The Evolution of an Activist

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about activism. It’s no secret that if you’ve known me for a long time, I’ve greatly evolved into someone who is spending a lot of time on educating myself and being more active in social justice.

I would say that I’ve always considered myself relatively aware but certainly not openly outspoken on things like Black Lives Matter, sexual assault, immigration - the list goes on.

And therein lies the problem.

I have been passively active instead of fiercely an advocate for others.

Obviously growing up I experienced life in a sheltered and less diverse space. A lot of the problems of the people in society that deal with everyday racism, sexism, and hate never really affected me. Or so I thought.

In reality, it’s been everywhere around me, I just existed in a place of privilege and lack of information to really acknowledge the problem. I was part of the problem.

Realizing that I have actively been part of the problem by passively being part of the solution has been an awakening for me.

I think over the years as I decided to embrace myself, confront my traumas, and trust who I am rather than who people always told me I am; I started to feel a deep need to stop hiding in my privilege.

That has led to some people speaking to me about how much “I’ve changed.” How I’m “angry" and “not accepting of other beliefs.”

I would argue that each and every one of those accusations is true. And I’m so proud that they are.

I have changed. It was about time. I am a citizen of the world and just because I’ve been dealt a better hand than some others does not mean I shouldn't use that hand to extend to another.

I am angry. I’m really angry that in 2020 we are so behind in basic humanity. I am so angry children are in cages, Black men and women are being killed by the police and that women are being raped and the attackers are called “one of the good guys.”

I am not only unwilling to accept anyone who disagrees with these things, I am openly going to call you out on these horrific practices and how you are contributing to the problem.

And I make no apologies for the new me.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you choose to grow, evolve and become a better person. You don’t have to explain why, you don’t have to prove metrics, you don’t have to do anything but evolve. Because anyone who chooses not to evolve is not someone who is on a path to better themselves.

It’s taken awhile for me to understand who I want to be and what I want to be to the people around me and to this world. That’s included pissing off, confusing, and losing some friends and family. And it’s sad, of course it is. To say I’ve never stopped to say “am I on the right path” to myself would be a lie. But every single time the answer is yes.

I am on the right path. I am working to change the world, even if it’s just one tiny piece of that world for even one person.

I’m evolving. I will always be evolving. I’m learning and I’m sitting in uncomfortable situations, I’m having the hard conversations and I’m confronting the things that I am doing wrong while unlearning how I got to that place.

The person I am now is someone I deeply deeply love and feel pride in. I light up when I talk about things like equality, how to help survivors of sexual assault, anti-racism, fixing our broken political system, women’s rights to our bodies — these are the things that I talk faster about, raise my voice and shake my fists and make my heart beat fast. I do believe we can make changes in my lifetime. Even little ones.

The person I am now is also not for everyone. If she’s not for you, grab onto some sparkle fumes on your way to the back because I plan to keep marching on; with or without your support.

Unconscious Bias

I’m pretty "woke.” I like to stay informed fight for equality, talk to people that are nothing like me. But I am not perfect. And I’ve got a lot of unconscious biases to move away from.

The other day I made a comment about a photo and how in the Lululemon ad it looked like the woman had a penis in her leggings. In no way was it meant to be negative towards the trans community. It was more poking fun at Lululemon, a company famous for its biases towards really thin women. My coworker made a really valid point: women can have penises too.

It didn’t matter that I didn’t mean any offense. It could be offensive to someone. I get it, we are all so very offended these days. But this falls into the category of something that I could put effort into being more aware. I believe it is my responsibility as a feminist to make everyone feel equal and loved.

I’m also not saying I should feel guilty or like I did anything wrong. The truth is, I’ve grown up in a very straight hetero normative world. That’s really all I’ve known because its my experience. I have to unlearn those experiences to some extent to welcome in new norms.

Why is this important? Why can’t everyone just “be less sensitive?” Sure, we can go that route, and that’s fine if that’s really how you want to live. I personally believe in equality. I want to experience that for myself and for future generations. So I’m willing to put in a little extra work, to ensure that I’m changing my unconscious biases and making the world easier for others.

