Send Nudes.

In 2016 - dating is really hard.  It's swiping right or left, strategic games, and endless requests for nudes. 

I'm a modern woman.  I'm confident, independent, and I don't believe in traditional gender roles.  I do however have some really old school views when it comes to dating. 

Let's be really up front - I'm not innocent.  In no way do my opinions reflect any judgement on those who date differently.  But as I've gotten older - and more or less wiser - the way I engage in dating has changed.

I don't particularly care for online dating, apps, or any scientifically proven algorithms that will introduce me to "Mr. Right."  I have friends who have had incredible success from them, but I still carry a stigma with me that the universe doesn't want me to meet my lobster on Tinder (Bumble is classier anyways you guys...).  Sure, have I been bored and checked them out?  Absolutely.  And boy do those conversations make for some incredible laughter.  But that's all I've gotten from those interactions - laughter. 

Dating apps represent a generation of "there's always something better out there."  They stand for the ability to seek the next best thing rather than work on what's in front of you.  And that's not something I believe in.  I believe in authentic courtship.  A meet cute if you will, followed by getting to know each other and deciding to commit to each other in a relationship.  I'm not interested in dating 10 different men at once, I don't believe comparison is the best way to see what works for me.  Certainly that's an antiquated viewpoint - but its something I wholeheartedly feel I need to have a successful romantic relationship.

I'd like to take nudes off the table.  I'd like to ask that you take the time to date only me if you've got a genuine interest in our connection.  I require that if we commit to a relationship and encounter some rocky roads, you don't jump back into the dating game immediately, you take the time to work on our issues in a healthy way.  And if we can't make them work, we decide in a grown up discussion, to part ways. 

Of course I don't blame technology and I don't blame solely men for this cultural shift in dating.  It's happening throughout generations today and its the fault of both men and women equally.  It's the responsibility of the individual to make a decision on how they wish to engage in relationships and settle for nothing less.  If online dating and playing the field works for you, enjoy it.  If you're a bit more traditional, don't settle in your standards because its harder to find a partner that feels the same.  Relationships are incredibly personal, make sure you're not "doing romance" on anyone's terms but your own.  The only person you're accountable to is yourself and your partner.  And quite frankly, YOU are the number one priority in that equation.  Without a strong healthy relationship with yourself, you can't possibly find success in a teammate.

I'm single.  I used to be the girl who was always dating someone.  But then I took time for myself to work on my career and myself.  And now I finally believe I'm in a place to have a successful grown up healthy partnership.  While I don't necessarily want to go the swipe right route, I believe that my lobster is out there.  But I'm not in a hurry to find him. 

I don't want to send you any nudes.  I don't want to play games and try to figure out when to text/call/send smoke signals.  I'm not interested in worrying about when I'm supposed to get married.  I certainly don't want to force anything and I won't ever compromise in what works for me.  I'm not in it for the next best thing, I'm in it for forever.  So when I say I'm in no rush, I mean I'm not willing to risk a mistake.  I'll wait for the real deal - and then I'll send all the nudes, forever and ever amen.

The San Francisco 49ers

I was born a Niners fan.  My family of athletes doesn't believe in raising their children to make their own sports loyalty decisions.  We tell you who to support when you come out of the womb and you get on board or you find a new family.  It's been done this way since cavemen and I plan to force the same loyalties on my children.

To me, the San Francisco 49ers have meant loyalty, tradition and excellence above all.  They stand for winning, sportsmanship, teamwork and class.  I grew up in awe of Steve Young, Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, Dwight Clark - legends in their field.  Whether we won a ring or not - I was proud to wear red and gold. 

In recent years, the organization has lost its way.  Now before you claim I am merely bitter because we are 1-12, understand that you're wrong.  There's a reason we can't keep a coach, players, or even staff.  There's a reason the Niners were named the worst organization in sports.  And there's a reason that our past coaches and players thrive on other teams and within other organizations.

When it's not coaching and its not your players - it's ownership.  Success starts at the top.  It takes a good leader to make the right decisions and put the right people into the puzzle to make it all fit.  And right now - we have a really poor leader.  Don't believe me?  Let's talk. 

