I grew up in a lovely little sheltered suburban community with more plant diversity than people diversity. Thankfully I had parents who exposed me to travel, an inner city track club, and spoke to me about being a good human. However, growing up I wouldn’t consider myself “woke” as the kids say.
Today there is a lot of pressure around being aware, involved and on the right side of history. And I’m here for that. I think its important to learn, grow, and be part of creating change. But I also don’t expect everyone to show up that way. We all grew up in different worlds with different levels of awareness. Often we aren’t “woke” until we take the time to force ourselves to be so.
I have not always been so aware and involved. I believe its important to say I’ve said horrible things before. Regardless of not meaning harm with my words, with joking, whatever the case may be, its wrong. I apologize for that, I understand where I was wrong. Chances are, a lot of us have been in the same boat. Where I believe the problem lies is with the constant need to shame people for who they were before they evolved.
It is entirely possible to start from a place of ignorance and choose to be better. When we constantly shame people for who they were while they’re trying to grow - it creates fear in them and prevents them from evolving. If you’re constantly told how horrible you are for who you were by a group that’s supposedly super “woke”, what’s the motivation to be part of that new circle? Personally, I welcome people willing to become a better person. I let them know the things that aren’t acceptable and help them understand where they went wrong in the past and then I help answer questions in a safe space moving forward.
We have to create safe spaces for learning and growing. Creating hostile communities for change only belittles the message and makes us just as bad as “the other side.” If you want to ask for change, equality, compassion - you must first embody that.
Living in Texas for two years, I encountered a lot of Southern traditional values. Including racism, homophobia, and sexism. And it breaks my heart every time. But I don’t get angry. I understand that in order to effect change, I have to be open to listening and having positive conversations. If someone isn’t willing to change, I wish them well and move on. Those aren’t the people who are going to change the world. Change will weed them out. But I’ll be damned if I am going to stoop to that level with hateful rhetoric. I’m going to be an open door for having the tough conversations, for asking the uncomfortable questions judgment free. Because THAT is how we encourage learning and growth.
We don’t all get it right the first time. I certainly haven’t always been the very model of what I believe and practice now and I’m sure there are STILL times I am not perfect, but I work towards it. And I welcome anyone else who would like to do so. I’m a safe space. Please feel free to come to me and know I’m not here to judge you if you’re open to learning and becoming a better person in the world. I’m grateful for you taking the chance to do so and I’d like to be someone you can trust in that process.