In the past year (or so), I've had no less than about one billion major life changes. I left an abusive work environment, moved to Los Angeles, was laid off from a job I didn't even enjoy, had a health scare (or two), have been dealing with major family issues, had a breakup with a guy I never should have dated, moved to a new state, got a job in a new industry, and the list goes on. For someone who truly is all sparkles and smiles - my shine level has felt a little low at times.
Which leads me to my 14th mid-life crisis.
I am often told it appears I have it all figured out. That everything in my life is together. I've got the career, the confidence, the looks (GUYS STAWWWP), you get the point. And for that reason, I felt it was important to make it crystal clear that this is not in fact true.
I don't have everything figured out. I struggle like the rest of you. Some days I'm exhausted and fed up and question all the choices I've made. And some days, I feel like nothing can stop me. But not once do I feel like I am the picture of perfection.
I try to be very open about my insecurities and my battles because I'm very aware that I can come off unicorns and rainbows 24/7. But recently I've had a lot of people come to me for advice and guidance with their own struggles. It was pointed out to me that it's because I appear to have all the answers.
Guys - I don't. I have like 4 answers and they all end in wine or glitter. You know what, 5 answers because puppy snuggles.
In all seriousness (gross who is serious?) - my life isn't completely put together - but it isn't falling apart either - and that's because I will not ever let it. I have my mini mid life crisis and I move on. Maybe it seems I've got it all figured out because I stay positive, work hard, and reflect on where I'm at. I'm not dwelling on what's going wrong and if something is going wrong you can bet I'm actively working to fix it.
Sometimes I have a mid life crisis. I actually think I'm on 32 at this point. I have complete breakdowns and I question my choices and where I'm at. I make the wrong decision. I let myself have a moment of weakness. I'm the same as everyone else out there who experiences these thins in life. The only difference, I don't let it define me.
I am beyond flattered that people come to me for advice. I feel eternally humbled when people tell me they can relate to what I write about. And I love being able to speak from experience to help other people get through hard times. Because I have been there.
Maybe I do have it more together than most. But truthfully, I think I'm just more willing to suck it up, change my situation (or my attitude) and push for what I want.
This is making me feel better already. Goodbye 14th midlife crisis. See you for 15 in a month or so?