Science.

I'd like to throw you for a loop.  I'm a romantic.

I know right - you really were not expecting that one.  Neither was I.  But here we are.  Therapeutic breakthrough.

Maybe I should clarify, I'm a realistic romantic.  Like I'm not moving across the country for love without some sound lists and research, but I'll fight fiercely when I believe in a relationship.

Which brings me to my point.   Science.  Chemistry to be exact.  

Chemistry, real chemistry with another human being is rare.  I'd like to define it as undefinable.  A spark, a fire, a feeling you can't ignore.  I can count on one hand how many times I've had real chemistry with someone.  And I'm hoping it stays that way.

Science.  I like that chemistry is a scientific principle.  Practical me enjoys that there's a realistic basis for the draw I feel.  Romantic me, she's into the spicy feels that encompasses.  The unexplainable pull I have for whatever reason.  

Ya'll chemistry.  I am for all of the chemistry.  Chemistry cannot be forced.  And it's not easy to ignore.  You can lie to yourself about it, you can pretend it's not there - but it's going to find you. 

Unfortunately - chemistry is not always what dictates your person.  It certainly cannot sustain an entire relationship.  But without real chemistry, I don't believe a relationship is worth giving your energies too.  

Timing can keep everyone apart.  Fear can keep everyone from being honest.

There are a lot of outside entities that keep people apart.  But the romantic in me hopes that when you find real chemistry, you give it a shot.  Whether that means telling that person how you feel, owning the emotions within yourself, or going all in - do yourself a favor, and give science a shot.  

The Birds and the Bees and the Me's

Sex is a very personal thing.  And yet these days, it seems to be at the forefront of conversation, in the media, and in pop culture.  You might be surprised to learn that I'm a bit old fashioned in that I believe a person's sex life is theirs to dictate and discuss.

As a woman, we navigate a really tricky world when it comes to our sex lives.  There are expectations and judgments, assumptions and attitudes. They're all ridiculous.  

A few weeks ago, a man asked me what the rule was for women as far as when we have sex with new partners.  

A week ago an acquaintance mentioned I didn't seem like the kind of girl who would sleep with a man I wasn't seriously dating.

Yesterday, a friend I've known for years told me I had vastly changed my views on sexual relationships throughout the time they've known me.

The truth?  There are no rules for when women can have sex with anyone.  I am the kind of girl, who will make whatever decision she pleases with her own body, and as I've grown and changed, my views on my personal sexual choices have absolutely changed.

Part of being a woman who believes in equality is that I believe every woman has the right to make her own decisions about her sex life - free of judgment from anyone - as long as she is safe and she is doing things that make her happy.  It is absolutely nobody else's business what any of us want to do as long as we are not hurting anyone else.

Stop utilizing labels, passing judgment, feeling like you have the right to anyone's sex life - you don't.  

Do not tell a woman she is the type of girl to do anything - do not assume she is the type of woman to be anything.  

You are allowed to determine your own opinions and decisions with your body and who you allow into your romantic life because of those decisions -but you do not get to decide that for anyone else.