Spooky Szn

I thrive in the ‘ber months. Absolutely live in the most basic joyful way I possibly can. And October is the Super Bowl of the ‘ber months for me. It’s spooky season y’all! And I live laugh love for all that means. I want to watch the Disney greats, I want to craft to my heart’s content, I want to wear cozy sweaters and step on crunchy leaves. I’d like to hike and see every freaking color Colorado has to offer, have girl’s nights with takeout and blankets and read while it rains. Give me all of it. I’d love to share with you some of my October joys this season!

What I’m buying:

Rhinestone Pumpkins (mini pumpkins from Trader Joe’s and stick on rhinestones), DIY Bat Candles, Fall floral arrangements (buy various flowers from Trader Joe’s)

What I’m doing:

Hikes, Crunchy leaf walks, reading, cooking, girl’s craft nights, backyard movie nights, visiting apple farms, checking out glow at the botanical gardens and boo at the zoo, snuggling on the couch with movies

How are y’all thriving in October?

Summer Adventures 2022

After three years, I finally made it back to Europe! This trip was two weeks and started in Croatia, led to Paris, and ended in the Champagne region of France! It was absolutely incredible to get back to Europe and experience new cultures.

We also left the day Roe was overturned, so it was honestly a really emotional time and I was happy (and privileged) to leave the country. The state of America also came up quite a bit while we were abroad and I tried my best to answer questions thoughtfully as well as listen to the concerns of others about the United States. What does this have to do with travel tips? EVERYTHING. Travel is a privilege. Experiencing other cultures, meeting people who live life so differently than I do is WHY I do this. The more you can travel and experience other cultures, the more empathy and compassion you have for others. I am beyond lucky to get to do this. It matters to me to come back better for it (and to be a good human while I’m there). You are a GUEST, act like it.

Let’s talk some brief general travel tips!

Planning

I’m a planner for work and by nature. If I’m spending the money and time to fly across the world, I’m doing it right. We usually start planning about 6 months in advance. This allows us a better chance at finding reasonable flights, places to stay and get reservations at the restaurants we want to go to. Especially in a post Covid world (LOL, post covid…right!) where gas is expensive, everyone is traveling and others are planning up to a year in advance, having your shit together matters. Sure, you can wing it, but I know the things I want to see and do and I’m not willing to miss them, so I don’t take that chance.

Flights

  • Fly the airlines you have status with if you can. It might be a tad more expensive, but it’s worth it in the long run

  • Skyscanner is a great resource if you’re flexible and able to do some research

  • The Points Guy gives awesome tips/tricks/reviews for flying abroad

  • If you only have enough money to upgrade one way, upgrade your flight home. That’s when you’re more likely to be exhausted and ready to get home in comfort.

  • If you can’t afford to upgrade from economy at all, find the rows that don’t have anyone in front of you and snag the aisle seat (this is why you book in advance, get the best seats!)

  • Fly in the morning if you can, morning flights are less likely to be canceled and usually on time. Before 10AM is morning

Accommodations

  • I don’t stay in Air Bnb’s in the US, they’re usually where all the issues you’re seeing in the news occur

  • Air BnB’s abroad are fine but I look for folks with 4.8 stars or more and are super hosts or I don’t consider it. Read the reviews!

  • I'‘m a Marriott rewards member who saves their points. We were able to stay 3 nights free at a stunning resort in Dubrovnik (ocean view balcony room!) because of that. Use. Your. Points.

  • Stay places that provide you walk able access to the city you’re staying in.

Restaurants

  • Now that restaurants are open again, they book fast! Make reservations for every dinner. We even made some breakfast reservations and I’m glad we did

  • Do your research. Ask friends, check TripAdvisor, browse the blogger sites. The best restaurants book fast. And I’m not just talking the high end ones.

  • Be specific in your reservation. Ask for a table outdoors, with a view and then tip well when you get it

Activities

  • I love tours. I love boat tours, tours to National Parks, wine tours, all the things! Book them early and be strategic. Leave time between tour days for wandering the city or lounging on the beach

  • TripAdvisor has awesome tours with reviews and you know you’re booking with a reliable company

  • Read the reviews! Make sure they talk about locals running these tours so you’re getting really awesome info and the best experience possible

  • Bring cash to tip. I cannot emphasize this enough. Do not be the jerk who doesn’t tip!