I think we’ve actually become less sensitive and more selfish. We get so outraged and point so many fingers and instead of figuring out what something means, we just lash out. We are uninformed and we aren’t talking to each other and that’s creating a lack of safe space for really everyone.

Instead of becoming angry or defensive - take a deep breath. Have the conversation with an open mind. And if ultimately a little compassion and a little extra effort on your part can make someone else more comfortable, how is that not worth the energy? I’d hope that someone would do the same for me. We all have to live here, let’s make it livable.

Ignorance is bliss

I spoke about this in an earlier blog but I wanted to elaborate. I have said and thought a lot of ignorant things in my life. And I feel a lot of shame for ever thinking those things or speaking them into existence. Now on the level of ignorance, I’ve still always been pretty aware. But it’s important to acknowledge that I’ve said and thought things that are wrong and socially or politically unaware.

Why is this worth two blog posts? Because right now society exists in a place of us vs them. We are in constant competition to say what is right and what is wrong and who can be the most woke. There is so much shame around anyone who has ever thought something that is ignorant that I think many people live in fear of speaking up. That is not how we create a better world moving forward.

America is fucked up right now. Truly, I’m not sure how to sugarcoat that or say it in a better way. We rip children from their families. We are killing innocent black men at an alarming rate. Women’s rights are being stripped every single day. Hate is everywhere. And our President is the biggest proponent of this.

I’m all for standing up and saying what you believe is wrong. If you believe in hate, racism, sexism - general bigotry - you need to be called out on that. It is not ok to push these agendas.

Here’s where I disagree with some liberal agendas - shaming people for what they believe. In order to affect change, we have got to say you’re wrong and this is why. And we have to listen. Really sit down and listen and have open nonjudgmental conversations with people.

I am able to be more open and aware because I had people who allowed me safe spaces for questions. I openly spoke my ignorance into those safe spaces and instead of being shamed, I was given patience and guidance to a new perspective. Because those people shared their stories in such a comforting environment, I was able to form new opinions on my own based on hearing other experiences.

Politics and social issues are not a competition between two teams to be won and lost. Everyone continues to lose if we continue to operate the way we are. It’s not a game. Human lives have been lost. More lives are at risk. We need to do everything we can to encourage change as best we can through open and safe environments. The more we create a culture of fear, the longer we will live in this state of ugly. And I am so sick and heartbroken by the ugly I see around me.

I have believed ignorant things. I will probably believe more ignorant things again. I am not a bad person. I’m a better person because I’m willing to learn and grow and become a better member of society through safe spaces.

It’s also really important to me to be a safe space for anyone who needs one. If you have questions/comments or need someone to talk with, please know that I am here for you. If you’re open to growth and being more aware and empathetic, I’m here to help you however I can on that journey.

How to Be an Ally

Recently I sat in on a talk about diversity and inclusion. A woman spoke about her experience as the only woman in a male dominated office environment and the things often difficult positions she found herself in as a result of that. During one particular situation, one of her male colleagues stood up for her in a small but powerful way. And she never forgot that because he made her feel like she had an ally.

I have often spoke about some similar situations in the workplace. Similarly, in my experience, the fact that I felt so alone is what made the situation feel so awful. I never had anyone who stood up for me.

Feeling alone for being different is a really scary thing to deal with. We all have differences that make us self conscious or hyper aware of what is making us different than everyone else in the room. Instead of making someone feel badly for those differences, celebrate them. Everyone deserves to feel accepted. What makes us different is also what makes us uniquely ourselves.

The most important thing I know in life is that just because I am not like someone else does not mean I cannot empathize with their struggles.

The lesson of this being to show up for people as an ally. Be brave enough to make people feel included at work, at home, in social settings. It may seem like a very small thing but it can change someone’s life and create a cycle of positive inclusive behavior in the world.

