I'm generally scared of everything. Flying, spiders, mascots, large crowds, band aids, truly, everything.
And then I'll swim with sharks. I'll get tattoos. I'll eat bugs. I'll move across the country to a state where I don't know anyone.
Realistically, we all have these insane fears that truly amount to nothing and then we are incredibly brave in situations we should absolutely be terrified in.
I've got a friend who is terrified of needles, and has about five tattoos.
I am terrified of flying, and get on a plane multiple times a month.
We are all a bunch of freaks who have these irrational fears and even more irrational bravery.
What's the point?
The point is - the next time you're afraid of something, and paralyzed by that something, put it in perspective. Re-associate your fears with something positive, better yet, remind yourself of the absolutely insanely brave things you have done. Remind yourself of all the times you were really scared, but you did the scary thing anyways.
Find ways to laugh at your fears.
When you acknowledge your fears, spend time thinking about them, you're fueling the fear. If you shift your focus or assign a new feeling to those fears, you change their power. You cut off the source of the fear. Fear cannot thrive if you take away its energy.
And most often, if you are able to manage the fear when it first becomes a fear, you keep it from becoming a crippling life altering presence in your world.
I used to have painfully intense fears of flying. I would build up my anxiety a week before even flying and I would spend countless hours thinking about my fear and future flight. I would reach out to friends to talk about the fear. I fed the shit out of those fears. By the time I got on a plane, I was sweating, shaking, neon red about to pass out afraid of the experience.
Now - I still have anxiety around flying. But I've created tools to combat the fear. I set myself up for success by bringing books, music, journals - literally all the distractions on my flight. I dress comfortably. I make sure I have water and snacks. I bring a neck pillow. I am so prepared that I spend flights actually enjoying my time more than I do in paralyzing fear. And when I catch my mind drifting to the fear, I force myself to turn it around. Does it work all the time? Certainly not. I have moments I'm absolutely crazy about it all. But I fly so much now, I had to find a way to level the playing field.
Trick yourself. Distract yourself. Take away the oxygen that keeps your fears alive. And don't avoid the fears. Face them head on. Say you know what, this is stupid. You don't own me. And then keep on keeping on.
Fears are normal. Even the crazy ones. What's not normal is allowing the fear to control you and prevent you from living your best life. I don't care if it's a realistic fear, if it controls you, it owns you. And life is too damn short to be living a life of fear.