Summer 2022 Trip Details

Croatia

Some basics:

  • Croatia is SO inexpensive. It will be on the Euro soon though so that won’t last long!

  • Dubrovnik was by far my favorite city. It felt more idyllic, clean and historic! Split felt really dirty, crowded, and touristy

Dubrovnik

Where we Stayed: Sheraton Dubrovnik (used points, we had a Twin sea view)

  • This property was 15 minutes by car from town, so it wasn’t walk able but it was less touristy, stunning and we were able to walk around some smaller villages that were clearly local. It was absolutely perfect to be able to easily access other areas of the city quickly and then retreat back to our quiet resort after

  • Splurge for the sea view, it’s stunning

  • The spa is WAY less expensive than in the US. I paid $90 for an hour and a half massage and it was easily the best massage of my life

Where we ate: Restaurant Marinero, Panorama Restaurant, Orsan at the Yacht Club, Konoba Bocana

  • Everywhere we ate was incredible. Not a bad meal.

  • Panorama has the best views ever, take the cable car and go for brunch EARLY. Get the first reservation you can and go enjoy coffee and a meal for hours

What we did: Pool day, spa day, Old Town exploring day! We tried to rent a small boat for the day by the hotel but didn’t reserve in advance so we lost out!

Split

Where we Stayed: This Air BnB. Highly recommend! It was walking distance to everything but wasn’t IN old town where it’s loud. HUGE size and the host was wonderful.

  • Don’t stay in the city center, it’s more expensive and super loud/chaotic

  • Everything is walk-able from where we stayed

  • If you’re there in later summer, ensure your place has AC or it’s unbearable!

Where we ate: Dvor (Michelin Star), Portofino, Bajamonti, Ma Toni, Kat’s Kitchen, Ciri Biri Bella (also a hostel if that’s your vibe!)

  • The best and cutest breakfast place was Ciri Biri Bella (we ate there twice!)

  • Dvor was amazing, great views, amazing staff but they were out of quite a few menu items when we went, so the experience wasn’t as good as it could have been

  • Portofino is the cutest little spot in between two buildings and was SUCH a romantic little setting

What we did: Plitvice Lake Tour, Speedboat Tour, Gooster Beach Club

  • Full transparency, if we didn’t have such fun excursions planned, we would have left Split early. It was not an interesting city for us at all

  • Plitvices has been on my bucket lit forever so I was beyond happy we did this. it is a LONG day so if it’s not on your bucket list and you don’t like walking or nature, it’s not for you!

  • The boat tour was hands down the most fun we had the entire trip. The guides we had were incredibly fun and knowledgeable and the islands were stunning. Bring water shoes, the beaches are all SO painfully rocky

  • Gooster is outside of town at Le Meridian and is not a party spot at all. It’s more for relaxing, lounging and getting sun. It was exactly what we wanted and super inexpensive to reserve beds with towels ($40 for the day)

France

Some Basics:

  • France is notoriously expensive

  • Paris is busy and restaurants require reservations because they’re so small!

Paris

This wasn’t my first time in Paris and we were there for such a short time, we did a TON of walking! We also met up with friends for drinks. Paris in July is beyond crowded. It didn’t interfere with the experience for us, but if you’re crowd adverse, it’s not a good time for you to go!

Where we stayed: This Air Bnb. I cannot recommend it enough. The location is PRIME in the middle of restaurants and shops and easy access to the rest of the city. It is also hidden so it’s quiet inside. The actual apartment is HUGE by Paris standards and extremely comfortable. No AC but the place stayed beyond comfortable and cool and the shower was enormous (which we know is rare in Paris!).

Note: It’s located on a street with sex shops so if you’re conservative, IDK, that might bother you. Please keep in mind, sex in Paris is not taboo or like how we treat it in the US. It was an awesome location and the hosts were AMAZING.

Where we ate: Pink Mamma, Seine Dinner Cruise, HollyBelly

  • Pink Mamma is a big “Instagram” spot. It’s the spot to go for cute photos and the line was out the door the entire time we were there. The food was DIVINE (drinks too!) but the service was atrocious. Truly nothing special and I don’t recommend it. There’s plenty of other places to have a better experience in Paris

  • HollyBelly is so cute and has the most delicious food! I would definitely go again

What we did: Seine Dinner Cruise, Walked 18 miles around the city!

