The key to any relationship - romantic, friendly, even the relationship with yourself - is forgiveness. In order to gain peace of mind and live a truly happy life - you have to learn to forgive and be at peace with whatever that means.
The ultimate goal in life should be to obtain peace. Peace within your relationships internally and with those around you. To feel a sense of comfort, safety, and trust in the world and those around you. And that means learning to forgive people and situations even if they don't have the outcome you hope for.
As the biggest control freak out there - I relate to needing things to fit into certain categories and reach certain conclusions. But that's not realistic. It's impossible to have definitive conclusions and closure to every situation or relationships. Being able to recognize that, accept it and neutralize your emotions with that - are the best skills you could ever have.
I had a friend I'd known for 20+ years. Since we were the tiniest of children. As we continued o grow up the relationship began to stress me out more and more. But I never actually took the time to understand why or communicate that to her. When I finally understood why I felt the way I did and spoke up - she wholeheartedly disagreed. She felt very differently and it ended our relationship. It took me a really long time to accept that there's no right and wrong in that situation. And neither of us was going to understand the other or make a change. At the end of the day, there's no resolve.
Today - I am able to understand we grew into two different people. the relationship became something that wasn't working. I now understand I can't plead my case or change the way she feels. I accept that I can't change her feelings. And I feel at peace with the fact that it is what it is. The only thing I can do is focus on what is best and healthiest for me. What brings me the most peace.
A lot of learning to be at peace, to embrace the calm and neutral space inside you is learning to get to know YOU. It's understanding your feelings, being confident in who you are, and learning how you best fit into the world around you.
Digging deeper - confidence in yourself, who you are and where you exist in your space are truly the most critical characteristics you can have. Taking the time to be truly in tune with what makes you who you are, the good and the bad, gives you such an advantage in life. Know your triggers, know where you thrive, and be able to love you for all of those things.
Feelings are my least favorite things in the world. I've existed for 31 years with the tactic of ignoring emotions and it's all coming back to hit me smack in the face. The ability to have feelings, understand feelings, and communicate those feelings - I'm certain that makes you some kind of super hero. But seriously, having the awareness to know when you feel good, when you need a minute, and how to reset yourself to neutral is the ultimate level of zen. Harness that ninja skill and use it to save the world.
Learning where you fit - this means combining your confidence and awareness and choosing people and environments that help you maintain those qualities at a high level. It's realizing if you're triggered by loud and opinionated vibes - you maybe don't become my friend. It's knowing the type of situations and people who make you feel the most alive. They challenge you in a way that makes you feel growth but not so much that you feel bad about who you are.
Peace of mind is internal. It's working on all of these components to set yourself up for success. And then it's using those tools to help you understand how someone else feels, accept the situation for what it is, and find peace in it even if you don't find a solution to the situation.
Find peace and find that next level of living your best life as your best self. And then you #SparkleOn