Imagine how uncomfortable you feel when you feel like you’re standing out in a negative way. I think about how I’ve been treated as the only woman in some spaces and how worthless I felt as a result of the actions and words of others. I know what it’s like to be put into situations where you’re valued as less than everyone else in the room. I don’t want anyone else to feel that way (that whole empathy thing).

It often takes very little to speak up but has a profound effect on the life of someone else.

When you’re in situations that are uncomfortable or you see others feeling uncomfortable, speak up. Especially when something is not right. When someone is being belittled for their differences, speak up.

Outside of speaking up, be an active participant in being part of the solution. That way, when the time comes to speak up, you’re more empowered to do so.

How to Educate Yourself/Be an Everyday Ally

Communicate

The easiest way to educate yourself is to speak to people who are different than you. People who have differences you have never experienced. Ask them about their experiences. And listen. Actively sit back and listen. When you have questions, ask them. The point is to go into these conversations with an open mind and a willingness to learn and be vulnerable with your own misunderstandings.

Support Minority Businesses

Actively choose to not only shop local, but shop local in communities you don’t identify with. Read books by women. Shop at a black owned business. Eat at an LGBTQ owned restaurant. Attend a Latin art show. Find ways to consume goods and engage in events that are sponsored and put together by those in minority communities. I say minority specifically because a lot of the world is run by white men, you’re already supporting those businesses essentially every single day.

Write a List

Sit down and write a list of the things that provide you privilege and write a list about the things that make you different. It’s two fold in understanding what areas in life you don’t struggle in simply because of how you were born. It’s also about facing areas that make you insecure and imagining how others may feel because of differences they were born with. This step teaches you compassion.

Separate Fact from Fiction

Do your research on things like Black Lives Matter, gay marriage, transgender lives. Don’t participate in headlines and what you hear in the media. Actively form your own opinions based on what these people really face and why their messages are so important. We have got to stop participating in the culture of misinformation and outrage because its cool. Do your homework.

Consume Media that doesn’t make you the hero

Look for movies, books, music, art that features people who are not like you. White? Find a movie that makes a black person the hero. Straight? Find books featuring LGBTQ romances. I’m not saying give up media you enjoy, just expand your experiences.

There are so many ways to be an ally. Everyone in the world wants to feel included and celebrated for what makes them different. Don’t forget that there’s power in being the person who stands up for that. One day you may need someone to stand for you.

The Kids Call it WOKE

I grew up in a lovely little sheltered suburban community with more plant diversity than people diversity. Thankfully I had parents who exposed me to travel, an inner city track club, and spoke to me about being a good human. However, growing up I wouldn’t consider myself “woke” as the kids say.

Today there is a lot of pressure around being aware, involved and on the right side of history. And I’m here for that. I think its important to learn, grow, and be part of creating change. But I also don’t expect everyone to show up that way. We all grew up in different worlds with different levels of awareness. Often we aren’t “woke” until we take the time to force ourselves to be so.

I have not always been so aware and involved. I believe its important to say I’ve said horrible things before. Regardless of not meaning harm with my words, with joking, whatever the case may be, its wrong. I apologize for that, I understand where I was wrong. Chances are, a lot of us have been in the same boat. Where I believe the problem lies is with the constant need to shame people for who they were before they evolved.

It is entirely possible to start from a place of ignorance and choose to be better. When we constantly shame people for who they were while they’re trying to grow - it creates fear in them and prevents them from evolving. If you’re constantly told how horrible you are for who you were by a group that’s supposedly super “woke”, what’s the motivation to be part of that new circle? Personally, I welcome people willing to become a better person. I let them know the things that aren’t acceptable and help them understand where they went wrong in the past and then I help answer questions in a safe space moving forward.

We have to create safe spaces for learning and growing. Creating hostile communities for change only belittles the message and makes us just as bad as “the other side.” If you want to ask for change, equality, compassion - you must first embody that.

