Live Loud, Silently.

Unless you post about it on the socials, people assume you're not living life. How weird is that? Like if you don't post about your relationship, your job, your weekend fun, it didn't happen. Call me crazy but the less I'm on social media, the more I'm living my fullest life.

And yet - if I'm social stalking someone and they haven't posted in awhile - haven't put up an IG photo with BAE - I assume they broke up. Which makes no sense.

Say it with me: Just because you choose not to post about it, doesn't mean it's not real.

Life is meant to be lived really loud. It's meant to travel, adventure, spend time with others, eat, drink, run - its meant for all of the activities. You go out and get the dream job. Go on the bucket list trip. Marry the love of your life. And at the same time, the bad things happen too. We get fired. We experience breakups. We lose loved ones. It's all part of the circle of existing in the world. Or as Lion King so eloquently taught us - the circle of life. Disney really did teach us everything we ever need to survive and thrive.

Social media doesn't have to be involved in every step of your journey. Some things are meant to be kept to yourself, there's an energy and joy in holding some things close to your soul. I personally love keeping secrets. I think its exciting to be the only one (or among a select few) to know something happening in the world. As someone who used to share everything about my life on the socials, I've learned the peace that comes with experiencing milestones without social involvement.

Ok lady but you write a blog in which you share some very personal things. you're absolutely correct. But I get to craft the content you're receiving. I don't share anything I don't want to share. And a lot of the gritty details of my experiences, I hold them back because they're my business, not yours. My social media, and my blog - they are authentic to who I am - but they are also only a small snippet of who I am. As always - social media is and always will be, a highlight reel.

I love photos - and I'm constantly on my phone snapping pictures. Sure, sometimes for the socials - but most often, to have the memories. I like to print the photos I take and send them to friends and family and I like to frame them for my home and office. I associate pictures with vivid feelings. And so I like to keep them near. They remind me of how lucky I am, how much I've grown, how many experiences I've been lucky enough to have.

And I'm also a big proponent of setting the phone down. Of experiencing things without posting them. Sure - share things that make you feel joy, and scrolling the feeds can often bring smiles and memories and engage you with people who greatly affect your life. Social media is a powerfully positive tool. But it's also powerfully negative. Log off. Set the phone down. Walk away. Experience whatever moment you are in for what it is. There's something freeing about being completely unavailable and silent on the socials.

Creating a healthy relationship with social media starts with being able to shut it down. To have perspective. And to be able to utilize it as an enhancement, not a life force.

We've become so obsessed with how we appear on social media we forget to actually live life.

Seriously - do you know the people who go on vacations and then save photos to use at a later date? It appears they're always traveling or on an adventure when realistically, they went on one trip for a week a year ago and just keep posting photos. Or how about the people who take 100 selfies and just post them at different times? And the posed food photos others take and store to make sure they have content available at all times. That's a lot of time and energy just to mold a perfectly crafted news feed.

I got so frustrated with one of my best friends on vacation because she always wanted posed photos of herself on our trip. What about photos of us? Or of the scenery? I get it - everyone deserves to do life how they choose - but I want to experience it all. And not worry about how I look doing it. I want time with the people and places that matter. (To be fair - not everyone does things the same way and we are more like sisters at this point so we are supposed to annoy each other lol).

I have friends who only post on certain days/times or certain amounts to maximize likes. Not because they're famous or sponsored or doing it for work, because they simply want likes. What do likes provide you? If your self worth is defined by how many likes you get - you've got a problem.

Am I going to completely get off social media? I'm not. I absolutely get caught up in it at times. There are even times in which I feel unhappy as a direct result of social media. And when that happens, I want to be able to recognize it and walk away. Even for a brief amount of time.

You don't owe anyone any part of your life that you don't want to share. In fact, life will become a lot more enjoyable and a lot more peaceful by not sharing more than you share. Share some things, save others. Log on and then spend time logged off. Make social media enjoyable, not a chore and not a burden. Live your life in the world super loud but live in online silently. You won't regret not posting, but you may regret posting.