  • The Seine dinner cruise might sound touristy, but locals actually recommend it too. It’s a great way to hit the hot spots from a different viewpoint. There was also a live singer, great food, and decent wine! Highly recommend it!

  • When I say we walked the whole city, I mean it! We got in 18 miles because it was our only real day in the city. It was fun to explore shops and see the sights, but definitely prefer to have time to explore more leisurely.

  • I recommend going to Luxembourg Gardens with some bread and wine and a book and people watching if you have half a day to do so

The Champagne Region

This was my second time doing a French wine region and did not disappoint. We stayed in Reim (pronounced Ranse), which is the largest city in the region. It has all of the gorgeous French architecture but is small, clean and very idyllic. It’s super easy to navigate and easy to access if you chose to just take the high speed train from Paris for the day.

Where we stayed: This perfect Air BnB. This location was perfection. Literally across from the train station and just a short walk to downtown. Between the train station and this building is also a gorgeous park we hung out in during the day. The host was the sweetest and most accommodating woman and the actual apartment was so cute!

Where we ate: Le Jardin (Michelin Star)

  • We stayed here only two nights and tbh, the other two places we ate were just ok so I haven’t listed them

  • Le Jardin was pure magic. Easily one of my favorite places we are on the trip. Divine food, gorgeous garden setting. Walk around the French Estate that’s also a hotel before dinner!

What we did: This wine tour

  • This was SO much fun! Our guide was a born and bred local who knew his stuff and made the day FUN.

  • You definitely get large tastings but also you learn a lot about how to select good champagne and a lot about the history of the region. Truly a really cool experience.

  • Choose a tour that shows you local smaller champagne houses as well as a big one. I loved the smaller houses a lot more!

Final Thoughts

We really crushed this trip from a planning perspective. Having reservations, planning out activities as well as down time was truly the best way to go. I really enjoyed that we were able to see and do everything we wanted without feeling rushed or exhausted. There’s nothing that I wish I had seen that we missed. And although I said I didn’t like Split, I’m really glad we went because the excursions we went on were a must do!

Next up? Wait and see…I’ve got some things in the works!

I had an Epiphany

The other day, I was being very introspective and in my feels. And that led me to an epiphany.

I am at peace.

I’ve certainly got a long way to go to be completely comfortable in life and I have my very off days - but for the most part, I am simply at peace.

For a really long time (is this my favorite way to start a sentence?) I was always in turmoil. Always struggling to not let the actions and words of others affect me.

From traumas to friendships to work — I would internalize everything and allow it to completely control my inner peace.

Through therapy, and a whole lot of commitment each day, I think I’ve got an initial understanding of how to combat that.

I’ve made myself happy.

I detach from things and people who bring me great stress, I put a lot of time towards the things that make me feel whole, and I repeat over and over to myself — that is not yours to control.

I haven’t ever been a judgmental person. It’s not in my nature. BUT, I do think that when I’m unhappy with myself, I find ways to be unhappy with others. I’ll be less patient with a coworker or I’ll make a snippy comment about a friend.

Lately, that’s not been a thing. For the most part, I have more patience, less internal bitterness, and more namaste.

Because I am a very instant gratification, what’s the purpose, when do we achieve the goal type A person — I want to have tangible results on things. Even therapy. And after a year of steadily committing to it, I was thinking where has it brought me and what has it taught me.

And the biggest thing I realized is this peace. The ability to let things go as not mine to own. And to genuinely not feel on the defensive 24/7. To not constantly be waiting for what’s next and allowing my anxieties to convince me of things that simply are not true.

Everything is not perfect, but all the sparkles are falling into place. I’m not naive enough to believe everything will be sparkles and rainbows forever, but I am confident I have better tools to manage the storms. Acknowledging that I am at peace gives me the realization that I have all the tools in front of me. When things get hard, I have everything I need to get through it.

My biggest piece of advice for those of you struggling with anxiety is to find peace within yourself. Figure out what that looks like and how to achieve it. And harness it. Go back to that place whenever you can. Write down what gets you there. Create a toolbox that you can rely on when things get tough. Because they will. They always will.

I had an epiphany the other day, and it has everything to do with the faith I have in myself.

Happy Birthday to ME!

I am 34 today! Which seems wildly old and wildly young all at the same time!

