Sexual harassment and the way in which men behave have been such a hot topic in the media. Between locker room culture and the good ole boys club, there is a movement to really define what toxic masculinity is and how we change the way in which our boys and men are interacting with women and each other.
What is toxic masculinity? I'm not sure anyone has truly defined it to the level that we have an acceptable understanding of its meaning. In general terms, It refers to the socially-constructed attitudes that describe the masculine gender role as violent, unemotional, sexually aggressive, etc.
With so many incidents of workplace sexual harassment, experiences of women at festivals, and recent acts of violence attributed to men identifying their source of anger as women - there's a lot to talk about. And its quite the prickly, sticky, sensitive topic at that.
I hate the idea of classifying men into groups like locker room talk and good ole boys club. It does a disservice to a lot of men and sets the standard for their behavior pretty dang low. It excuses behavior as being an inherent trait someone is born with due to their gender.
The simple fact is that most women experience some level of toxic masculinity at some point in their life. I'll go so far to say that a lot of us expect it and accept it as part of the burden of being a woman. It's the brushing up against you in crowded spaces, the unwanted touching, the bold and crass jokes, and certainly the escalation to physical and sexual violence.
So why is toxic masculinity such a pervasive problem? I know a lot of really good men in the world, so its not a men are awful problem. It stems from the environment in which our men are raised. If men aren't taught at a young age to be mindful of the way in which they speak about and to (and treat) women, they become part of the problem.
As always, I believe education is the root of the solution. We need to start the conversation with men young. Teach them as children to keep their hands to themselves and to not be bullies. In middle school and in high school, start the discussion around consent. And I believe it should me mandatory to attend an educational seminar around sexual assault and the culture of college life when a student enters the University.
There's also a serious need for personal accountability. I would argue that a very large number of men are very aware of what is right and what is wrong. Holding yourself accountable for the way in which you speak and act is critical for making a change. And when you're in a group with other men, practice "see something, say something."
If ever you're confused about what's right, what's wrong, and what crosses the line - have an open dialogue. It's incredibly difficult to make sense of it all and I'm willing to have the discussion with you should you want to know what it feels like to be a woman in various situations.
More and more, people are speaking up. Women are saying "this is not okay, I do not feel okay." More men are saying "that's not funny, and it's not acceptable."
The only way we are going to combat toxic masculinity and change our culture is by educating the masses, having the open conversations, and speaking up when something isn't right.
We owe it to each other as human beings to do more and to be better.
For more information, check out Teen Vogue's Wellness Wednesday with Vera Papisova and my personal favorite - Dr. Kevin Gilliland where they addressed this very topic.
As always, do yourself a favor and be aware and informed about the implications of what's happening in the world. Social awareness is such an important part of our lives and you can never do enough to learn about how other people in the world experience their daily lives. Diversity and gettign out of our comfort zone is how we are eventually going to get to the equality we deserve.