I can never give less than 200% on anything. I’m not a casual do anything type of human. If I’m not jumping all in, I’m out.
Awhile back I spoke about realizing that not everyone is me. I took that to heart. At work I am especially type A and am far above and beyond 110% max effort. It’s not always a good thing as I can absolutely blur the lines of giving too much to the job.
When I wrote about learning to acknowledge that not everyone operates at the same level, I was very much in a state of constant stress and anxiety because I was unable to effectively cope with other people who don’t work hard.
It was physically and mentally taking a toll on my health and I had to stop. So I did. I changed my focus, I set boundaries, and I have chosen to step away from anything that isn’t serving me in a positive way.
The truth is - there are a lot of people who exist in the bare minimum, whether they realize it or not. And that’s ok. If you’re meeting the requirements of your job, the rest is none of my business. Honestly, even if you’re not, that’s also none of my business if I am not your boss.
I inherently want people to step it up because I know they have the ability to be better. So I can easily become frustrated when people, teams, and companies are not meeting the level of excellence possible with effort. That’s exactly what happened.
I’m the one who speaks up. To leadership and to my team to say don’t you want to be the best? Don’t you want to challenge yourself and hold yourself accountable for more? But here is the critical line you have to draw - if people do not want to go there, or if leadership is not pushing everyone to that place - it is not your responsibility to keep pushing.
So I stopped. I stopped speaking up. I started focusing on my own efforts and future goals and I’ve decided to stay in my lane. Where I belong.
I cannot control anyone but myself. Any efforts to deviate from that are only putting me in an unhealthy place. And that’s not worth it. I am an overachiever. I am good at what I do. And my company is lucky to have me. That is what my focus needs to be.
It has taken me a really long time to get this through my head.
Like years and years. Because everywhere you go, that’s how life and work operate. There are those who give it their all, and those who are simply there to get a paycheck. If it’s not your company, if you are not the boss — it is not your responsibility to force anyone to jump up a level. It’s simply not.
I know that some of my colleagues past and present have felt that same frustration. I think we all have a level of complaining that we do to each other in order to cope. And that’s ok. But again, focus on what is healthy. The controllable. Harness your energies for spaces you can affect in a positive way. And forget the rest.
Life in the type A space - like the extreme type A space - it’s frustrating. I think that’s why a lot of former athletes struggle after sports. We don’t know anything but competing to be better. We simply don’t know how to stop holding ourselves and others accountable for that.
But at some point, for your health and others — you’ve got to realize not everyone is you, and that is ok. The team sport becomes an individual race, and you can still push yourself. I hope that you do in fact. Yet remember, becoming the best you, that means learning to harness your energies for good and not becoming a negative influence on yourself or others.