Jim Harbaugh - he was 43-19-1 with the 49ers.  He was a leader in the locker room - certainly overly passionate but he knew what he was doing.  He's considered one of the most successful coaches in franchise history.  Since Jim Harbaugh left we have won I believe 6 of the last 28 games.  Jim is now at Michigan - a team ranked consistently top 10 since he took over.

Patrick Willis.  Patrick Willis spent his entire 8 year career as a 49er as one of the best to play the game.  7x Pro bowl, NFL defensive rookie of the year, 5x first team all pro - and the list goes on.  He retired from the game rather than stay with the organization.  Certainly we can talk about his injuries and his heart wasn't in it - but I still place some of the blame on the Niners for not making it a place he loved being anymore.  **To be fair - I am in love with Patrick Willis so basically nothing he does is wrong in my eyes. 

Do we even go into our draft picks of late?  I'm no expert but what in the hell is Trent Baalke thinking when he goes into a draft?  Is he throwing darts?  Drawing cards?  GUESSING?  I honestly want to know what happens in that war room.  And I want to know if the rest of the ops team is in support or just as confused as us fans are?  All I know for sure is since 2011 when Baalke became the permanent GM - I've not been impressed.  And that 2011 season that the experts credit to his turnaround?  I credit that to a Jim Harbaugh coaching regime.  Because ok - Aldon Smith was great for a hot minute and so was Kapernick - but can we please look at how both of those draft picks have ended up?  Aldon Smith is a nightmare and does not represent what a 49er player stands for (fitting he's a Raider now) and Kap quite honestly can't hang when the pressure is on and he needs to learn to focus on football during the season instead of his poorly misguided political views (don't vote, don't talk).  Sure he had some brief success but when the rest of the league caught on to his style of play, he began to falter.  He has brief moments of stardom, but again, at the end of the day - you can't rely on Kapernick to get the job done.

From a business standpoint - because sports are a business - Jed York is doing a pretty good job.  He built a stadium that caters to the tech billionaires and draws big shows.  Whether people come to the game or not - he collects on the season tickets and sponsorships.  The concerts, shows, and corporate events are booking up the off season because he built himself an expensive fancy stadium (although close look, it's got some tech and layout issues but I digress).  At the end of the day - the 49ers probably aren't hurting for money.  And realistically, that's probably part of the reason Jed is willing to take risks with the football end of the business.  If you're still going to be rich AF whether you win or lose, might as well take a few liberties with your decisions.  Sports teams are often hobbies to rich owners, not their livelihood.

So now here we are - it's 2016.  We've had two more head coaches (I'm thinking we get a third for the next season), numerous off the field player incidents, and we are 1-12.  I can't name half the players on our team and there's no hope of a comeback in the foreseeable future.

It's a start with getting rid of Trent Baalke but then I want to see the York's go (far less likely but I want to believe the latest rumors).  I want to see big changes and to restore what this organization used to stand for.  No more losing, no more behavioral issues, no more focusing on taking the team out of San Francisco.  This is an organization that's 70 years old.  And for a good 60+ of those years being a Niner fan came with immense pride in what that logo stood for.  Sports are supposed to be fun and to encourage loyalty.  Right now - the only thing this franchise brings to the table is a fancy stadium for the Silicon Valley rich kids.  It's cool you can order a beer with an app, but who's at the game to buy that beer?  NOBODY (see what I did there?).

Jed York, give us our team back.  I will always be a fan, I will always love my Niners.  There's no other team for me.  But I want to feel proud of that loyalty again.  I want to wear my gear and remember the tradition, respect, class and excellence it stands for.  I am forever faithful, make that mean something again.

**If you're not a Niner fan and you say anything bad about my team, you're dead to me and I'll fight you. 

***My version of fighting is to throw glitter in your eye. (Except that time in AZ where me and my cousin almost fought some Cardinals fans, but really, that was the vodka's fault and I'm really sorry I almost got us into World War 3...anywhoo!)