Emotional Support Human

One of the toughest parts of having anxiety can be the countless times you feel alone. It’s hearing someone tell you you’re dramatic. It’s listening to loved ones tell you it’s not a big deal. It’s having very intense emotions escalated more by the reactions of people who just don’t understand.

I am one of many who have an emotional support animal (ESA). And I have him for the purpose of supporting me when I am overwhelmed by my anxiety. He’s the best distraction and teammate I could ask for. But as much as he helps me, he can’t talk. He can’t relate. A snuggle and a smile are all I’m getting. Dogs are better than humans, but having an emotional support human, that’s a pretty important part of suffering from mental illnesses.

A close friend of mine also suffers from anxiety. She’s a very strong sounding board for me and someone who often is the only one who understands the emotions I’m experiencing. She’s also known me for 20+ years so she’s pretty in tune with who I am. I have now decided that she is my emotional support human.

Obviously an emotional support human is not a thing. But here I am, making waves. An emotional support human for me is someone outside of my standard toolbox of things I use to combat anxiety. I’ve got medication, a therapist, a psychiatrist, an ESA - I’m doing all of the practical things to manage my anxiety. The emotional support human is my person who helps talk me through my anxiety and emotions as someone who gets it. They’ve been through a lot of the experiences I’ve been through and they’re able to relate to the crazy things I often feel.

As with anything, my disclaimer is that you cannot solely rely on an emotional support human to solve your problems. They aren’t a doctor or even an expert. They’re likely just a friend who gets it. Huge fan though of someone who just gets it when the biggest struggle for me as someone living with anxiety is that not a lot of people get it. It’s trendy to have anxiety but very few people actually suffer from it. Sincerely, if you don’t really truly have anxiety, please stop saying you do. It’s like telling people you have a disease when you really don’t.

Human connections matter. They are literally necessary to survival. Feeling like you relate, belong and matter are so important to mental health and thriving in the world. Find the people who get you, support you, and allow you to continue to grow and live your best lives.

Full Transparency

Emotional support animals have been in the news a lot lately.  From peacocks to puppies - everyone seems to have some kind of ESA - myself included.  

A lot of people have ESA's to be able to fly with their dog for free, avoid pet rent and deposits, and to be able to make it easier to take your pet with you anywhere you please.  And for those of us who aren't simply trying to save money - Id like to send a resounding FU to the fakes.

I have anxiety.  For the most part a lot of my issues are when I don't have control in a situation.  That comes from having been through traumas in which I had absolutely no control.  One of the biggest areas my anxiety presents itself is when I fly.  

Thankfully, the more and more I fly, the more at ease I get about it - but I still get sweaty, anxious, heart racing fear every time I board a flight.  I adopted my little boy Nashville almost 3 years ago.  I had never intended to make him an ESA but a therapist suggested I look into it.

Now full transparency, ESAs don't have as many rights as service dogs, and I think that makes sense.  I do hope one day we can allow for ESA's to be at the level of service dogs for mental health.  For now, I hope that we will take the process more seriously than we do now.  

Back to me.  I eventually was able to get a note from my psychiatrist to have Nash fly with me and live with me free of charge.  On the airplane, he is able to sit in my lap.  For the most part, he sleeps.  He has no real skill except he provides something for me to pet and cuddle, which in turn relaxes me.  

Here's the thing - could I fly without my dog?  Yes.  Do I need him to survive my everyday life?  I don't.  But he does greatly ease some of the symptoms of my often severe anxiety.  And that makes my quality of life better.  And I deserve that.  

Seeing people simply get a note from a doctor to make their pet an ESA because they're avoiding paying a fee - that makes me angry.   It makes it harder for my situation to be taken seriously.  It makes it harder for someone who is worse off than myself to be taken seriously.  And it's bullshit.

Full transparency - you're an asshole if this is you and I absolutely believe that this should carry legal repercussions.   Full transparency, mental illness - in its many forms - in people who truly suffer from it - is crippling.  People who truly suffer from it, we don't think it's a cool trend.  We don't think it's a fun label to carry.  Most often, we don't even want to talk about it. We don't want to stand out because of it.

You wouldn't park in a handicap spot if you're not handicap would you?  Don't get yourself a cute puppy you want to travel with if you can't afford to pay the cost.  Mental health is a very serious issue that creates a lot of the problems in our world.  For those of us working hard every second of every day to just "be normal," all we want is to exist with as little attention as possible.  Don't make it harder because you'd like to make your life easier.

Full transparency, be a better person.