Living in Texas for two years, I encountered a lot of Southern traditional values. Including racism, homophobia, and sexism. And it breaks my heart every time. But I don’t get angry. I understand that in order to effect change, I have to be open to listening and having positive conversations. If someone isn’t willing to change, I wish them well and move on. Those aren’t the people who are going to change the world. Change will weed them out. But I’ll be damned if I am going to stoop to that level with hateful rhetoric. I’m going to be an open door for having the tough conversations, for asking the uncomfortable questions judgment free. Because THAT is how we encourage learning and growth.

We don’t all get it right the first time. I certainly haven’t always been the very model of what I believe and practice now and I’m sure there are STILL times I am not perfect, but I work towards it. And I welcome anyone else who would like to do so. I’m a safe space. Please feel free to come to me and know I’m not here to judge you if you’re open to learning and becoming a better person in the world. I’m grateful for you taking the chance to do so and I’d like to be someone you can trust in that process.

The Future is Still Female

I often talk about being a woman and how hard that can be in a culture that favors men. Today I'm going to give specific examples of areas it's hard to be a woman and how you can become a strong woman by turning that situation in your favor. Sometimes all it takes is a shift in perspective to shift the odds in your favor.

1. The Glass Ceiling

We all know about the wage gap. It's real. It's really hard to be a woman in a world that places men in charge more often than women, that pays women less for the same work, and that still chastises women for being strong when it praises men for the same behavior. Acknowledge these things and forget them. Do what men do. Ask for what you deserve, and be prepared to walk away if you aren't given it. Own the idea as your own, stop giving credit where credit is not due. If you're called a bitch for standing up for yourself, stop the dialogue right there. Don't be intimidated by the attempts to shut down your strength. It takes a lot of energy and confidence to put these things into action. You have to believe in yourself and you will have to repeat these things over and over. But men don't apologize for being loud. They take the credit, sometimes when it's not theirs to take. And they ask for the raise. The only way for you to get the same respect, the additional money, the title - you've got to speak up. And you've got to ignore the people who shame you for these things. The right company, the right culture - they'll recognize the value you provide, and they'll appreciate the strong woman you are because it benefits their bottom line as much as it does yours.

2. The Harassment

Harassment happens daily for most of us. Between cat calls, inappropriate behavior, unwanted touching, and so much more - women face a lot of behavior that's just plain wrong. It gives us emotions that ranges from uncomfortable to legitimate fear. Quote honestly, I'm with Iliza Schleisinger, it stems from the fact that men are born stronger than women. They know that we can't overpower them in most cases. And that's what stops us a lot of times. Even when we get brave and speak up, there's that little moment you think "Oh shit, is he going to kill me?" And that sucks. However, not saying anything, that's even scarier. Take the power away. Call out the abuser. And if you have to, take appropriate legal action. In the workplace, at the grocery store, at the bars, stop this behavior in its tracks. And when you see it happening to others, say something. You don't owe anyone their comfort when they've stolen yours. You don't have to laugh. And you don't have to explain yourself. If you feel unsafe, that's enough to justify a response. Call it out, take proper recourse, and continue doing so. Let them call you angry, let them claim they weren't interested in you, let them shame you. That's not on you, that's on them. They know what they did was wrong. Encourage your male counterparts to speak up too. Talk to them frankly, explain how these things make you feel. How they're not ok. That's the only way we stop this. By not allowing it to slide by without a word.

3. Feminists are Angry Man Hating Women

First of all, we are angry. We are angry because we want equality. But feminists don't hate men. The only thing feminists want are equal rights. When you hear people labeling feminists as man haters, dykes, or other derogatory misguided comments - correct these people. Often times, you can't change their minds, but you should sure as hell try. There are a lot of uneducated people, sadly, a lot of women, who have no idea what feminism is. Maybe they're shown poor examples or maybe, they're ignorant - bottom line, stop and make the correction. Feminism isn't going anywhere, best to show we are a force to be reckoned with in the best possible way. And be a good example of what it means to be a feminist. The strongest way we can push our agenda is to exist as strong women. Watch the way you speak about women and men. Are you living a life that shows equality is your focus? Check yourself and make changes where you need to in order to truly focus on what being a feminist means.

