The Measure of Success

Growing up I always associated success with winning. Being the best. Having the most. I thought success was titles and money and being a champion.

I realized the other day just how much my measure of success has changed.

Money matters to me. I like having a comfortable life. I like upgraded amenities and the ability to travel whenever I want.

I like titles. I love the reward that comes with working hard and being promoted. I enjoy the respect that comes with getting to the next level.

I also don’t need those things to consider myself a success. I don’t need them in excess to show that I have made something of myself.

I think I’ve survived a lot of adversity. The fact that I’ve chosen to commit to overcoming that makes me a success.

That I’ve worked my ass off and now work at one of the world’s most recognizable companies is a success. I never gave up and I never settled.

Success to me is emotional health. It’s financial comfort. It’s mental wellness. Success is love for myself.

Success of my past was entirely related to my career. It was climbing the ladder and never stopping.

Success of my future is joy. It’s confidence. It’s love. I

I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t also driven by my career, but it is not the whole sum of what success looks like.

What does success look like for you?

Security

For the first time in my adult life, I feel financially secure. Let’s get real about what I mean here. I spent a lot of time working in roles that didn’t pay well. A lot of which groceries do I have to buy and where can I eat Top Ramen? A lot of ok if I pay my rent, I can’t go to the bars with friends this weekend. That’s what I mean by times I wasn’t financially secure. I’ve always paid my bills, I’ve never experienced abject poverty. I am lucky.

But there is something to be said for money buying happiness. I get it, money doesn’t solve all our problems, but having it certainly doesn’t hurt. My life is less stressful because I can pay my bills and travel the world. I can go on a shopping spree and it’s not going to throw me off balance. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders because I don’t have to worry what I’ll do if something needs to be done for my car. Money has bought me some sort of happiness by removing some of the stresses I used to have when I didn’t have any.

Money controls a lot of our culture these days. In every aspect of pop culture, money is king. Our generation is weirdly about excess and minimalism. I’m even confused about it all. But what I’ve found is that the more I have money, the more I want to save. Oddly having financial security has motivated me to lean more towards minimalism because I prefer to spend on experiences and save the rest.

I’m also more humble and appreciative of the journey I’ve been on financially because I never thought I’d get to this point. I honestly remember feeling like I was drowning and would forever be living counting every last penny to survive.

What’s the point of this not quite sob/not quite humble brag story? Not too sure in all honesty, it’s more of a revelation I had and wanted to share in all this noise about money not being able to buy happiness.

I sort of wanted to speak to the idea that a lot of people - usually people well off, like to say money can’t buy happiness. Truth is, I think in a way it very much can. It can buy you less stress. It can buy you security. It can buy you food. Health.

Bottom line, as we talk about finances and money in our culture and in social as well as political settings, I think being mindful of socioeconomic status is critical. Money can buy happiness. And sometimes, its not even a lot of money needed to do so.

Rather than a lesson, I’d like to say this should lead to some reflection and discussion around money, happiness, and the way in which we look at the connection between the two.

What do you think? Can money buy happiness?

Defining Success

America is a country that values success.  We put the American dream above all else.  But what does success mean?  How is success defined?  Traditionally, success often correlates to money.  To having status because you've leveled up to millionaire.  We are a culture that values things more than we value anything else.  We are a culture obsessed with the Kardashians, flashy cars, fancy jewels, and oversized homes.  And just when you think you've made it - someone else comes along and shows you haven't quite got enough. 

Having grown up in a wealthy suburban California town - I understand that success and money go hand in hand.  I always dreamed of the day I would become wealthy and be able to not only buy whatever I wanted, but to support my parents as they got older too.  I love all the things.  The shoes, the shiny jewels, the fancy cars - I enjoy getting my hair and nails done - and I live for traveling.  But I also started my career in an industry that traditionally doesn't pay well.  Like living off top ramen and paying for gas with change not well.  Certainly as I've elevated my career I've elevated my paycheck - but I'm 31 and I am not millionaire. 

By American standards, and by the standards of my country club town - I am not successful.  That's caused me to stop and think.  To reevaluate what success means to me.  Because although I'm not a millionaire (yet), I am not a failure.  I've built a career that I can be proud of.  I've continued to climb the ladder, I've become a mentor to others, and I've set myself up to run my own business one day - and that's certainly not failing.

I've also come to think of success as not strictly related to business.  The most successful people are the people that understand work does not define you.  When I first started out in my career until very recently - I prioritized work over everything.  Even over my health.  Eventually I decided my health, my family, and my friends were more important.  I didn't want to miss the special occasions, I didn't want to be sick and tired all the time - I wanted balance.  And finding a balance between a thriving career and a thriving personal life is success at the highest level. 

Ultimately success means having a strong healthy relationship with myself and others, continuing to grow in my career, and being fiscally stable.  It's being able to recognize that I will forever be a work in progress and that what makes me the most successful is who I am to myself and to the people most important to me.  Money is incredible.  Money affords some amazing opportunities - but money doesn't define success.  I know a lot of really wealthy people who are utter failures at being decent human beings.  And I know people who barely survive and would still give you their last dollar. 

Take time to define what success means to you.  And then throughout the year evaluate where you're at in relation to your definition of success.  Personally - I don't care how much money you have in your bank account if you can't be bothered to be a good person.  In my world, success is joy, its passion, its overcoming adversity, its helping others, its so much more than a dollar figure. 

What does success mean to you?