Girl Gang

Do you guys remember when girls used to say "most of my friends are guys" or "I don't really get along well with other girls"?  Well I do - because I have absolutely been that girl and I cannot roll my eyes any harder at myself.

Thankfully - I've evolved and even more important, the world has evolved and we are in a fierce lady movement.  

As I was feeling extra grateful for the women in my life - I started to dig deeper into how I used to be the guy's girl and why I felt so proud of that label.  

I grew up a tomboy. An athlete.  Naturally, I was always around the boys.  I thrived on being well liked by men and identifying as someone they selected to be part of the inner circle.  I would poke fun at the women they poked fun at, roll my eyes at the girly girls, and pretended I was nothing like those girls.

Obviously I had all kinds of self esteem issues or I would have recognized that I was being just as awful as I pretended those other girls were.  But digging deeper - I think I had ingrained my value in what men thought of me.  And that I had to mold myself into what men wanted me to be.

I know what you're thinking and yes, this absolutely carried over into my dating life for a really long time.  I aimed to please; covered up my real self in order to be the perfect woman.  

Only until I discovered the importance of fierce lady friends did I truly learn to develop myself into the strong confident bad ass that you now see in front of you.  

Here's what I know for sure: Women who don't have female friends are not to be trusted.

I am more loving, fierce, and motivated because of the women in my life.  I am less judgmental, scared, and people pleasing because of the female influences around me. 

Don't get me wrong - my very best pal in the world is a man.  And he's the best out there.  But there's just something as a friend he cannot provide me as a man.  He keeps it real with me, encourages me to be everything I dream of, and he puts up with my psychotic breakdowns, but at the end of the day, I'm a girl.  And a girl needs other girls to relate to.

I think of my girl gang as my secret agents.  They're able to give me the heads up, the inside scoop, and the life lessons that go along with being female.  Chances are one of us has been through it, bought it, tried it - and has the down low for the rest of the squad.  

I'm not like other women.  I sometimes don't get along with types of women.  But I have a lot of female friends and I am thankful that they have taught me it's a damn good thing women are all different and don't all get along.  And because of that - I can appreciate and respect women can be and are whatever they want to be - but being one thing to fit one mold - is not it.  

Being a Woman.

Being born a woman is a disability.  From the minute we are brought into the world, we are told how to act and who to be.  We are told to be feminine but not high maintenance.  We are expected to succeed at work but not let that take away from being a mom.  We are shown that our bodies are only beautiful if we mold them a certain way and how to do our makeup so we hide any flaws. 

Being a woman is navigating a maze.  It's being nice but not too nice so that we aren't a tease.  It's having opinions but not too many because we wouldn't want to be seen as bossy.  Being a woman is worrying about being called a slut but being a porn star for our men at home.  It's being fit but not manly and muscular.

Life as a woman is existing in a place where life is a competition between other women.  We are taught to compete with other women, to compare ourselves to them and value ourselves based upon how we measure up.  We talk behind each other's backs and we sabotage each other in work and in relationships. 

I'm a woman.  And I don't want to be what it means to be a woman as I was brought into this world to believe.  I want to love myself for the loud, sassy, sparkly person that I am.  I need to feel value and success at work and have a partner to create a team at home.  I refuse to compete with other women and I vow to uplift my fellow boss babes in work and in life.  I choose to think I am beautiful, flaws and all.  And I am strong because of my muscles and scars.  I will not let anyone dictate my sex life but me.  I will never feel shame for whatever that life is for me.  Above all - I will dedicate my life to equality - amongst men and women.  And I will value people based on how great they are as a human being.  I will not be defined by gender roles and if I'm lucky enough one day to raise children, I will take the responsibility of raising them to believe in equality very seriously. 

Being a woman today is hard.  But it's also an opportunity. An opportunity to change the way we exist in the world.  Talk to the women around you - get to know what being a woman means to them.  And even if the way they live is not for you - tell them you're proud they're living life as they feel most authentic as a woman.  Because truly, being a woman is really kind of awesome.