I love a good celebration of birth. Since I was a wee sequin, I really got on board with celebrating birthdays to the max. I just love a good day of sparkles and happiness and focusing on me!

It’s also such a fun way to reflect on the year before, the year ahead, and all that entails.

This year was completely unexpected. I left Texas to move back to Northern California to work in an entirely new industry, entirely new role, and to a job I didn’t even apply to. I was actively looking for a new role, but to be recruited by one of the biggest brands in the world was both terrifying and flattering all at once.

I sincerely had no idea what this year would bring and no expectations on this life change.

It’s been all the things. A blessing, a challenge — and all of the in between too. I don’t know if staying in the Bay Area is really the best fit for me long term, but for the first time, I do feel like I’m with a company I want to stay with long term.

Personally, I’ve worked harder than ever before to commit to therapy, actively put myself before work, and get out of my comfort zone with travel/friendships/relationships.

I actually struggled a lot with feeling “old” and having to fit into societal norms of what that means, something I never really thought I’d struggle with. But 34 seems like a weirdly better age than 33? I don’t know why and I realize that makes no sense, but neither do I.

34 feels like it’s going to be a freaking cool year because of all the possibilities in life. I’m traveling more, I’m going after the next step in my career at Google Cloud, and I’m saying yes more to the things I need to be healthy and happy.

Age is just a number, but I’m an athlete. And to us, numbers are everything. They’re the wins, the loses, the identity - the truly define our world. I’ll never grow out of identifying numbers with positives and negatives.

So for 34, I’m giving a cheers to me, myself, I and all the adventures to come! How lucky am I to be in a place that all my dreams are not only possible, they’re something I can see in front of me?

And for those of you who know that every year on my birthday I check something off my bucket list, I’m spending the day in a true spa day! I’ve never been able to manage the financials nor the time of a spa day but this year, I am making that happen!

BIG Mood

Ya’ll, I am happy.

Truly, wildly, happy.

I’ve not ever felt at peace and sort of wondered if life was always just a dramatic series of things are ok but not great. But things are great.

To me that simply means I feel happy.

In all honesty, work has everything to do with it. They say work isn’t everything, and whoever they are, they’re right. But work takes up a really large portion of our time so when that isn’t good, it affects everything.

Let’s take a pulse check -

Most days, I’m home by 430. I don’t work on weekends for the first time in 12 years. My workday is mine to create. If I need to work from home, I can. Need to go to a doctor appointment? Just go.

That leaves me a lot of time to do the things that keep me feeling my happiest self. I feel full and complete. I workout everyday. I cook dinner. I can meet with friends during the week. I can fly to visit people and join adventures without worrying about a weekend work trip. I can do all the things y’all

So I’m happy.

I keep up with shows. I make plans. I am invested with therapy. All of the things that make me feel whole, I get them done in the day and still have time to relax.

Is this the life ya’ll been living and I’ve been missing out? I never understood how people got everything done and had these vibrant social lives. I get it now.

I’m having a really BIG MOOD.

There’s obviously still times that are more stressful, nights I don’t get home until later - but that’s few and far between. It used to be my normal. My new normal is having a full life.

I keep wondering how my writing will evolve as I am a happier, healthier me. I have less time to write, but writing is still important to me. Stay tuned sequins, I have a feeling this mood is here to stay…and I hope you’ll continue with me on this journey!

Fountain of Youth

Never in my life have I been more invested in skincare as I am right now. I’m really lucky and have incredible olive skin. Essentially having one small zit every 6 months is really the worst that happens to me (knock on wood). I’m appreciative of that. However I’m not 22 anymore and I’m a highly expressive human. I’ve spent a lot of time in the sun (and le sigh, in tanning beds when I was young). I never took care of my skin in my 20’s. I’m 33 now, and that’s all changed. I’m committed to looking and feeling my best.

I’ve written about plastic surgery as well as injections in the past and here I am a year later still not ready to go that route yet. Again, I’m so here for that if its for you and eventually, I’ll get there. Right now, I’m not there.

