I don't have any children. I'm not even very good at taking care of myself half the time. In fact, I lit my apartment on fire earlier this year and wound up standing in the middle of the street, in the middle of Los Angeles, in my underwear. Moving on - regardless of whether or not I have child rearing experience - I've got opinions. And I know I'm usually pretty shy - but I figured I should share those opinions. Because you know what? If your kid is a tiny little asshole - it is my business.
My parents raised me with one guiding rule in mind. Don't be a jerk. Sure, I was taught to focus on education, how to take care of my things, work hard, amongst a million other things - but the main focus in life has always been to be a good person. Treat people with respect, be aware of those around me, and always lead with kindness. Seems pretty simple. Then why do I see so many kids today ignoring basic manners, speaking very out of turn, and in general acting like entitled little jerks.
To this day if I question my mom in public, forget to hold a door open for someone, or am oblivious to those around me - I fear for my life. I'm 30 and my mom will still come at me with the death glare. You know what I'm talking about - the "I raised you better so you best try again" look. Deadly. Effective. I'm unclear if this look magically comes to you when you give birth but it's simply unattainable by any other human being. I actually think we could skip war if we just sent moms to Iraq to stare at terrorists.
Back to my original point. I get it - we are in the age of free spirits and whimsical expression - but you need to do that on your own time, in the comfort of your own dome made of mud and leaves. When your children are in public - they're part of a larger community that doesn't revolve around them. Their freedom to act out stops the minute you step outside your door.
I ask you - teach your children the number one rule: Dont. Be. A. Jerk. Teach them they can be independent little hippie children but that they must first understand they're a very small part of a larger ecosystem. And in that ecosystem - we need to respect each other, lead with kindness, and quite frankly - mind our old fashioned manners. Let's get specific about our manners:
- Open doors. If there is someone coming out of a door or is behind you about to enter a location - hold the door open.
- Say excuse me. if someone is in your way, if you need to move past, whatever the case - say excuse me POLITELY as you make your way past.
- Calm the F down. If your child is screaming, running around, throwing things, being disruptive in any way in the wrong setting - calm them down or leave. They don't have the right to disrupt everyone. Know the setting. Teach them awareness.
- Please and thank you. Your kids need to speak to others with respect. Please and thank you go a really long way and need to be taught at a young age.
That's it. I'm starting with four easy manners. Of course there are more - but these are so important and not often taught as children grow up and venture into society.
To those of you out there who I know are raising confident, respectful, and kind little nuggets - thank you for valuing what it means to reproduce in this world. Kids aren't just part of life stages - they're our future - make sure you're teaching our future to be kind.