Epic Fail

Because I’ve grown up as an athlete, the idea of goals and achieving them is something I take very seriously. To not achieve a goal is a fail, full stop. I’ve failed a lot in life. There are so many goals I set that I simply did not achieve. As I get older, I’m choosing to redefine failure when it comes to my goals.

Not achieving a goal is not a failure, full stop. Sometimes goals change. Sometimes we change. Sometimes not achieving a goal leads to discovering a new goal.

Alternatively, some of the goals I have achieved, they’ve left me empty. They’ve turned out to be wins that felt like losses.

I grew up being a really good athlete. Best in my little suburban community, always winning. Always chosen for the competitive travel teams. I wanted to run in a national championship race at the collegiate level. Due to injuries I was barely able to compete at the college level. I ran a handful of actual races and endured more surgeries than wins. A national championship race wasn’t happening. But I did learn about my strength, leadership skills, and discipline because of that failure. And those traits have led to a lot of the success I now find in my life.

When I was 28, I earned my dream job. I wanted to work in professional sports and after almost 6 years of grinding, I achieved that goal. And I was miserable. My mental and physical health suffered. It was a nightmare to work in such a toxic environment. And ultimately, it led me to pivot my dreams and goals to look outside of the industry I committed my entire future to.

Goals are so important to have. And achieving them matters. But not achieving them can be just as life changing. Failing might just be the best thing that ever happened to you. Full stop.

The Perfect Fit

A wise man once told me:

"When you're struggling to fit in, you gotta find the places that feel like home because they're not going to find you."

And I was shook.

We all spend a good amount of time figuring out who we are, what we want to do/be, and where we fit in the world. I've certainly spent my fair share of time finding myself and I probably forever will. I firmly believe that the moment you don't think there's anything to learn about yourself or the world, is the moment you have stopped growing.

To have the journey of life summed up so simply opened my eyes. I often complicate things with anxiety and overthinking. Having an outsider challenge me to think differently often leads me to gain new and beneficial perspective.

Because I'm inherently a planner, I've had this whole life thing on a step by step plan since I was born. I popped out with a to do list. And yet I've spent many nights wondering where I fit in and if what I'm doing is where I'm supposed to be.

What better way to figure those things out than to simply to what I love and do that every day? I like to read. Why am I not engaging with other friends who love to read and talking to them about this passion? I love being active. Why am I not going to the classes I love with the people I love? I'm active in philanthropy. Why am I not volunteering with other friends who are just as active?

It seems daunting to immerse yourself in the passions that fuel you but when you realize you're doing these things anyways, it makes it a hell of a lot easier to see where you can incorporate others and expand those passions. Perhaps even create a lifeblood out of passions you never knew could become so?

We aren't the generation our parents lived in. Nobody is really joining clubs or active in their alumni groups but we are invested in the things these circles represent. The modern day equivalent is trivia night, class pass, food festivals, and tailgates.

When you look around, you're already participating in your passions in some way. But if you're still not living life the way you want to, or concerned you're not fitting into the spaces you're currently living in - re-evaluate what makes you feel alive and do that. Change where you're spending your time and when you seek the things that make you happiest, you will in turn fit in and feel confident in where you belong.