4. The Pressures of looking perfect

This one is my favorite because what does perfect even mean? Personally, I have no desire to look like a lot of IG models/real models/celebrities. My ideal body type is strong, healthy, and a little curvy. For someone else, they prefer to be thin with minimal curves. The point is, whatever your ideal body type is, that's what perfect is. Additionally, you aren't made to please anyone else. It's not our job to look any certain way for a man (or women if you're gay). You don't owe looking any which way to anyone. Sometimes, I look disgusting and I have the audacity to go out in public when I do - and I won't apologize for that. Stop comparing yourself, stop getting yourself to a place that's unhealthy or unhappy because you need to look a certain way. Begin to talk about yourself and others in a really positive way. Compliment each other on the things you love about you. Instead of focusing on looks, celebrate the successes of who you are. Start young. Teach little girls they're more than how they look. I like to leave myself post its that remind me what I love about me. Some days it is physical (cute butt), but often times it has more to do with who I am. And STOP judging other women based upon their looks. We all judge but redefine how you look at women. Start seeing the positive things (hey girl, love your style) rather than either hating on a heavy/thin woman, change the dialogue because her looks have nothing to do with you.

5. That's not ladylike

Fuck. That. Shit. Seriously. What is ladylike? You know what's ladylike? Being whomever and whatever you like. We already have to give birth (if we so choose), let's go ahead and not make any other demands of a woman, because that's already superhuman. If you want to swear, dress "like a man" (ok society, whatever that means), not step foot in a kitchen in your life - do it. There's no rules. Men and women do not need to fit into defined roles. Being ladylike is owning your truth. Remind people of this when they try to say otherwise. A woman's place is wherever she damn well pleases. The best way to combat this viewpoint is to simply live your life your way. Don't fit into any mold you don't want to. And don't apologize, don't explain - just live your life for you. And live it well.

6. Women who are single are unhappy

This one is so absurd I almost just ignore it. Being single is where I've learned the most about who I am and become the best most confident version of myself. Having an awesome partner is super dope. It makes the adventure a lot of fun (and less expensive). But I don't hate being single. When I'm single, I get to grow and learn a lot about me and who I want to be. Not all single women are looking for relationships. We are not attempting to wife you all. I think the best way to fight back on this one is to laugh. Society is built to back this statement until the death, so countering it is super hard. You get labeled the angry single spinster. You become the bitter one who hates men. There really isn't anything you can say to fight it. So ignore it. Laugh it off. And then keep living your best single life. Quite honestly, instead of arguing about it and your own insecurities (which is the only reason anyone believes in this one), I'd rather be traveling Europe, sipping on sparkly drinks on the beach, or getting my sweat on in a super awesome Pilates class. This one has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the insecurities society has placed on people.

You know what - this one is going to become a series. There are so many examples of situations in which its so difficult to be a woman. And so many ways to combat them. And so many ways to gain a whole lot of confidence in doing so. I hope these help. If you've got situations to submit, shoot me an email, I'd love to address your specific concerns! Get out there and thrive ladies. We are in a time to make a difference and effect change, do your part by being authentic to the cause of equality!

Love is Love

I'm really lucky. My first memories of relationship talks with my parents were about equality. From a very young age I was told that love is love, no matter what love looks like for me (or anyone), as long as love is at the center, that's all that matters. It was made very clear that gay/straight/trans/bi were all just different ways to love oneself and others.

I never knew that not everyone was brought up with this belief system. Up until I was in high school, I assumed that we all lived in a world that accepted these as true.

When I started learning about the reality that men and women could only marry, that the term gay was used as a derogatory slur, that some people believed you go to hell if you love the same sex - I was shocked.

I'm straight. I have never suffered the hate that a lot of people in the LGBTQ community often face every single day.

I still truly don't understand anyone who claims that being gay/bi/trans is wrong. The idea that a person can say "I don't believe in that" is baffling. How can you not believe in something that's a reality?

