Quarantine + therapy + endless time to reflect = I’ve come to my 3,000th realization since March. I have realized my gut instinct is broken.
You know how you get that gut feeling and you’re supposed to follow it and trust it and let it be your source of truth? Mines broken. I get more like 3-5 instincts that my brain then must digest and then my anxiety throws in a what if and we are back at zero with no solution.
How did I get here? I’ll tell ya! From years of not living my authentic truth. From not confronting traumas. From not dealing with anxiety. From not allowing myself to feel anything. That’s how I lost my gut instinct.
I can’t for the life of me remember when I trusted my gut. Or when I had that visceral reaction that told me what I need to do in any given situation. I know it’s there. Hiding somewhere.
But I’m a grown woman. I need that gut instinct back. I need it to get me through life and in order to get it back, I need to get ME back!
I just read a book by a wonderful woman named Glennon Doyle. It’s called Untamed and it’s amazing. it’s about unlearning all the things women are taught to be. About dealing with traumas and finding your knowing so that you can be YOU! Happy, free and your very best you!
Glennon calls your gut your knowing. Its the you that deep down knows what you should be doing, saying, feeling and committing your time and energy to.
As I’ve spent the years getting my me back and developing unapologetically into the wonderful sparkle woman I was meant to be, I am seeing that the next step is to use that confidence for good.
I am finally actively acknowledging my power and the amazing human being that I am. I’m not apologizing for being energetic and loud and positive and opinionated. Because I am a good woman. And I don’t owe an explanation to anyone. I am me and that is my superpower.
So I lost my gut. My knowing. And now I’m going to get her back. And as we go through this pandemic and uncertain times, I’m going to let her guide me to all the dreams and future goals I always wanted. The future is bright and I can feel THAT in my gut.