But I am spending money on skincare products to look and feel my best. What you should know about me:

  • Dry, sensitive skin

  • Big believer in not spending thousands each month on products

  • Not loyal to any one brand

  • Lazy AF

That’s a really good background on me and how I spend when it comes to skincare. Here’s my general routine:

Morning: Cleaners, toner, exfoliant/antiaging serum, BB cream (with SPF 30)

Evening: Cleaners, toner, exfoliant/antiaging serum, retinol antiaging night cream, night eye cream

This is A LOT for me. To me, that’s 3,000 steps. But it’s basic enough that it’s manageable without making me get up earlier in the morning or commit too much time before bed. Now I do switch it up at night because retinol creams can be harsh on my sensitive skin. So I alternate between that and an antiaging serum paired with vitamin c serum.

Now to the meat of this thing, the products I’m loving right now (I’ve added in some outside my normal daily routine because I like to switch it up):

Cleanser

Aveeno Positively Radiant Brightening Cleanser (Target, $5.59)

I’m a huge fan of Aveeno products. They’re inexpensive and they are so gentle on my skin. I also use their makeup remover wipes. This cleanser is long lasting, gently exfoliates, and the bottle lasts me forever. I even bought a three pack on Amazon for $15 thinking I’d go through the bottle faster but one of these bad boys has lasted me 5 months.

Toner

Equate Beauty Deep Cleaning Toner (Walmart, $2.50)

Look, I’m not claiming this is the best toner on the market at $2.50 but it works really well for me. I’ve been using it for years and had no issues. Again, one bottle lasts me probably 3 months. A little goes a long way.

Exfoliating Liquid

Paula’s Choice Skin Perfecting 2% BHA Liquid (Paula’s Choice, $29.50)

A friend recommended this to me because she also has super sensitive skin. It’s the first Paula’s Choice product I’ve tried and I’m hooked. It’s made with simple ingredients, no frills packaging and safe enough for me to use twice a day. I noticed a difference in the softness of my skin as well as how bright my skin has been right away.

Antiaging Night Cream

ROC Retinol Night Cream (Amazon, $12)

This product has been around for decades. I love that it is constantly rated high on every product list and is still $12. You can really get it anywhere but for me, Amazon is easy. It’s effective and stands the test of time, which is good enough for me.

Eye Cream

Bare Minerals SkinLongevity Vital Power Eye Gel Cream (Amazon, $18)

I love Bare Minerals products so I tried out their SkinLongevity line and while the serum made me breakout, I’ve found success with the eye cream. It’s gotten rid of virtually all dark circles as well as made my eyes in general feel brighter and softer. I think it’s normally $25-$30 but I found it on Amazon for $18. It’s not just a night cream either so feel free to use this bad boy for your daytime cream too.

Antiaging Vitamin Night Serum

Derma e Antiwrinkle Night Serum (TJ Maxx, $5.99)

I first tried out Derma e products from my BirchBox sbscription and found I really enjoy them. I started seeing their products at TJ Maxx for anywhere from $5.99-$9.99 so I scooped them up. This night serum is a great trade off when I need a break from retinol which can be harsh on sensitive skin. It’s got a great consistency and gives my skin the vitamins it needs each evening. I top this off with their vitamin c serum as well.

Exfoliating Wash

ELF Gentle Peeling Exfoliant (ELF.com, $8)

I bought this on Black Friday when everything on ELF was 60% off. I LOVE IT.  I believe it was $8, but don’t quote me. It’s gentle on my sensitive skin but you can see and feel it working as the dead skin lifts right off your face and neck. Highly recommended for those of you who are too sensitive for intense exfoliating treatments at the spa but still need to get that refresh. I only use it maybe 2x a week max.

That’s it. That’s what I’m loving right now. I have a lot of masks as well as some other face washes but these are my tried and true go to products right now.

What are you using? Share with your friend sequins!

 

All that glitters.

Is me. I am all that glitters. And I am solid gold.

I think the coolest thing about human beings is what makes them memorable. We all have quirks and characteristics that take us forever to own but that endear us to others immediately.

My whole life I have been a 12 on the energy scale. I defined extra before it became a worldwide meme sensation. I have been loud, bubbly, sparkly - since I can remember. Growing up there were plenty of times I tried to redefine myself.

I wanted to be the smart one. The serious athlete. The girly girl. The quiet mysterious type. Turns out, my inner ray of sunshine cannot stay cooped up long enough for me to be anything but a glitter cannon. At 33, I’m here to own that.

What does that mean? I talk too much, I want to be friends with everyone, word vomit is an everyday ailment. I’m a morning person, a night person, and I’m going to ask you 382 questions in between. I can’t stop smiling. If I’m not the host of the party, I will quickly become the life of it.

