Second Chances

Second chances are not for everyone.  I get the whole everyone makes mistakes piece of life, but there's something to be said for forgiving and forgetting.  The older I get, the more I am in the camp of letting go and moving on from the bad things and embracing the future without them.

Obviously the option of the second chance depends largely on what that person did to you.  Are we talking cheated on you or are we talking told a small lie?  Did they steal from you or forget your birthday?

To dig even deeper - is this someone who constantly does the small things that hurt?  Because often times being consistently hurtful can feel just as awful as if a person did one big thing.

Either way, at the end of the day, you have to decide whether giving someone a second chance is putting your peace at risk or if it's something you are truly able to move on from.

I think we give too much romanticism to second chances.  We excuse behavior for friends and loved ones in order to make ourselves feel better or to avoid accepting a truth we know is there.  But realistically, people are who they show you they are.  That's not to say they cannot grow and be who you need them to be down the road, but in that time, if someone shows you a side of them, believe them.

I'm also of the camp that doesn't believe it's cold hearted to choose not to give someone a second chance.  It takes a really strong person to forgive and move forward without someone else.  And to truly move on, to release any anger or sorrow, and be true to your inner peace.  

Life is really short, and you don't get to do it twice.  I fail to understand how sacrificing your peace and happiness for anyone is worth doing.  If someone is causing me great pain, either all at once, or over a long period of time, they don't value me as they should and it's time to walk away.

I read a bunch of quotes when I started thinking about this piece.  And the one that stuck with me was:

"Whatever happens, never run back to what broke you."

I've spent a lot of time giving out second chances and embracing second guesses.  And all that's brought me is a time in my life when I was miserable.  I lacked the confidence to put my happiness and health above others and I failed to identify that its ok to stand up for myself in painful situations.  There's something to be said for second chances, but there's a lot more to be said for the people who would never risk making that an option.

Hit the Reset Button

Hi Sequins!  I know I'm not the only one who gets completely involved in work and other people and completely sets my self care aside.  When I do this, I get really off track in being aware of what I need.  I get irritable, easily flustered, and just plain exhausted.  In order to maximize my sparkle, I'm trying to be more aware of where I'm at internally so that externally I can present my best self.

I've put together a list of resets - things that help me focus on ME and get back to neutral when I've been going a million miles a minute and am out of whack.  I'm sure a lot of these are already in your wheelhouse but maybe you forget to use them.  I'm here to remind you - sometimes you gotta DO YOU!

1. Fitness

I've grown up an athlete.  When I take a moment to go for a run, take a yoga class, or lift weights, my mind slips back into that role and I'm at peace.  Bonus?  It's good for the body too and often helps me sleep at night.

2. Naps

Ya'll I am the QUEEN of naps.  When I'm overwhelmed or exhausted, catch me in bed hitting the reset button.  I prefer hours but if I can only get 30 minutes in, I'll nap.  Sometimes my body just needs to completely shut down and reboot and sleep is the best way to achieve this.

3. Books

I read every single night.  Books are an escape for me.  I tend to lean towards a good mystery novel because I love the excitement of the puzzle.  Books help my mind shut out everything else and focus on whatever world I'm placed into.  

4. Puppies

I have a dog who is my child.  Spending time playing with him, walking him, or simply  snuggling with him makes my whole heart smile.  He reminds me there are more important things in life and that he's always there excited to see me.  Rescue a dog if you have not already because it is them who will rescue you!

5. Nails

Get your nails did!  When you look right, you feel right!  I love escaping the world and taking my headphones to the nail salon to get a good mani/pedi.  It looks good, helps you feel good, and you get a minute to escape from the real world.

6. Journal

Journaling is the best way to get out everything you're thinking and feeling and reflect on it.  It's also alone time to just digest everything going on and figure out where you're at.  Super important to be able to recognize where your feelings come from so that you are better able to handle them moving forward.  

Those 6 things are my favorite way to reset and refocus.  I know some people like to be around friends or family but for me resetting myself is more about alone time.  Without me time, I would go insane!  How do you best reset yourself?

#SparkleOn