As tired as I am of hearing the hate surrounding this community, I cannot imagine actually being a member of the community and how it must feel to still have to fight daily for basic human rights.

Hate is learned. Alienation, judgment, and ignorance are taught. When I meet people who do not support this community, what I hear is that you don't support equality. You don't believe in human decency and love.

It's quite bold to give yourself the power to say "this is wrong" when speaking about another person's human rights. What a privilege to be able to tell another person who they can and cannot love. How positively self absorbed you must be to own the decision for others on how they can live their lives.

We need to be better about teaching our children that as long as someone is a good person, love is love. It starts in the home. Do not allow hate in your home. When teaching religion, emphasize that only God can judge, it's your job to show love. Companies need to head off discrimination. State and federal laws must protect all of its people equally. Businesses should be open about their support of all communities.

There is no excuse for the discrimination of the people in the LGBTQ community. Period. End of story. Do better. Be Better.

How to be a Man Right Now

I've heard it said recently that its really hard to be a man in a world surrounded by #MeToo.  And to be completely honest with you, that's bullshit.  

What I will concede is that it is a very confusing time to be a guy.  So how do you react in a world where you feel intimidated by your every move?  How do you know what to say to the women around you speaking up?  

First and foremost, understand that staying silent is staying complacent with the status quo.  Women need your support and we need your voice to make a change.

But where do you start?

Understand this isn't About You

Women do not hate you.  We are not trying to emasculate you.  Women do not blame all men.  We do not think all men are horrible predators.  This isn't about you.  This is about the situational experiences of women each and every day in the most normal of circumstances and how we feel about the things that have happened, and continue to happen to us.  

Ask Questions

Talk to the women closest to you and understand what #MeToo means to them.  Engage in a conversation that affords you a safe space to ask questions and listen to honest responses.  Take the time to speak to a couple different women to get different perspectives about the movement.  There's no one story that embodies what's happening right now and unfortunately we all have a story.  

Speak Up

We need your voice.  We need you to say I am so sorry for what you've endured.  We need a commitment from you to hold your friends, colleagues, and yourself accountable for helping prevent these instances from occurring.  We need your voice to say I hear you, and I stand by you for speaking your truth.  That's it.  

Those are all lovely suggestions, but how do you put them into practice?

• See something, say something.  A work, at the bar, at dinner with friends.  When you see something that's not ok, speak up.  Tell someone.  Get help.  Stop watching it happen.
• Reflect.  Have you ever put anyone in a questionable situation?  Have any guilt or confusion?  Figure out where you may have crossed the line and be cognizant of that in the future.  
• Provide support to the women who mean the most to you.  Listen to them, offer resources for professional help.  Show you care and follow through.
• Educate yourself.  Google #TimesUp, read about #MeToo, do a little research through ACLU.  Pickup a book from a survivor, browse one of the many studies out there with science to support our concerns.
• Be an activist.  Attend a march, donate to one of the many foundations aiming to specifically create equal rights for women in the world.  Write your congressmen.  Vote for qualified women running for office.
• Get Socially Active.  I think even having the courage to say you see what's happening and you don't condone it, that you support those speaking up is huge.  It takes guts to put yourself out there publicly and we appreciate it.

It's only a terrible time to be a terrible guy.  Be a good guy, and its always a great time to be a guy.

Privilege

I'd like to share something with you.  I'm white.  Like grew up in the suburbs, 2 parents, 2 kids, 2 dogs, soccer on Saturday's - white.  Ok I'm Portuguese.  But unless it's July, you can easily tell, I'm a white woman who grew up middle class.  

Is my life perfect?  Not even a little bit.  People actually don't believe a lot of my stories because shit like that doesn't happen in real life.  Let me tell you - it does, it has, I made it through.  I wish someone gave me the souvenir photo but I probably threw it away because it didn't have a puppy filter.

I used to struggle with the idea of white privilege.  It absolutely used to offend me.  I doubted its existence.  Realistically though, I never took the time to understand it.