Wild Heart

For the first 26 years of my life I lived in California.  I briefly spent about a year and a half in Los Angeles but for the majority of those 26 years I lived within 40 minutes of my hometown.  I had traveled a ton and experienced different cultures thanks to my parents, but I had never drifted far from my comfort zone.  

Then, in 2012, at the age of 26 - I took a risk and moved to Colorado.  I knew nobody, had only been once, and literally saw my apartment for the first time the day I moved in.  Talk about a 180.  I went from complete familiarity to wildly out of my comfort zone.  

And ever since - I've been addicted to that lifestyle. I've lived in 4 states since I moved to Colorado and I don't know if Ill ever stop.  I've grown this wild heart that gets joy from new opportunities and experiences.  The uncertainty of future adventures makes my blood pump in the very best way.

The way I choose to keep moving is often confusing for other people.  They assume I'm running from something or unable to find joy.  But for me, seeing people stand still is confusing.  With so much to see and so many places to go - how could you ever stick two feet in the ground and claim stake?  If there's one thing I've learned on my journey, it's to not pay much mind to the opinions of those who don't understand my lifestyle.  

Will I ever stop feeling the need to move on?  Probably.  I think when I find somewhere that feels right, in a job that feels good to go to everyday, when I finally find a heart that matches my beat, I'll stay put.  But until all those stars align, good luck keeping up.

None of the Things

I often speak in absolutes.  I want all of the foods.  I need all of the things.  But recently I've started realizing - I could probably do with less of the things - maybe just have some of the things and focus more on the experiences.

I've always had lots of things.  Clothes, shoes, technologies, accessories, home goods - I'm telling you - all of the things.  And the more I move - the more I discover new things I didn't know I had.  Clothes with the tags still on them that I purchased 3 years ago.  Shoes new in boxes that I bought a year ago.  A fancy running watch I wore probably a handful of times and then exchanged for the latest greatest Fitbit.  You get the point.  I own all the things and I'm basically a hoarder. 

So I started trying something new.  Every time I move I make a conscious effort to get real with myself about the things I own.  If I haven't worn something in 2 years, it goes in the donate pile.  When I moved from Arizona back to California - I donated 8 trash bags - yes those would be full size trash bags - of clothing.  I was also able to sell 2 full bags and make a profit of $300.  But being able to easily give away 8 big bags of my clothes - mind you this was the first time I cleansed so I was truly only getting rid of things I could easily part with - and I was still able to fill 8 bags.  The second time I cleansed - I was able to donate 3 more bags.  Realizing the amount of stuff I owned that was of no importance opened my eyes to how much money I was wasting on things.  Things that could instead be experiences.

I always talk about my bucket list.  And a lot of my bucket list items are expensive.  They're exotic trips, tickets to the biggest events in sports, meals at some hard to get into restaurants.  And I started to think - are the things I own worth giving up the bucket list experiences?  For me - they're not.  I don't need a new outfit more than I need a plane ticket to Maui.  I won't get more happiness from an expensive haircut than I will from going to the National Championship football game.  I'll absolutely enjoy drinking wine in Italy more than that expensive kitchen table I've been eyeing. 

Mind you I've also never had time for experiences before.  A lot of my bucket list items were checked off because of work trips and work experiences.  But now that I've made a commitment to a work life balance - I've got all this time to do things and not a lot of extra cash to make it happen.

So I changed my focus.  I'm a conscious buyer now.  When I'm shopping, when I'm out with friends, basically when I'm doing anything I'm asking myself is this a need or a want?  If I don't spend $50 on this - can I put it towards my next experience?  And while I'm not ready to book my South African Safari, I am closer than I was six months ago.  And if I continue on this path - I'll be able to continue checking off bucket list items.  And for me - those experiences are what make my life feel so full.  It's not the shoes and clothes and fancy kitchen items I'll remember - it's the feelings I'll get from being able to adventure.  It's the relationships I'll build on unforgettable trips.  And it's witnessing sports history, laying down on the field at Alabama - and it's getting uncomfortable and growing doing things I never thought I could.  Keep all the things - I want all the experiences.