People spend a lot of time judging. I'm not talking about the once in awhile comments everyone makes while people watching, I'm talking those people who have to have an opinion on everything, and usually its a mean one. Everybody knows that one friend or co worker that has to comment on everything from what you're wearing to what you eat for lunch, to your love life. Girls are notorious for this mentality. And I'm over it.
What does what someone is wearing, who they're dating, what they do for a living, or what they weigh have to do with you? Explain to me how it greatly impacts your life? I'll tell you how, it makes you negative; and negativity breeds negativity. You don't know what is going on in that person's life that makes them who they are. Making quick, irrelevant judgments of another person is negative, insecure, and boring.
With the prevalence of social media and celebrity presence everywhere, its extremely hard not to partake in a culture of comparison. We are surrounded by people telling us how to look, what to wear, that money defines our worth, and that we have to conform to be relevant. I get how we become judgmental with what's in front of us every second of the day. I'm certainly guilty of being judgmental myself. But its about accountability. Recognize when you're being judgmental, stop the behavior, and re-focus your thoughts to a more positive place.
In recent years I've challenged myself to tell people the kind things in my head. If I see a girl walking down the street and I like her shoes, I tell her. If I appreciate something positive someone says on Facebook, I'll compliment their attitude. And from making a habit of saying these kind things out loud, I've become a less judgmental person. I tend to notice the really unique things about people that make them great. My brain has shifted from noticing society imposed faults to seeing positive attributes. I don't feel the need to compare, I've gotten to this annoyingly positive place where I really am rooting for everyone. Certainly I have my off moments (I know, you thought I was perfect...) but I can proudly say the majority of the time - I'm rooting for us all.
I think the easiest way to combat this need to judge is to get comfortable with yourself. Admit your faults, celebrate your strengths, and get really healthy abut how you talk to yourself. Often times the judgmental behavior we have towards others is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. When you're able to embrace your total package, you're more likely to accept the differences of others and see them as unique quirks rather than less than desirable habits.
My challenge to you, especially during a time when the leader of our country openly judges people for their race, class, and even mental impairments - try saying something positive about someone, or even to them. Even better, start with doing that to yourself. And the next time you feel like bashing someone for their shoes/clothes/hair/lifestyle choices; why don't you re-group, re-evaluate your thinking; and say something positive,. Mom was right, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