But I asked some questions, did some research, mostly talked to people other than myself, and then asked some questions of people who are like me and here's where I'm at:

Having privilege does not mean I have not struggled.  Being white is not something I'm expected to apologize for.  White privilege isn't a label I've got to wear that says my life is rainbows and unicorns.

For me - understanding that I have privilege just simply means I get my struggles are different than someone who grew up in the same world but is black.  Or Latino.  Or really anything other than white.

The thing is - I am white.  So while I can listen to the stories of those not like me - those without that privilege - I don't know what its like.  Realistically, I never will.

But I'd like to use my voice to speak about it because I would hope that others would do the same for me.  I'd really like to work towards making life a little more equal.  I know, bet you guys never figured me for a good person, I didn't either but here we are.

Now I get it - life isn't equal and it never will be.  And you don't ever have to apologize for the life you have.  Being born wealthy or lucky or privileged is not something you have to stand up and apologize for.  You don't owe anything to anyone.  In fact, if you want to call it life's lottery and leave it at that - go right ahead.  You may even believe everyone has the same shot and needs to put in the same work.  I'll give you that life is hard and takes a lot of effort.  But given two people who are giving the same effort, coming from the same background but one is a minority and one is not - history kiiiiiiind of shows us the white guy is going to win (and I don't say GUY on accident).

You know - while we're at it - someone remind me to do a piece on male privilege because I'm currently living in the South (Texas, calm down, you're the South to the rest of America) and male privilege is flourishing.

Cool Cool - back to privilege.  Here's the thing.  Privilege is also widely associated with wealth.  And it's associated with being bad - making privileged people bad.  It doesn't mean any of that.  I'm not wealthy (Why hasn't anyone started a Go Fund me for this lifestyle) and I'm not even that bad of a person.  But there are people out there who will experience struggles I won't ever experience, simply because of the color of their skin. 

To recap - privilege is not something to apologize for, to feel guilty for, or to even take on as a burden.  But if you realize it's there - it is an opportunity to learn about the struggles of other people and to work for inclusion in a world that quite frankly is trying to be anything but.

Feminism

fem·i·nism

[ˈfeməˌnizəm]

NOUN

1. the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

Today, I want to refresh what feminism means and why I'm a feminist.  While we've definitely made 2017 the year of the woman - I think in all of the happenings in the world - some people have either forgotten what feminism means and what true feminists are fighting for or they’ve turned feminism into villanism. 

Feminism is not a dirty word.  Feminism is powerfully positive.  

Feminism is (amongst many other things):

1. The belief in equality of the sexes
2. A fight to bring women's interests and rights to the forefront of politics
3. A social rights movement
4. Bringing education about women's interests and rights to the public eye
5. Encouraging women to stand up for themselves and their beliefs - even when we do not agree on the same beliefs

Feminism is not (among many other things):

1. Women who hate men
2. Women attempting to take away rights of men (unless they infringe upon equality)
3. Emasculating men
4. Only for Democrats
5. Only about reproductive rights

Feminism is believing women should have the same rights in this country as men do.  And it's believing women have a voice that is just as important as any man's.  And real feminists believe that while we may not all agree with each other, we will fight for your right to believe in those values (unless they direct hate or inequality to others).  

I am a feminist because I believe in myself.  I am a feminist because I believe in other women.  I am a feminist because I first and foremost value equality over hate, ignorance, and creating laws that exclude others based upon gender, sexuality, or race. 

I believe I should be paid the same as men.  I believe I should make choices about my body without interference from others.  I believe my voice is just as powerful as any man's.  I believe I am worthy of as much respect as any man.  I believe I am more than what I look like. 

I am a feminist and I believe in equality.

Before you bash feminism, call feminists "feminazis" or refer to the movement as exclusive, angry, or for women only - educate yourself.  Do the research, talk to women who are fighting for what feminism actually stands for.  The world would be a whole lot better if we were all feminists.