It also means I have high highs and low lows. I’ll spend the majority of my time surrounded by people and then crash. I don’t like to talk about myself. I’m often mistaken for dumb, flighty, surface level. I’ve been told more than once that I am a lot to handle. People either love me or hate me. There is no - “she’s okay.”

That’s a really large weight to carry.

I think a lot of people have figured out the art of blending into this world. I tried it and I have never failed more miserably at anything in my entire life. I cannot blend makeup, I cannot blend life. I’m a disco ball hanging from a ceiling full of fluorescent lights. Forever ready to sparkle and shine and bring the magic.

Instead of continuing to try to be more serious, quiet my voice, grow out of the glitter - I’m dripping in it. What I’ve learned is, it’s not on me to explain myself to anyone. I don’t have to provide a manual to understanding me. You get it or you don’t. You like me or you don’t.

There are so many things the world is telling us to be right now. Social media alone will tell you what it takes to be someone - the looks, the jobs, the lifestyle - it’s all right there, a guide to being “it.” A lot of the struggles of millenials and those growing up in the world come from existing in a place that puts your whole life in the spotlight. Kids and adults alike are struggling to fit in and also to remain true to what they feel and who they are.

Quite honestly, I’m not sure how well I would have been able to cope as a teenager in a world where my entire social life lives on the internet. It took me a good 30 years to accept my truth and the only social media struggles I experienced were who I upset over my MySpace top 8. There were no snapchat nudes. Nobody was screenshotting my text messages. If you couldn’t get me on aim or the house line, that was it. See ya at school tomorrow bud.

It’s really easy to lose your sparkle - or what makes you uniquely you - in a world that’s constantly surrounding you with ways to be anything but. I still have moments I struggle. Where I think I should look/be/feel/act a certain way. And it can all be solved by reconnecting with who I am at my core.

For me, reconnecting means three things:

  1. Logging off the internet: All of it. No socials. No surfing online. Phone down. Laptop off. Tablet in its case.

  2. Getting Outside: I love being outside. It reminds me how much there is to explore, how small I am, and how beautiful the world is. I go walking, running, on a hike or simply sit on a beach/deck/mountainside. Whatever I can do, I go outside and get some air.

  3. Talk to my people: I allow very few people to be close to me. So when I do, its because they’re people I trust and know truly love me for me. We believe that without each other, life wouldn’t be as full. Those are the people I turn to. I am open about how I’m feeling and they spring to action. We talk about anything and everything and they’re the first people to say let’s go do something that makes you happy.

It can often be difficult to maintain that constant confidence in who you are, where you’re at, what you look like - it’s a lot of stuff to keep at center. Don’t expect that 100% of the time everything will align. Do know when you’re having a tough time seeing most of the good and reconnect with the things that get you back on track.

I am all that glitters. And everything that entails. And everything positive and negative people think about that. But the coolest thing about being sparkly, is that at my very core, you can’t dim that shine. It’s always there. It’s who I am. There’s a reason I was chosen to be made of sugar and spice and everything 2010 MAC glitter pigment line. I’m here to keep life on its toes. Glitter never goes away.

You’re here for a very wonderful reason too. Don’t forget that. Don’t hide it. Reconnect with it and show the world what you’re made of.

My 384th Mid Life Crisis

I’m really introspective. I’m constantly evaluating where I’m at, who I am, what I’m doing and how I can make adjustments to grow and be better. I want to maximize who I am and what I can do in this world. Because of that, I have a mid life crisis at least every other year. It’s so unnecessary and so annoying. And so me.

For someone who’s a all glitter, puppies, and sports - I’m quite the deep thinker. It’s never far from my mind that I’ve got a limited amount of time and I’m already about 1/3 into this thing and there’s no redo. It feels like walking up the stairs forever without seeing the top. And its not getting off on any of the floors to stop and see the sights. It’s just climbing and climbing and it never ends.

I don’t know why its at its most extra this year, but for some reason being 33 hit me really hard. I started thinking I was old. Too old for this, too young for that. Past my prime for this milestone. Too far from hitting that one. And the more I talked to friends in a similar life stage as I’m at, the more I realized I’m not alone. Everyone is out there questioning who they are, where they’re at, and what they should be doing differently.

