Second chances are not for everyone. I get the whole everyone makes mistakes piece of life, but there's something to be said for forgiving and forgetting. The older I get, the more I am in the camp of letting go and moving on from the bad things and embracing the future without them.
Obviously the option of the second chance depends largely on what that person did to you. Are we talking cheated on you or are we talking told a small lie? Did they steal from you or forget your birthday?
To dig even deeper - is this someone who constantly does the small things that hurt? Because often times being consistently hurtful can feel just as awful as if a person did one big thing.
Either way, at the end of the day, you have to decide whether giving someone a second chance is putting your peace at risk or if it's something you are truly able to move on from.
I think we give too much romanticism to second chances. We excuse behavior for friends and loved ones in order to make ourselves feel better or to avoid accepting a truth we know is there. But realistically, people are who they show you they are. That's not to say they cannot grow and be who you need them to be down the road, but in that time, if someone shows you a side of them, believe them.
I'm also of the camp that doesn't believe it's cold hearted to choose not to give someone a second chance. It takes a really strong person to forgive and move forward without someone else. And to truly move on, to release any anger or sorrow, and be true to your inner peace.
Life is really short, and you don't get to do it twice. I fail to understand how sacrificing your peace and happiness for anyone is worth doing. If someone is causing me great pain, either all at once, or over a long period of time, they don't value me as they should and it's time to walk away.
I read a bunch of quotes when I started thinking about this piece. And the one that stuck with me was:
"Whatever happens, never run back to what broke you."
I've spent a lot of time giving out second chances and embracing second guesses. And all that's brought me is a time in my life when I was miserable. I lacked the confidence to put my happiness and health above others and I failed to identify that its ok to stand up for myself in painful situations. There's something to be said for second chances, but there's a lot more to be said for the people who would never risk making that an option.