I've heard it said recently that its really hard to be a man in a world surrounded by #MeToo. And to be completely honest with you, that's bullshit.
What I will concede is that it is a very confusing time to be a guy. So how do you react in a world where you feel intimidated by your every move? How do you know what to say to the women around you speaking up?
First and foremost, understand that staying silent is staying complacent with the status quo. Women need your support and we need your voice to make a change.
But where do you start?
Understand this isn't About You
Women do not hate you. We are not trying to emasculate you. Women do not blame all men. We do not think all men are horrible predators. This isn't about you. This is about the situational experiences of women each and every day in the most normal of circumstances and how we feel about the things that have happened, and continue to happen to us.
Ask Questions
Talk to the women closest to you and understand what #MeToo means to them. Engage in a conversation that affords you a safe space to ask questions and listen to honest responses. Take the time to speak to a couple different women to get different perspectives about the movement. There's no one story that embodies what's happening right now and unfortunately we all have a story.
Speak Up
We need your voice. We need you to say I am so sorry for what you've endured. We need a commitment from you to hold your friends, colleagues, and yourself accountable for helping prevent these instances from occurring. We need your voice to say I hear you, and I stand by you for speaking your truth. That's it.
Those are all lovely suggestions, but how do you put them into practice?
- See something, say something. A work, at the bar, at dinner with friends. When you see something that's not ok, speak up. Tell someone. Get help. Stop watching it happen.
- Reflect. Have you ever put anyone in a questionable situation? Have any guilt or confusion? Figure out where you may have crossed the line and be cognizant of that in the future.
- Provide support to the women who mean the most to you. Listen to them, offer resources for professional help. Show you care and follow through.
- Educate yourself. Google #TimesUp, read about #MeToo, do a little research through ACLU. Pickup a book from a survivor, browse one of the many studies out there with science to support our concerns.
- Be an activist. Attend a march, donate to one of the many foundations aiming to specifically create equal rights for women in the world. Write your congressmen. Vote for qualified women running for office.
- Get Socially Active. I think even having the courage to say you see what's happening and you don't condone it, that you support those speaking up is huge. It takes guts to put yourself out there publicly and we appreciate it.
It's only a terrible time to be a terrible guy. Be a good guy, and its always a great time to be a guy.