I'm not sure if it's because I'm in a good place but I seem to feel as if everyone around me has a whole lot to whine about. Whether they're too busy, hate their job, their partner isn't hearing them, they're feeling bad about themselves, they can't get over a relationship, the list goes on and the complaints are never ending.
For me, there's an acceptable level of whining in life. And there are rules around what's acceptable to complain about in the first place.
And a majority of the things people are whining about are not on the acceptable list. They've also exceeded the allotted time allowed for whining.
If you've created a problem for yourself. If you're refusing to accept a situation for what it is. If you're unwilling to make a change - shut up. Stop whining.
While I may seem harsh (It's because I am), the point is, as an adult, you owe it to yourself and those around you to be better. Stop complaining and start actively being a participant in the success of your life.
I don't know if as a culture we've become extra sensitive or we feel the need to constantly evaluate our feelings but I promise you, you're just fine. You're having a hard time because you've created a hard time. You can't get out of the rut because all you do is exist in the rut.
I'm so sick of people who just whine.
I am always here to support you as a friend but if the root of your problem is you, I'm going to tell you. As your friend, I owe you the truth so that you can grow and become your best you.
I am not the friend you go to if you want the lie. I won't tell you I'm sorry life is being so unfair to you. I'm not going to commiserate with you about things that are within your control. It's insulting to me, you, and life.
Lately I've been so overwhelmed and frustrated with the drama that others have tried to bring into my world by their constant negativity and self centered complaining. And what I realized is that if I'm choosing to engage in that, I'm creating the negative situation for myself. So I spoke up.
I started saying yes, it is you. I'm sorry you feel this way but you're putting yourself in this situation. I hate that you're unhappy but you're not doing anything to make yourself happy. It's awful you're in a job you hate but I haven't seen you put the effort in to get a new one.
And I have not stopped.
Sure - it's caused some awkwardness and tension in the friendship. I've gone radio silent with a couple people because they're still not in a place to get it.
I deserve attention and support too. And I deserve a friend who wants to make it about me too. And I want to surround myself with people who value growth, who don't settle for thinking life owes them anything.
I'm going to be honest again - I've been there. I've complained and asked why me when the why IS me. I've been the root of my own problem. And I probably will have moments like that again. However, for the most part, I'm a woman of action.
I don't like my job? I get a new one. I hate where I've moved? I move again. I'm in a bad relationship? I end it.
Surely that's not easy. And it's often a process.
But stop with the "I could never do that." or "That's so cold." It's not. You're making excuses because you haven't found the courage to take action.
If you're not in a place to move on from the whining and complaining, do you. But just you. Don't poison anyone else by bringing that choice into their world. Be responsible for your own situation and respect the people you love by not burdening them with your drama. Harsh much? Yes. Because being a grown up is being accountable for who you are to the people you love.
Life gets better when you make the active choice to be a participant in the way it goes. And you're a better teammate when you take responsibility for how you engage with the team. Are you in it for the win or are you okay sitting in the bench with a participation trophy?