Live Loud, Silently.

Unless you post about it on the socials, people assume you're not living life. How weird is that? Like if you don't post about your relationship, your job, your weekend fun, it didn't happen. Call me crazy but the less I'm on social media, the more I'm living my fullest life.

And yet - if I'm social stalking someone and they haven't posted in awhile - haven't put up an IG photo with BAE - I assume they broke up. Which makes no sense.

Say it with me: Just because you choose not to post about it, doesn't mean it's not real.

Life is meant to be lived really loud. It's meant to travel, adventure, spend time with others, eat, drink, run - its meant for all of the activities. You go out and get the dream job. Go on the bucket list trip. Marry the love of your life. And at the same time, the bad things happen too. We get fired. We experience breakups. We lose loved ones. It's all part of the circle of existing in the world. Or as Lion King so eloquently taught us - the circle of life. Disney really did teach us everything we ever need to survive and thrive.

Social media doesn't have to be involved in every step of your journey. Some things are meant to be kept to yourself, there's an energy and joy in holding some things close to your soul. I personally love keeping secrets. I think its exciting to be the only one (or among a select few) to know something happening in the world. As someone who used to share everything about my life on the socials, I've learned the peace that comes with experiencing milestones without social involvement.

Ok lady but you write a blog in which you share some very personal things. you're absolutely correct. But I get to craft the content you're receiving. I don't share anything I don't want to share. And a lot of the gritty details of my experiences, I hold them back because they're my business, not yours. My social media, and my blog - they are authentic to who I am - but they are also only a small snippet of who I am. As always - social media is and always will be, a highlight reel.

I love photos - and I'm constantly on my phone snapping pictures. Sure, sometimes for the socials - but most often, to have the memories. I like to print the photos I take and send them to friends and family and I like to frame them for my home and office. I associate pictures with vivid feelings. And so I like to keep them near. They remind me of how lucky I am, how much I've grown, how many experiences I've been lucky enough to have.

And I'm also a big proponent of setting the phone down. Of experiencing things without posting them. Sure - share things that make you feel joy, and scrolling the feeds can often bring smiles and memories and engage you with people who greatly affect your life. Social media is a powerfully positive tool. But it's also powerfully negative. Log off. Set the phone down. Walk away. Experience whatever moment you are in for what it is. There's something freeing about being completely unavailable and silent on the socials.

Creating a healthy relationship with social media starts with being able to shut it down. To have perspective. And to be able to utilize it as an enhancement, not a life force.

We've become so obsessed with how we appear on social media we forget to actually live life.

Seriously - do you know the people who go on vacations and then save photos to use at a later date? It appears they're always traveling or on an adventure when realistically, they went on one trip for a week a year ago and just keep posting photos. Or how about the people who take 100 selfies and just post them at different times? And the posed food photos others take and store to make sure they have content available at all times. That's a lot of time and energy just to mold a perfectly crafted news feed.

I got so frustrated with one of my best friends on vacation because she always wanted posed photos of herself on our trip. What about photos of us? Or of the scenery? I get it - everyone deserves to do life how they choose - but I want to experience it all. And not worry about how I look doing it. I want time with the people and places that matter. (To be fair - not everyone does things the same way and we are more like sisters at this point so we are supposed to annoy each other lol).

I have friends who only post on certain days/times or certain amounts to maximize likes. Not because they're famous or sponsored or doing it for work, because they simply want likes. What do likes provide you? If your self worth is defined by how many likes you get - you've got a problem.

Am I going to completely get off social media? I'm not. I absolutely get caught up in it at times. There are even times in which I feel unhappy as a direct result of social media. And when that happens, I want to be able to recognize it and walk away. Even for a brief amount of time.

You don't owe anyone any part of your life that you don't want to share. In fact, life will become a lot more enjoyable and a lot more peaceful by not sharing more than you share. Share some things, save others. Log on and then spend time logged off. Make social media enjoyable, not a chore and not a burden. Live your life in the world super loud but live in online silently. You won't regret not posting, but you may regret posting.

LinkedIn - The New Facebook?

Our entire lives are based in social media.  You've got Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and about 1,000 other platforms I'm blissfully unaware of.  LinkedIn has become the social media for business.  And with the importance of networking, it's a extremely useful tool for building your relationships and showcasing your work.  But recently I've noticed that the line between Facebook and LinkedIn have been crossing paths quite often.  And what used to be a really great resource for business is quickly becoming just another version of Facebook.

I like boundaries.  I strongly believe in having boundaries in the workplace and keeping personal and professional lives separate.  You don't discuss politics, relationships, or personal issues in the workplace.  For me, LinkedIn is an extension of the business world.  I utilize a professional photo, my status updated are related to my career, and when I engage with others its for business reasons. 

More and more I'm seeing questionably appropriate photos, political rants, and receiving romantically laced emails inquiring about my relationship status or complimenting my appearance. When I see people who are utilizing LinkedIn in this way, I remove them from my network.  And I sincerely hope if you respect yourself as a career person, you will too. 

I'm unsure if people feel its a safe space because they're behind a computer, but in the workplace, these things wouldn't fly.  They wouldn't be appropriate and the people engaging in this way wouldn't be people you respect in business.  LinkedIn is a space where you specifically post your resume and identify your employer.  One would then argue that you are in fact a representative of your employer while engaging in this space.  With that in mind, would you still be engaging on LinkedIn in the manner you are currently doing so? 

Personally, I disengage and I think twice before doing business with anyone who takes this space to a personal, social level.  I question their ability to be effective at their job and to be able to separate business and personal.  If I question your judgment on the internet, I certainly don't have time to risk working with you in the real world.

I really enjoy LinkedIn.  I value the networking aspect and the ability to utilize the website to learn and grow and showcase myself and my company.  I don't think its asking too much to expect reasonable adults to think before they engage in a professional networking space. But it takes accountability and choosing not to engage with people who abuse the network.  Think before you post in general, but use common sense when you're on a website specifically representing you as a career person, and don't be caught out of turn.