here. Sometimes a girl just needs to vent. At times I like to know there are others out there who get what I’m saying.
I’m a tough chick. And I’m not ideal at emotions at times. I’m also a human being. I get my feelings hurt and I have moments of self doubt. But if life has taught me anything it’s that I can count on myself and I am one incredible woman. I have a lot to offer as a partner. That’s not something I’ll ever compromise on. My worth matters. And it has nothing to do with anyone but me.