I don't remember the last time I cried. In most cases, it is very easy for me to maintain an even demeanor. I can store away negative emotions for years. Because of this, it is often assumed that I am cold. Harsh. Mean. Selfish. I've been called it all.
The truth is - I feel things very deeply. I internalize most emotions for years. I am highly sensitive to how I make others feel.
I am also really terrible at processing and showing outward emotions to the universe.
The truth us, a lot of people out there process feelings differently. Whether it stem from a need to protect oneself or simply just be the way someone is, it's not easy to be the person who doesn't show a ton of emotion.
I'm an excitable human being. I'm full of energy. For me the issue is I'm unable to process and show the sad/angry/difficult feels. I shut down or I go into problem solving mode.
I always considered this part of me as a great weakness. I've tried to force myself to show emotion when it's considered appropriate to do so. But I can't.
I've brought this inability to show emotions to my therapist and what I've learned is that surprisingly, there's nothing wrong with me. I am not cold. Harsh. Mean. Selfish. And it's not my responsibility to change how I process feelings to make someone else more comfortable.
The real hard hitting truth? There's no right way to process emotions. There's no requirement for how to show emotion. And those of us who do not showcase our feelings in a way that society says they must be shown - are not broken.
And those who do show emotion loudly and frequently - are not dramatic.
Instead of trying to fit people into emotional vs not emotional boxes, try to understand how they process their feelings and why. In order to have a successful relationship (in romance, families, business, friendships) you will need to invest time in figuring out how your people tick. And when you do, validate that their way of operating is important.
For me, the best way to get into my heart, is to tell me you know I have a kind soul and I'm wonderful the way I am.
I'll never be the outwardly emotional human, but I will always be feeling the most internally.
Check in with your people who don't give you all the feels loudly, quite often we are the ones nobody asks about because it is assumed we are okay.
And stop beating yourself up because you experience and express emotions any one way. There's no rules for how to feel. All the world asks is that you do.