We all know the worst part about working is often the people. When you’re working in an office you’ve got to interact with so many different types of people in a day and its exhausting. But you’re at work, so you can’t tell Susan in accounting to go fuck herself. You’ve got to play nice.
As kids we were taught basic skills like keep your hands to yourself. Be nice. Really working as an adult is the same thing. You can’t touch anyone and you’ve got to find a way to not be an asshole. It’s just harder as an adult. The days are longer. Carol in sales is so annoying. Jim in marketing? Nobody cares about your frat lifestyle at 35 bro.
I wish this was the blog where I tell you, who cares, be a jerk, tell everyone off, it’s fine! Your career won’t suffer, it’s a big bold move! It’s not. You unfortunately have to play the game. You’ve got to play nice.
Here’s how we are going to get through this together:
1. Accept it
You have to stop making excuses or justifying any bad behavior. Accept that being an adult in the workplace means playing nice. There’s no way around it. Even if you work from home, you’ve got to put on the nice voice on the phone. Just know the rules and understand there’s no way out.
2. Treat Everyone with Respect
The basic rule is that everyone deserves respect. Whether you like it or not, you can’t be disrespectful. If someone is being blatantly disrespectful to you, have that conversation with the appropriate parties, but you can’t be an ass because someone else is. There’s a decorum and you’ve got to show respect
3. Have the Conversation
If someone isn’t being nice to you, talk to them. Or talk to HR. Stop the problem before it starts. Don’t allow it to fester and don’t allow it to create some dramatic situation. Don’t gossip about it. Nip it in the bud. And if it’s truly just ridiculous, let it go. Some people are petty. Wish them well and move on.
4. Check In
Give yourself a review. I think sometimes we get so caught up in our own work so we forget to check in and see if we are in fact being a nice person to work with. Not everyone has to like you but they shouldn’t feel disrespected by you or that you’re cruel. Always make time to check in with the people around you – especially during stressful times.
5. Be Realistic
Look sometimes you’re going to snap. Sometimes you’re going to make that rude sarcastic comment. It happens. Be humble. Apologize when you need to. And let it go when its just not that big of a deal. Nobody is perfect. Aim to be kind but with the knowledge that sometimes you’re grumpy.
I’m the queen of the sarcastic dry humor. I like to poke fun at people. 98% of the time I’m sugar and sweet, but that 2% spice, that’s some extra shit that almost negates the 98% that was an angel. So realistically, this piece was probably for me. I get the struggles it takes to be nice sometimes. Especially when people are idiots. However, and this is critical, in the 3 million jobs I’ve had – I have learned that when you are nice, it makes the whole experience a lot better.
And if you’re still rolling your eyes, think of how small the world is. Especially the job industry. Chances are, somebody knows somebody. So, if you’re an asshole, eventually someone somewhere is going to remember that. And they’re going to say something. And it’s going to keep you from getting hired somewhere. I’ve seen it happen so many times. The world is a hell of a lot smaller than you think!
What have we learned today? Play nice. It’s good karma. It’s important for your career. And it’s incredible for your mental health and happiness at the office.