My anxiety has finally caught up with me and I’m a bit of a mess. Nothing wild, I haven’t made any questionable decisions, it’s been more of just an overall feeling of being tense that I can’t seem to shake.
And I honestly couldn’t figure out why.
Well let’s think. In the last 6 months (while we’ve still been in a pandemic) I have moved states, gotten a new (very busy) job, and moved in with my parents while I buy my first home.
Whew. That’s exhausting to read about. And I’ve been living it without stopping to consider that’s a whole lot of change in a year full of change.
I need to cut myself a break.
And I need to prioritize whatever I need to do in order to actually make that happen.
What I find when I get this way, which in all honestly, I rarely feel this anxious this consistently — but when I do, it causes me to be really hard on myself in every way. I think it’s an attempt to get some control back.
Lately I’m more insecure, meaner to myself, and pull away from people more.
I don’t actually have a healthy solution here. I don’t have the answers. It’s more to say I’m in this place and I’m trying to find my way back but I’m not there yet.
Sometimes I think that’s huge in and of itself. When you recognize where you are, what’s causing it, and that it’s not great - that can be a really big step.
I love that we are talking about mental health more, but I wish more people spoke up when they don’t have an answer. When it’s jsut a hard time you need to work your way through.
Don’t feel bad for just knowing something is wrong but not knowing how to fix it. For a lot of people, figuring out there’s a problem is the biggest step you can take.