We all spend a lot of time keeping it from getting awkward. We avoid the weirdness by excusing the behavior of others rather than saying - no actually its not ok. We let people do the shitty things instead of calling them on it. We let companies rip us off rather than fighting for the refund. We get taken advantage of instead of just saying no, I actually can't do that. We focus really hard on not making it really uncomfortable for someone else and then we are left feeling really uncomfortable ourselves. I'm not into that life. Maybe its because I'm secretly 95 at heart or because I'm exhausted from being everything to everyone - but I've decided to make it awkward.
Calm down. I'm not going full blown crazy. I'm not going to be a jerk and I'm not going to take it too far. But I am going to say no, it's not okay that I was overcharged because an employee wasn't trained. It's not okay that my ex was going through a hard time so he treated me poorly. It is unreasonable to expect me to disregard my mental health to make someone else happy. And part of being able to say those things out loud -to those people - means being okay with how they react. A lot of people don't like being put in those awkward situations. They want you to say of course its ok and no problem, I totally understand. And when you tell them otherwise, they don't always respond in kind. Be okay with that response. The point is to make it awkward because its not up to you to forgo your self care to make anyone else happy. And in order to do that - you have to make peace that you're abandoning the peace of being agreeable.
It's not easy to make it awkward. It's often exhausting, uncomfortable and downright unpleasant. But it's also freeing, empowering, and uplifting. When you've spent a lot of time being everything for everyone - putting yourself to the side - it becomes almost status quo. You get used to keeping things comfortable for others. And soon - people decide that's who you are - and they expect it from you at all times. When you decide to make that change - its upsetting for the people who've never known they don't take you into consideration. They can react in the most negative of ways. And that can hurt. It can cause you frustration and pain and doubt. For me, it's a lot more painful, exhausting, and frustrating to keep being everything.
Make it Awkward. Don't excuse the shitty behavior of others simply because it makes them more comfortable. Don't make yourself feel bad for showing them the way in which you deserve to be treated. Learn that its ok to say I can't be everything to everyone anymore, I want to be considered too. You're allowed to change, grow, and want more. Life is for getting uncomfortable and real. Treating others with kindness and consideration includes YOU too.