Are people still on the New Year, New Me kick? Or have we moved past that and everyone’s back to being a dumpster fire?
I personally have never set a new year’s resolution. As an athlete I find them pointless. You should be working everyday to get better, no need to wait for some arbitrary date on the calendar. If 2020 taught us anything, and it taught us a lot — time ain’t shit.
I spent the last couple years really working on myself. I committed to really being single, really getting to the root of my traumas and really trying to love me - the good and the bad.
What I’ve learned is that it’s a whole ass journey. You can’t just go to therapy or just eat right. You can’t just go to the gym or cut out the toxic folks in your life. It’s a whole mind body soul vortex that takes a long time to get right.
My concoction of wellness is one part therapy, one part fitness, one part healthy eating, one part setting boundaries, and about 32 million parts dogs.
For me, weekly therapy as a consistent is really important. I find that even though I spend a lot of the time just talking through whatever I’m struggling with, it gives me persepctive and resets my anxiety about my own issues. I need a neutral party to remind me I’m not a piece of shit. I do. Sure, there are the activities and the homework and that’s all fine and good, but the 50 minutes with someone who is going to explain to me why I am the way I am and help me to develop my own peace with my past is life changing.
Fitness is a huge component of my overall well being. I have been an athlete since I was in the womb and if I go more than a day or two without movement, my body feels awful and my mind is a mess. Finding the balance of understanding fitness is about moving and not about weight has been a whole other bag of issues. It took me decades to understand that being active can mean a long walk, yoga, a run, a hike — it can be a thousand things. And it doesn’t have to be about losing weight or changing my phsyical appearance. It’s about allowing my body a moment to just move around and let those endorphins flow.
I should add that getting outside is also probably a huge piece of my sanity. Fresh air throughout the day makes me feel at peace. It reinvigorates my whole mood and makes me feel alive. It’s a game changer.
Healthy eating for me is another bag of issues. Growing up I ate really healthy. I had also started dieting by age 13 to try and make myelf a better athlete. My relationship with food is wild. Because I never really ate junk food until college, I have moments where I binge too much and feel guilty. I also have moments I deprive myself. None of that is healthy. The only way that I’ve been able to keep a healthy relationship with food is through cooking and prioritizing whole from the earth foods. That’s important to me. Cooking is theraputic for me too. Seeing what I can put into each meal gives me joy and helps me know what foods make me feel good. It’s ok to eat the junk at times — sometimes I want some ice cream — but when I am eating healthier, and not depriving myself, my body and mind feel stronger and my whole system operates at peak levels.
Setting boundaries - wow ok so it has taken me decades upon decades to figure out boundaries. Truth be told, this is where I struggle the most. Whether it’s human relationships to work — I am an extremes person. I’m all in or I’m all out. There’s no balance to me. And that’s not healthy either. Learning to have a life outside of work, to not expect that everyone has the same all in mentality as I do — that is a journey. And I think it always will be a journey for me. I don’t have a whole lot of enlightenment here, becasue I’m still learning what a boundary is and how to set one. It’s not intuitive to me. I hope it will be someday.
Lastly - when all else fails, when I’m completely out of alignment - I hug my dog. Nobody is going to love me so completely and without judgment like my dog will. And even if it’s just a quick snuggle, he resets my perspective and come on — who doesn’t love a little puppy love?
Mind Body soul connection is so real. It’s a whole mental, physical, spiritual combination that is different for every single one of us. What works for me is torture for you. What works for you is lunacy to me. But what I’ve really learned in 2020, after a whole year of spending a lot of time alone and growing, without that recipe for success — life sucks. And again, every blog is about 2020 which isn’t for everoyne - but it changed us all - and I for one want to come out of it a better person for myself first and the rest of the world second.
2020 showed us a lot of ugly, getting myself on a higher level is my first step towards helping the world get better.
