Regular

I’m a regular looking woman. All of my features are stock and came with the body I’m currently in. The older I get, the more I prefer to keep it that way.

On most social media feeds, I see a lot of flawless, gorgeous women who lead really glamorous looking lives. They’ve got perfect skin, hair, lips, curves and on top of that they're acting like all of that just came effortlessly. It’s a carefully curated show that is often unattainable for a lot of women.

I hear a lot of women comparing themselves to what they see on Instagram. Or to the Kardahsian’s or Real Housewives or whatever new TV show is featuring women who refuse to age or are in fact 22 and supposed to look that way.

There’s about a thousand tutorials on everything from baking your makeup to contouring your legs. Products made to make our lips bigger and our waists smaller. New fillers and sculpting and 15 minute workouts and low fat recipes everywhere.

It’s unhealthy.

I also quite frankly find this look boring and played out.

I’m not saying it’s all bad. If that’s the look you crave, do you, you’re doing the right thing for you. What is bad is the constant feeling that you need to look a certain way. If you’re doing anything to look some type of way because it pleases others, that’s a problem. If how you look controls your entire world, that’s a problem.

I’ll be honest, I have considered getting Botox or other procedures and sometimes I still do. Yet the more I see the way women are spending money, time, energy and peace to look perfect, the more I’m ok being regular.

I’m probably not going to age as well as some of the women that are having work done. I’m going to look older sooner. I’m at peace with that. That may change, but right now, I’m fine with it.

I don’t like the overdone look. That overly plastic and perfectly unlined flawless image is just not for me.

I’m not saying let’s shame women who choose to look that way. I’m just saying let’s normalize women being regular too. Normalize women who just age and stick with the hair and nails as their maintenance. And not because its “brave.” Because it’s actually damn attractive to just love how you were made and look like the unique person you were born as.

Whatever works for you is great. Just made sure you’re doing these things for you. And only you.

I Changed My Mind

I’ve openly spoken about getting Botox, injections and even plastic surgery someday. Sooner rather than later. Recently, I’ve changed my mind.

I have not changed my mind about being open to it and accepting about it for others (because first and foremost, what others do with their bodies is not my business) but I have changed my mind about it being for me.

I’m 33. I have always thankfully had really good skin and looked younger than my age. However, I am getting to my mid 30’s and I do have things like forehead wrinkles, laugh lines, and sun spots. I cannot be mistaken for 22 anymore. Let’s get honest - I can’t be mistaken for 25 anymore, maybe even 28. I probably look a solid 30.

Are there times when I compare my aging to how my friends are aging? Absolutely. I’m a woman in a world that tells us aging must be stopped at all costs. But the more I see the work that is getting done around me, the more I want to just age gracefully.

I’m using lotions and serums and sunscreens and I wash my face and do all the standard regimented things we are taught - but I think that’s going to be it for me.

I say all of this and I very well could change my mind in six months or six years. And that’s OK too.

So what’s changed? A lot. I consider the cost of what I see some people spending to maintain and I would rather spend the money of other things. I would rather spend it on travel and events and dinners than I would on stopping aging.

I also know that self love has been a constant journey for me. How I look obviously matters to me, but I value loving me for who I am and all that entails - wrinkles and all. For me loving who I am does equal embracing the aging process.

Here’s the thing: a lot of my friends, significantly more and more lately - are relying on injections and surgeries and they look fly as all hell. And it works for them. They want to spend their money, time, and energy on those things, and I am not against that. In fact, I’m very for it because it’s important to them and that’s what matters.

Doing what is best for you, that matters.

I may look older, more weathered than some of my friends. Sincerely, one of my girlfriends never ages and she looks absolutely incredible. Partially because naturally, she’s healthy and takes good care of herself (and good genes), partially because she does get injections. Either way, it’s working, she’s a bombshell and always will be. But I don’t know if I’d look like me if I got those things done. Maybe I’d be a better version. Maybe I’d look like I had work done. Maybe I’m overthinking it.

Whatever it may be - I’m not willing to go there right now.

I like learning to love the things that make me who I am. Wrinkles, scars, lines, spots and all. I feel my best when I’m makeup free and authentic. Just as much as we should support the women who choose to age with a little help, I think we need to support the women who choose to just age however that ends up.

The point is, the beauty industry is always made to show women what we need to be our best selves. Taking advantage of that is not wrong and choosing not to is not wrong. Take pride in knowing what you value, what makes you feel your best, and committing to the journey knowing it can change as well.

Society loves to tell women a lot about who we should be, how we should look - society absolutely places more rules around how to exist as a woman and changing my mind, is my way of saying you know what? I’m going to do whatever I damn well please. And I won’t apologize for any of it.

Everyone I know is getting work done.

As a follow up to my blog titled "All my friends are getting Botox," I've recently discovered all my friends are getting work done. And it's a whole new world of fun I never knew existed. From implants to lip injections to eyelash perms - there are so many new beauty procedures I simply knew nothing about!

I'm a no judgment zone when it comes to getting work done. Whether it's a weekly spray tan or full blown overhaul, if it makes you happy, you do you. Sincerely we all need to judge less and support more. If a tummy tuck makes someone feel fabulous, high five them, give them a "You go" and move on. Your body, your decision.

I just had no idea of all the options out there. Between microdermabrasian, cool sculpting, eyelash extensions, Botox - and a million other procedures coming up everyday - I have no idea what anything is. I'm a research girl. I need facts and stats and detailed descriptions of what's happening, what to expect, and what the outcome will be. That's the single biggest reason why I haven't had anything done outside of spray tans and face masks. 

Now this may be unpopular in 2018, but I kind of like my wrinkles. I've got visible forehead lines, laugh lines, and scars galore. I could probably benefit from a little work. But I sort of like the character those things give me. My scars remind me of adventures and surviving great struggle. So for now, I'm still not ready for anything but a good facial. 

One day the time may come that I no longer appreciate the wrinkles and lines. I may grow tired of the scars I can't hide. And if/when that happens, I'll be doing my research and getting all the work done.

What work are you getting done sequins? Let's talk about it. Be open. It helps educate others and removes the stigma that getting work done is shameful. Humans are beautiful in all forms. Whether its natural, crafted or faked. As long as you're doing it for you, you're doing it right.