I think part of living in a world where you have these really high expectations and you’re constantly thinking about every little detail of your life is that you hold it inside. You feel like a freak because that’s a heavy load of thoughts/feelings/fears. So it becomes this burden that you don’t dare speak out loud, making it heavier and heavier to carry inside. You fear speaking it out loud because it makes it real. And it makes it open for judgment.

Realistically, you’re not alone. Super not alone. I think a lot of people around you will say they’ve got the same exact fears at any given time. They’re worrying about their job, their finances, their relationships, their age, their skin, their clothes — every single thing — all the things! And there truly are so many things.

Now I’m not saying you should get out there and share all the thoughts in your head about this every time the mid life crisis creeps up. That’s next level and people have things they have to carry on their own. We all got a lot of shit to do. But you can confide in your people. You can say woah hey, this one is especially overwhelming can we hash some things out? And if you need more than a friendly ear and a glass of wine, call a therapist.

Therapy is my absolute favorite place for mid life crisis thirty. It’s a safe space with a neutral party who is ready to help talk you off the ledge and remind you that you’re not in fact crazy, you’re just really hard on yourself. You can make lists and do worksheets and its actual heaven for type A folks. I’m currently keeping a very detailed sleep journal for my therapist and I’m obsessed with the fact that it gives me an action point for helping myself.

If it’s a mini mid life crisis - you can take out your toolkit and manage that shit at home. Get in tune with where you’re at. Make your own list of things you love about yourself, things you’ve achieved, reasons people love you. Check off the bucket list items you’ve gone and done. And make a new list or vision board of where you want to go/what you want to achieve next. Setup a plan to achieve those things. I find when I can see a plan or a list in front of me, I’m able to get an idea for the bigger picture and calm myself the hell down. It gives me space to take a deep breath. To feel a little more in control of my situation and the path I’m on.

We also have to address the annoying societal standards in the world. I don’t know who invented these but sincerely stop. If I have to see one more Instagram model filtered and nipped and tucked and be told I have to be gorgeous and funny and smart and I’m going to lose it. Thankfully our generation is taking a stand and trying to move forward, but there are still a lot of life stages dictated by society/customs/religions/parents. It’s really hard to push back on these things. Especially when they’re family/faith/culturally based. At the end of the day though, you are in charge of your plan and your life. You have to understand that there are sincerely no rules to how life happens. Your stages might look differently than others and the expectations others have for you. And that’s okay. Remind yourself of this often. Life is hard enough, you don’t need the added pressure of pleasing others.

You also need to accept that you can’t control everything. The world is going to get wild and weird and you may have to zig where you planned to zag. Life has its own plan for you. That plan could involve more twists and turns than Carol who landed the dream job at 21 and found the dream guy at 22 and - you see what I’m saying? That’s not for you to plan. That’s for you to experience.

The mid life crisis life is hard. It’s not for the faint of heart. It’s also really manageable and becomes less of a looming cloud if you take control to the best of your ability. Do whatever you have to in order to maintain balance. Leave yourself notes, set reminders on your phone, get out and do more of what makes you feel alive and thriving - whatever it is, don’t allow those mid life crisis to steal your confidence. Chin up sequins, life is made to be designed, and you, you’re custom.

What a Weirdo!

I’ve been called weird a lot in my life. I’m loud, sparkle obsessed, lack a filter — the list goes on. People call me weird.

I’m here to tell you:

Whatever makes you weird, that’s your greatest asset.

Read that back. And own it.

I’m known for being extremely into glitter, sequins, anything sparkly. And I’m 33. I’m not a 5 year old watching Frozen. I’m a grown woman obsessed with all things that shine. It’s weird. And it’s also dope.

My sparkle is my asset. It’s what makes me resilient, passionate, HAPPY, and fiercely myself. It sets me apart. It’s what makes me a little weird but also when people think of sparkle, they think of me. And it makes them smile. It makes me unique. And it’s my superpower.

We all spend so much time trying to fit in. Of course we want to be well liked and some of us even want to blend in. But if there’s something that makes you a little weird, but that wholeheartedly makes you feel authentically you — embrace that quality. It’s what’s going to give you a leg up in life because it’s what you’re the best at.

If you’re really into science, random trivia, drawing cartoons - own that. There’s a place for that in the world and because its what you’re passionate about, you’re going to excel at it. And somebody somewhere, they’re going to need you for it.

