The Most.

I've always been the definition of extra.  I'm loud, opinionated, bubbly, and I don't come with an off switch.  And for a really long time in life, I felt ashamed because people often called me too much.

I spent a very long time trying to tone down who I am to make others comfortable.  But it turns out, I can't be toned down.  And forever and always, I was born to sparkle.  

We all spend a good majority of our lives trying to figure out who we are and come to terms with all that means.  From a very young age, I knew I was this vivacious spirit.  But because a lot of other people told me that wasn't the right way to be, I believed them and tried to downplay who I am.

Today, I know that for a lot of people I may be a whole lot to handle.  It takes a lot of energy to engage with me.  But I'm also a lot of fun, a lot of joy, and one incredible human being.  I like to think I bring a lot to the table with my need to do the most.  I won’t apologize or feel shame for being a whole lot to handle because I am wholeheartedly a lot to love.

Life is really hard.  We've got jobs and bills and health and family and relationships - there's a lot to do and balance.  Do yourself a favor and figure out who you are at your core as soon as you possibly can and just own whoever that is.  And don't let anyone tell you there's anything wrong with whoever you decide that is.  

Networking

I know what you're thinking and I apologize.  I know you've been waiting for business advice from me and I'm sorry its taken me so long.  Today, we are starting with networking.

Networking scares a lot of people.  They worry about how to approach strangers, what to talk about and why its important.  And while I understand the fear behind the experience, I love networking. 

It's all in how you look at networking.  Take business out of it.  Remove the formality.  Networking at its most basic form is relationship building.  When you realize that there's no special way to act or perfect thing to say - a lot of the pressure is taken away from the situation. 

Ashley's Steps to Networking Success:

• Be Authentic: In business I believe being authentic is the best way to build real, long lasting relationships.  Don't fake interest, don't ask a question without listening to the answer, don't pretend to be someone you're not.  You don't have to remember anything if you stick to who you are and speak the truth.
• Actively Listen: Take an interest in what people tell you.  Learn the quirks that make people different and what drives them to succeed.  Try to remember small details about people you meet and utilize them in future interactions.  Be honestly interested and engaged.  Most people can tell when you aren't listening and don't care.  It's bullshit and it's a huge turnoff.
• Always Be On: I don't mean this how traditional businessmen mean this.  I mean realize every situation is an opportunity to network.  Every happy hour, sporting event, dinner with friends is an opportunity to meet new people and build new relationships.  So continue to be your best brand.  Be you at all times and you won't ever have to worry about acting in a way that keeps you from building an important relationship.
• Put in the Effort: Realize that if you only keep in touch with people when you need something - you'll lose a lot of contacts.  You don't need to be friends with everyone but you do need to put the effort in to keep in touch with your contacts.  Shoot a quick check in email, send a birthday card, engage on LinkedIn.  Keep the relationship going and don't be the person that only reaches out when they need something.
• Be a Mentor: As you grow and become seasoned in your field, be a mentor.  Help the next generation to succeed without expecting anything in return.  I continue to mentor some of my past student workers to this day and seeing them succeed, helping in any way I can - is the most rewarding thing I've ever done.  These kids are going to change the world, and if I can help guide them, that's the best thing I'll ever achieve. 
• Ask for What You Want: Need a reference?  Looking for a mentor?  ASK.  Building a relationship is about reading cues and creating a long term engagement plan.  If you've met someone who you would love to learn from, tell them that.  Figure out a way to make it work for their schedule and your needs.  Applying for a new job and need a good reference?  Look to the people around you that you have spent the most time with and who believe in your work.  The point is - if you don't ask for it - you won't get it.

The most important thing to remember about networking is that it's not limited to an event.  It's not something you learn to turn on and off.  Networking is not what it used to be.  It's not name tags and awkward happy hours.  It's who you sit next to on the bus.  It's the guy you meet while getting your hair cut.  It's everywhere and its all times of day.  It truly never stops.  And while that can be daunting - don't let it be.  Focus on your brand, being authentic to that brand and commit yourself to realizing networking is simply engaging with people in a real way.  Networking is opportunity and opportunity is everywhere.