They Let Me Be a Mentor

I'm uncertain if they actually let me be a mentor.  I don't get paid to do it.  I just pick my favorite little sequins and I give them career advice.  Whether they like it or not.  So realistically nobody lets me be a mentor, I just am one.

Regardless of how I got here - I'm here.  I've got my flock of little future world leaders and I spend some of my free time imparting my wisdom upon their fresh little minds.  I still kind of feel like an imposter giving business advice to anyone - but I also oddly buy into my own product.  I've had this crazy nontraditional journey that I'm sure isn't over - and I love that I can provide insight into achieving your dreams without having to follow the rules.

That being said - I'm really picky about who I gift my wisdom to.  I place high value on my brand and so if you're associated with me and my brand - you've got to measure up.  I'm happy to gift 30 minutes of my time to speak to someone about the industry and briefly offer some advice - but should I invest anymore time than that - I've got to believe in who you are and where you're headed.  If I'm adopting you as my little sequin of the future -I'm committing time and energy and resources into helping you succeed - so you've got to earn that trust and investment.

Mentorship is important to me.  The people I bring into my business world are important to me.  It gives me a lot of fulfillment to be able to build these sequins up and encourage them to be their best selves, follow their dreams, and never settle.  And although a lot of them tell me they can't get where they are without me - I can't grow without them.  They motivate me to work hard, keep my passions first, and that I can have it all.  They also remind me of where I came from.  They remind me to never forget what I've been through and where I'm going.  They continue to inspire me and teach me as much as I teach them. 

If you're not a mentor, become one.  If you don't have a mentor, get one.  But be picky.  The mentor/mentee relationship is sacred.  It's trusting your goals, dreams, insecurities, past, present, and future - with someone who you should aim to build a lifelong relationship with.  And its not a way to get ahead.  It's not a connection you use to get somewhere.  It's a bond that is supposed to grow who you are as a person in business and in life.  It's not to be taken lightly and if you do it right, it can change your life.

Networking

I know what you're thinking and I apologize.  I know you've been waiting for business advice from me and I'm sorry its taken me so long.  Today, we are starting with networking.

Networking scares a lot of people.  They worry about how to approach strangers, what to talk about and why its important.  And while I understand the fear behind the experience, I love networking. 

It's all in how you look at networking.  Take business out of it.  Remove the formality.  Networking at its most basic form is relationship building.  When you realize that there's no special way to act or perfect thing to say - a lot of the pressure is taken away from the situation. 

Ashley's Steps to Networking Success:

• Be Authentic: In business I believe being authentic is the best way to build real, long lasting relationships.  Don't fake interest, don't ask a question without listening to the answer, don't pretend to be someone you're not.  You don't have to remember anything if you stick to who you are and speak the truth.
• Actively Listen: Take an interest in what people tell you.  Learn the quirks that make people different and what drives them to succeed.  Try to remember small details about people you meet and utilize them in future interactions.  Be honestly interested and engaged.  Most people can tell when you aren't listening and don't care.  It's bullshit and it's a huge turnoff.
• Always Be On: I don't mean this how traditional businessmen mean this.  I mean realize every situation is an opportunity to network.  Every happy hour, sporting event, dinner with friends is an opportunity to meet new people and build new relationships.  So continue to be your best brand.  Be you at all times and you won't ever have to worry about acting in a way that keeps you from building an important relationship.
• Put in the Effort: Realize that if you only keep in touch with people when you need something - you'll lose a lot of contacts.  You don't need to be friends with everyone but you do need to put the effort in to keep in touch with your contacts.  Shoot a quick check in email, send a birthday card, engage on LinkedIn.  Keep the relationship going and don't be the person that only reaches out when they need something.
• Be a Mentor: As you grow and become seasoned in your field, be a mentor.  Help the next generation to succeed without expecting anything in return.  I continue to mentor some of my past student workers to this day and seeing them succeed, helping in any way I can - is the most rewarding thing I've ever done.  These kids are going to change the world, and if I can help guide them, that's the best thing I'll ever achieve. 
• Ask for What You Want: Need a reference?  Looking for a mentor?  ASK.  Building a relationship is about reading cues and creating a long term engagement plan.  If you've met someone who you would love to learn from, tell them that.  Figure out a way to make it work for their schedule and your needs.  Applying for a new job and need a good reference?  Look to the people around you that you have spent the most time with and who believe in your work.  The point is - if you don't ask for it - you won't get it.

The most important thing to remember about networking is that it's not limited to an event.  It's not something you learn to turn on and off.  Networking is not what it used to be.  It's not name tags and awkward happy hours.  It's who you sit next to on the bus.  It's the guy you meet while getting your hair cut.  It's everywhere and its all times of day.  It truly never stops.  And while that can be daunting - don't let it be.  Focus on your brand, being authentic to that brand and commit yourself to realizing networking is simply engaging with people in a real way.  Networking is opportunity and opportunity is everywhere.