I read a blog recently about a woman who went through a really hard time in her life. She was at a standstill. Her entire world had been shattered and it seemed impossible to go back to her everyday reality. So she quit her job. She packed up her life. And she decided to travel the world. The plan? To keep doing what makes her happy RIGHT NOW.
She decided to stop worrying about the burden of the future and take things one single moment at a time. To focus on what made her happy in the moment. And as she continued to do what made her happy, rather than worry about the incredible anxiety that comes with planning out the next forever - she slowly relaxed. And she was actually happy.
I relate to living a life of planning, of control - of the strategy leading up to the happy ending. But what I've missed is that there's no happy ending. Life ends. The journey is what is meant to be enjoyed. You can strategize all you want - but none of us are getting out alive. Is it really worth spending 50-60+ years working for the happy when you could just be happy now?
So here's what we're going to do - because I'm going to need a team to get me out of my head and into my heart - we are going to work on happy now. We are going to worry just a little bit less about tomorrow and the next day and the 10 years from now. And we are going to be realistic - because after all - I may be open to impulse - I am not open to becoming an outright hippie. It's just not who I am.
Step One - Start Small
I've spent 31 years as a control freak. And although I've been working to change that - it's hard to change a stubborn woman like me. So wee start small. If I want to take a nap instead of clean, I'm going to take the nap. If I want a mini cupcake instead of yogurt for a snack, I'm going to eat the cupcake. If binge watching a TV show I've missed will make me happy, catch me on the couch. And if I want to go for a walk in the middle of my workday, I'm going to do that too. The point - maybe you can't quit your job and travel the world right now - but you can engage in small activities that will boost your mood and elevate your happiness until you can get there.
Step Two - Decide what happy means to you
The more you listen to your heart and what makes it smile - the more you'll start to realize what makes you really happy. Because now that you're taking a moment to get in touch with your level of happiness - you're making yourself more aware of what really does fill your soul. Start to write that down. Rate things based on level of enjoyment. Become acutely aware of what happy means to you and start channeling your focus in those areas to really maximize instant happy.
Step Three - Think Bigger
Once you become an expert in your own happiness, find a way to turn the little happiness into big happiness. Get strategic. Make everything happy. Realize that when you're not happy, or doing something that doesn't bring you joy - you can check yourself and engage in a way that makes the moment happier. Not everything is going to make us happy - but when we are more aware of what does - we are more easily able to get back to happy more quickly. Additionally, say travel is what makes you happiest - turn those lunchtime walks to weekend trips. And those weekend trips into week long adventures. Turn your small moments into big ones. Instead of buying things - walk on the beach, hike a mountain - you're mixing instant happy with saving money for long term happy.
Life isn't about planning a happy ending, it's about making every single day happy. We can't control what happens to us and we cannot control anyone else. But we can be active participants in our own joy. We can change our attitude and change our entire life with how we choose to live it. I've always believed that happiness is a controllable. It's a choice. And if its what you value - you'll make it a priority. Not tomorrow, not for the future, but NOW - and for the rest of your life.