I’m pretty "woke.” I like to stay informed fight for equality, talk to people that are nothing like me. But I am not perfect. And I’ve got a lot of unconscious biases to move away from.
The other day I made a comment about a photo and how in the Lululemon ad it looked like the woman had a penis in her leggings. In no way was it meant to be negative towards the trans community. It was more poking fun at Lululemon, a company famous for its biases towards really thin women. My coworker made a really valid point: women can have penises too.
It didn’t matter that I didn’t mean any offense. It could be offensive to someone. I get it, we are all so very offended these days. But this falls into the category of something that I could put effort into being more aware. I believe it is my responsibility as a feminist to make everyone feel equal and loved.
I’m also not saying I should feel guilty or like I did anything wrong. The truth is, I’ve grown up in a very straight hetero normative world. That’s really all I’ve known because its my experience. I have to unlearn those experiences to some extent to welcome in new norms.
Why is this important? Why can’t everyone just “be less sensitive?” Sure, we can go that route, and that’s fine if that’s really how you want to live. I personally believe in equality. I want to experience that for myself and for future generations. So I’m willing to put in a little extra work, to ensure that I’m changing my unconscious biases and making the world easier for others.
I think we’ve actually become less sensitive and more selfish. We get so outraged and point so many fingers and instead of figuring out what something means, we just lash out. We are uninformed and we aren’t talking to each other and that’s creating a lack of safe space for really everyone.
Instead of becoming angry or defensive - take a deep breath. Have the conversation with an open mind. And if ultimately a little compassion and a little extra effort on your part can make someone else more comfortable, how is that not worth the energy? I’d hope that someone would do the same for me. We all have to live here, let’s make it livable.