Once again, I would like to talk about the most basic of human decencies. A rule that we are taught from a very young age yet many have a hard time following. Keep your hands to yourself.
Recently I went out to a bar in Dallas. I was on the phone on the patio when a man felt it would be okay to run by, grab my butt and leave. Whether he was drunk or not, it was entirely inappropriate and an incredibly big deal. I reacted in the most furious way and instead of apologizing, this man hid behind a car and giggled about how he just violated me.
You can call it harmless, a drunk immature frat boy acting like a jerk. You can call me a prude, you can say I overreacted. You would be wrong. Excusing this kind of behavior is encouraging it. Refusing to take it seriously is how we've gotten ourselves to a rape culture mentality. It's how some people call Brock Turner "a nice guy who did something stupid." And it's why women are afraid and ashamed to report instances of sexual assault and rape. Because we are told "it's not a big deal." We are made to feel bad for the things that happen to us. And that's how the cycle continues.
I'm tired of excusing anything. Unless you have permission to touch me, don't. Male or female, keep your hands to yourself. It's a basic form of respect and its a lesson we all need to keep in mind.
A trend recently is for bars to create a safe space for women. They put signs in the restroom that give women instructions for how to discreetly and safely ask for help when they're in an uncomfortable situation. As much as its extremely sad we have gotten to this point, I applaud the establishments who choose to create safe enjoyable environments for all. I'm so sick of going to bars and restaurants to enjoy time with friends only to be touched inappropriately or "by accident." And I won't be quiet about it. I will not dumb down my reaction to make YOU comfortable.
Ladies (and gentlemen because you deserve respect too) - don't let anyone touch you without your permission. Do not brush it off. Do not make excuses and do not feel stupid. Nobody has the right to make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. And its up to all of us to speak up and call others out on their behavior. Without that - we will continue to live in a world that accepts rape culture.
I don't owe anyone an explanation for how I react when someone touches me without my consent. It's not funny, it's not harmless, and its not welcome. Call me a bitch, call me dramatic, call me whatever you want - as long a you keep your hands to your damn self.