FunEmployment

In May I left a really toxic environment (at a wonderful company, wrong team). Instead of immediately focusing on my job search, I took a break. Now 6 months in I’ve learned a whole lot.

I can finally say that work doesn’t define me. It’s a great thing that can certainly fullfill me, but the real purpose of it is to pay bills and book flights.

I will always work hard, be type A and value having a reputation as someone who is one of tne best at what they do, but my work will no longer be my primary focus. It does not define me. In fact, it’s the least interesting thing about me.

That’s a HUGE shift for me. While I’ve worked to find balance, I’ve still very much allowed work to be 80% of who I am and where I spend my energy. It’s controlled my moods, controlled what I think about myself and truly been what I’m self concious about.

No more.

6 months of travel, therapy, not working — I’m a new sequin, and I love it.

It’s completely foreign to me to be at a “career low” and yet be the most confident, fullfilled and happy version of myself I’ve ever been. I am setting boundaries, living for the moment, speaking about my feelings, doing the work assigned at therapy and investing in people who make me feel wonderful while stepping away from those who don’t. I am genuinely so proud and happy of the woman that I am.

I know at the end of the day, I’ll find the next thing. I will bet on me every single time. And I won’t lie, it’s stressful looking for a job in a market full of layoffs and a looming recession. I am not an heiress (RUDE) so I’ll need a job soon. I have my breakdowns and stress about that. I’m human. But I will be ok. I will come out of this thriving.

In the meantime, I’m working really hard to keep the old me back and the new me forward. I’m focused on putting in the work on my growth and maturity and investing in experiences.

Funemployment for me has been an incredible time of work & play. I’ve left the country twice, traveled in our own country countless times and I’m taking time to build on who I am without work. It’s been a gift to truly force myself to be whole without a job - because I don’t have one!

I hope that when I do start work again, I remember this time and stay focused on the growth. I hope I keep this same main character energy and ensure work stays secondary.

Whatever comes next, this time has been a gift and an incredible opportunity to become a better me. And at the end of the day, that’s the goal. Be the best version of myself possible.

Full Circle

Until the age of 26, I spent my entire life in California. I left California for Colorado without knowing a soul. That life changing decision sent me on a journey that would take me to three other states and back to California a couple times. It also empowered me to grow and develop into the confident and independent woman I am today.

I also fell in love with Colorado.

Ever since I left, I have wanted to come back. The mountains, the snow, the sunshine, the sports, the food — Colorado has it all. It’s also affordable. The pace of life is a little slower. And the people are really open and kind to each other. Denver specifically has been my happy place for 5+ years now.

2020 has been a tough journey. I know that I’ve said that about a few years in my life and I know that 2020 has been a tough journey for a lot of people. I didn’t talk a lot about my own struggles because compared to so many, I am beyond lucky.

2020 also brought me everything I’ve been talking about and dreaming of for years. And it feels surreal. I haven’t shared much with those outside of my close circle. It feels unnecessaery to flaunt when so many are suffering. (I am also really enjoying keeping more things to myself these days — to celebrate with the people who are really part of my journey but more of that to come in another blog…).

I am also so proud of myself. I have continued to work hard, be a good human, and manifest good for myself and others.

I am most importantly beyond grateful. I feel so lucky that after the year 2020 has given us, I ended it with complete joy.

All of this to say — I hope you are brave enough to make big decisions and to do things that scare you. I hope you accept the good things that come your way. I hope you don’t give up when things are hard. I hope you continue to work hard and be humble. I hope you continue to be kind. I hope you believe in yourself.

Hard times will come again. Nothing is perfect. But the more I live — the more I believe in the full circle. That the highs and lows rotate, but the better human you are, the harder you work — the higher those highs can be.

For now, I am going to be grateful, I am going to be proud and I am going to enjoy the gitft I have been given. I’m going to soak every last moment in.

See you soon Colorado — things are about to get a whole lot sparklier!