I'm not the friend you come to when you want some sugar with your honesty. I've never been good at dancing around delicate conversations. If I truly care about you, I'm going to give it to you straight. Because in my mind, honesty is always the best policy when it comes to friendships.
That got me to thinking - how do you prefer your friendships? With a little bit of cream and sugar or straight up with a twist?
I'm straight up, with a twist and an extra shot of 151 in the straw. While I'm sensitive to the feelings of my people, if you're being really negative, creating drama and bad situations for yourself, or in a woe is me circle of sadness - I'm going to call you on it.
Now I'm sure that may people find me harsh. And I'm not sure I can disagree. But my blunt honesty comes from a place of wanting to help and because I love you. At the same time, I can't help but think my closest friends come to me specifically for this reason - because if you know me, you know this is what you're going to get.
I'm genuinely a positive, problem solving, easy to bounce back person. I've gone through my fair share of hardships and unpleasant times and sometimes I'm sad. The difference is that I minimize the time I spend in that negative space. Very quickly I make the decision to actively change my mood so that I can change my situation.
When I have friends who spend too much time and energy in a bad mindset, I will call you out. And if you're acting in a way to invite drama or negativity into your world, I will call you out. If you're looking for someone to commiserate with, to tell you that life is meaner to you than others and you have a right to be bitter, I am not that friend. And I don't want you to be that friend either.
I will allow you time to grieve, to be angry and to blame the world. Just as I am allowed some time to experience those feelings too. But then I'm going to expect you to actively participate in changing your mood and your life and I fully expect you to do the same for me. Because without honesty in relationships, there's no real bond. And the more I grow older, the smaller my friendship circle becomes. I don't want the big group of acquaintances, I want my real tried and true family who keeps it real and is fiercely loyal.
Maybe I am too harsh and could use a little sugar coating. But I believe that life is too short to spend large amounts of time in a bad place. The more positive energy you put out there, the more you get back. If you choose to live in a negative place, that's the life you get back. And that's not someone I want to spend my time around. So if you're my friend and you're thinking - man - she's kind of blunt, think about why. And think about how you act, because maybe you're the one who needs a shift in your sparkle. Life is too short for me to allow anyone or anything to dull my bubble of sparkle.