Business is a battlefield. It's navigating egos, balancing personalities, and figuring out who you are at work. It's being social with boundaries. It's being strong but not an asshole. It's going above and beyond but not sacrificing your whole life. Work is war, and in war - there's an art to winning.
It took me a really long time to understand the politics of working in an office. I'm a loud, straightforward, strong, and opinionated person. I am loyal, hardworking, and I push the limits. I don't have an off switch and I often speak before thinking. I've absolutely crossed the line in the workplace and I've let myself get in some sticky situations professionally.
Now I'm not saying at the ripe age of 31 I've perfected the Art of War at Work, but I am an established soldier and I've got some insight into how you can avoid mistakes I've made as you navigate this world of adulting.
The War Starts on Day One
The first day you start work is critical. Not to put more pressure on you but day one is setting your strategy for who you plan to be at work. Are you going to be the funny one? The serious one? The friend to everyone? Day one is where your colleagues start to learn about who you are and where you're going to fit into their world. My advice to you - be you, but be a business casual version of you. In other words - don't pretend to be super serious if you're super not serious in your normal life. Find a balance between utilizing your humor but keeping it appropriate (business casual). If you're an overly trusting oversharing type - tone that shit down - but don't try to be cold and aloof. Whoever you are - business it up but don't try to change who you are. That's exhausting and unrealistic and it won't last.
Remember You are Your Own Brand
You are representing your brand at all times. And the brand you build lasts your entire career. When you make choices, act, and engage at work - you're not just showing your colleagues who you are - you're also leaving an impression that extends to their network. And you'd be surprised how far that network extends. Always remember this. Remember it at the Christmas party before you take shots. Remember this before you start sleeping with your colleague. And remember this before you talk poorly about someone to someone else at work. Your brand, your reputation is all you have. Choose to be a brand that others respect and value. Because while you cannot control who likes you or what others may do - you can control you and you can control your brand message. You get one shot at what that message is.
Boundary Setting
Boundaries at work are critical. Boundaries are what keep you in check and help you pause before acting or speaking in a way that crosses the line. Be careful who you trust. Be aware of how you engage with those around you. Be mindful of what you share about your personal life. A rule of thumb I have is if you wouldn't want your boss knowing about it, if you wouldn't say it to your boss, simply don't share it with anyone else. It's ok to trust a select few - some of my closest friends are people I've met at work - but be selective. Take time to get to know these people you spend your time with. It's truly just not possible that each and every person in your office is trustworthy and your best friend. Set boundaries and respect the boundaries of others. It's better to be a bit of a mystery than a completely open book in the workplace.
I'd also like you to keep in mind that work, no matter how casual, no matter the office size, no matter how long you've been there - is a business. And even the most caring and supportive business - is defined by success. It's lifeblood is based in that success. Your company can care about you and value you - but it can also thrive without you - don't make it easy for them to make that decision.
I'll leave you with a few very obvious, yet from my experience, often forgotten rules in The Art of War at Work:
- Don't be the one who drinks too much at work functions
- Don't be the one who dates (or sleeps with) the entire office
- Don't be the one who overshares about everything
- Don't be the one who acts like a cold closed off robot
- Don't be the one who cries a lot
- Don't be the one who has a temper
- Don't be the one who's always making inappropriate jokes
- Don't be the one who is always "on"
- Don't be the one who dresses inappropriately, sloppily, or has hygiene issues
I get that those were all negative things. But they're unfortunately quite common. And I cringe at every single one. At the end of the day - The Art of War at Work is 98% common sense. And learning how to master it - shouldn't be that hard. Be mindful of how you engage at work and the precedence you're setting. If you're excelling at The Art of War - you're most likely creating a better, more positive experience for you and those around you. And that's worth waiting until you get home for that 3rd drink or to make the really crude joke. Trust me - I'm a 4 star general in the Art of War at Work and if I can do it, anyone can.