Think about it — if we all look the same, act the same, love the same — where is the opportunity to thrive? You thrive because your weirdness is uniquely yours. And it can’t be replaced. So it’s your greatest strength.

I get it - some other person out there is wildly obsessed with shiny things like I am. But they don’t act on that in the same way I do. We don’t have the same personality. So how that weirdness shows up for me isn’t how it shows up for them. Our assets are just a little bit different.

And the difference is what makes us really awesome. It’s what you can contribute to the world. It’s how you leave your mark. And fuck anyone who says differently.

When someome tells me I’m weird, I thank them. You know who you don’t forget? The weird one. I’m not easy to forget because I’m weird.

People who don’t appreciate weird, they’re not for me. I don’t want to see another average Joe. I want to know what makes your face light up. What keeps you up late at night because you can’t put it down. What gets you going in the morning because you can’t wait to get back to it.

We have a world right now that’s absolutely breaking down people who aren’t the same. You have to be American, white, male — or we have to build a wall. We have to deny you citizenship. We have to say you’re weird and different and you’re wrong.

YOU’RE NOT.

The differences — the weirdness — that’s what keeps us going. It’s what keeps us thriving. It’s how we create greatness. Embrace your weird. Never apologize for it. And find out what makes others weird, and celebrate that.

Your weirdness is your greatest asset because its what you’re really really good at. It’s your niche market. Your greatest skill. Don’t lose it. Don’t hide it. Don’t apologize for it.

Show the world your freak flag man, it’s got the potential to make the world a better place.

My Best Me

ITS OCTOBER! October is where I'm my best me. It's the month of my birth, Championship baseball season (GO GIANTS...even when they're not in it), college football is in full swing, the air is crisp, the leaves are changing, and Halloween/Pumpkin life has arrived. The way a lot of people feel about Summer is the way I feel about October. I thrive the entire month.

Do ya'll have a time of year when you feel you're at your best? Like you can conquer the world?

This whole idea of living your best life at a certain time of year got me thinking, how do we bottle that up and use it throughout the rest of the year? It seems silly to only be your best you for part of the year. That's a lot of other time spent not being your best you, and that's a lot of time you could be doing so.

As always, I'm using me as an example for this exercise. What makes me feel my best me? I'm very affected by weather. I hate heat. I like when it's chilly and I need greenery. I need open spaces and to see blue skies. I'm also a huge sports fan. In the Fall, all the best sports are in their prime. I'm also a kid at heart, I love my Birthday and celebrating myself. It's all sparkles and smiles and being surrounded by people I love.

Ok -so let's break that down.

Weather: LOL Ashley you cannot control the weather. It cannot be Fall all year round. But you can escape to where it feels a little more Fall. When its unbearably hot where I'm currently living, I can escape to somewhere cooler. Hate Winter? Get yourself to the Caribbean for a lovely getaway. The point is, you are not a tree, move!

Sports: I freaking love the sports. I hate that brief period of time that it's not football or baseball season, its torture! But I can find other sports to get interested in. And I can reminisce on past moments that made me super happy in sports. Are you big into flowers and it's not spring? Have some flowers delivered to yourself and keep them in your home for an instant smile. Too hot for a cup of warm tea and a blanket? Turn the AC up and indulge!

Birthday: Cool, so realistically I can't change or add days for my birthday. But I can celebrate myself other days. Had an awesome day at work? Great let's get ice cream! And when I think about it, what I love most about my birthday is the people I share it with. I get more time and attention with the people I love. Why wait for a day? I can spend more time with the people I love any day! Chances are the days you like the celebrate are because of the people around you and the way they make you feel. So stop waiting for a given day, see them because they matter to you every single day.

A million things align for us to be our best selves. And we can find a million excuses for when we aren't our best selves. It's all controllable even when its uncontrollable. LOL - what does that even mean? It means when you can't control things, control how you react. Choose to say whatever bad day, let's get drinks. Ok office jerk, forget you - headphone times! Adjust the day and make it more conducive to living your best life.

It's time for the lesson. Stop waiting for the best time of the year to live your best life, to be your best you. Figure out why Summer/Fall/October/December are your favorite time of year and figure out how you can recreate those feelings the rest of the year. Being your best you for a short period of time is wasting a long period of time that you could be thriving. Don't let the rest of the year suck because you're not in prime you season. Make every moment a moment you can live your best life as your best you.