Peace Man.

The key to any relationship - romantic, friendly, even the relationship with yourself - is forgiveness.  In order to gain peace of mind and live a truly happy life - you have to learn to forgive and be at peace with whatever that means.

The ultimate goal in life should be to obtain peace.  Peace within your relationships internally and with those around you.  To feel a sense of comfort, safety, and trust in the world and those around you.  And that means learning to forgive people and situations even if they don't have the outcome you hope for.   

As the biggest control freak out there - I relate to needing things to fit into certain categories and reach certain conclusions.  But that's not realistic.  It's impossible to have definitive conclusions and closure to every situation or relationships.  Being able to recognize that, accept it and neutralize your emotions with that - are the best skills you could ever have.

I had a friend I'd known for 20+ years.  Since we were the tiniest of children.  As we continued o grow up the relationship began to stress me out more and more.  But I never actually took the time to understand why or communicate that to her.  When I finally understood why I felt the way I did and spoke up - she wholeheartedly disagreed.  She felt very differently and it ended our relationship.  It took me a really long time to accept that there's no right and wrong in that situation.  And neither of us was going to understand the other or make a change.  At the end of the day, there's no resolve.  

Today - I am able to understand we grew into two different people.  the relationship became something that wasn't working.  I now understand I can't plead my case or change the way she feels. I accept that I can't change her feelings.  And I feel at peace with the fact that it is what it is.  The only thing I can do is focus on what is best and healthiest for me.  What brings me the most peace.

A lot of learning to be at peace, to embrace the calm and neutral space inside you is learning to get to know YOU.  It's understanding your feelings, being confident in who you are, and learning how you best fit into the world around you.  

Digging deeper - confidence in yourself, who you are and where you exist in your space are truly the most critical characteristics you can have.  Taking the time to be truly in tune with what makes you who you are, the good and the bad, gives you such an advantage in life.  Know your triggers, know where you thrive, and be able to love you for all of those things.

Feelings are my least favorite things in the world.  I've existed for 31 years with the tactic of ignoring emotions and it's all coming back to hit me smack in the face.  The ability to have feelings, understand feelings, and communicate those feelings - I'm certain that makes you some kind of super hero.  But seriously, having the awareness to know when you feel good, when you need a minute, and how to reset yourself to neutral is the ultimate level of zen.  Harness that ninja skill and use it to save the world.  

Learning where you fit - this means combining your confidence and awareness and choosing people and environments that help you maintain those qualities at a high level.  It's realizing if you're triggered by loud and opinionated vibes - you maybe don't become my friend.  It's knowing the type of situations and people who make you feel the most alive.  They challenge you in a way that makes you feel growth but not so much that you feel bad about who you are.  

Peace of mind is internal.  It's working on all of these components to set yourself up for success.  And then it's using those tools to help you understand how someone else feels, accept the situation for what it is, and find peace in it even if you don't find a solution to the situation.  

Find peace and find that next level of living your best life as your best self.  And then you #SparkleOn

Make it Awkward

We all spend a lot of time keeping it from getting awkward.  We avoid the weirdness by excusing the behavior of others rather than saying - no actually its not ok.  We let people do the shitty things instead of calling them on it.  We let companies rip us off rather than fighting for the refund.  We get taken advantage of instead of just saying no, I actually can't do that.  We focus really hard on not making it really uncomfortable for someone else and then we are left feeling really uncomfortable ourselves.  I'm not into that life.  Maybe its because I'm secretly 95 at heart or because I'm exhausted from being everything to everyone - but I've decided to make it awkward.

Calm down.  I'm not going full blown crazy.  I'm not going to be a jerk and I'm not going to take it too far.  But I am going to say no, it's not okay that I was overcharged because an employee wasn't trained.  It's not okay that my ex was going through a hard time so he treated me poorly.  It is unreasonable to expect me to disregard my mental health to make someone else happy.  And part of being able to say those things out loud -to those people - means being okay with how they react.  A lot of people don't like being put in those awkward situations.  They want you to say of course its ok and no problem, I totally understand.  And when you tell them otherwise, they don't always respond in kind.  Be okay with that response.  The point is to make it awkward because its not up to you to forgo your self care to make anyone else happy.  And in order to do that - you have to make peace that you're abandoning the peace of being agreeable.

It's not easy to make it awkward.  It's often exhausting, uncomfortable and downright unpleasant.  But it's also freeing, empowering, and uplifting.  When you've spent a lot of time being everything for everyone - putting yourself to the side - it becomes almost status quo.  You get used to keeping things comfortable for others.  And soon - people decide that's who you are - and they expect it from you at all times.  When you decide to make that change - its upsetting for the people who've never known they don't take you into consideration.  They can react in the most negative of ways.  And that can hurt.  It can cause you frustration and pain and doubt.  For me, it's a lot more painful, exhausting, and frustrating to keep being everything. 

Make it Awkward.  Don't excuse the shitty behavior of others simply because it makes them more comfortable.  Don't make yourself feel bad for showing them the way in which you deserve to be treated.  Learn that its ok to say I can't be everything to everyone anymore, I want to be considered too.  You're allowed to change, grow, and want more.  Life is for getting uncomfortable and real.  Treating others with kindness and consideration includes YOU too.