Independent(ish)

I grew up in a suburban upper middle class community. I’ve always been a bit sheltered when it comes to life skills. I’ve been lucky enough that my entire life my parents have empowered me but also have taken care of things from being there for medical appointments to managing all my car needs. So for more of my life I’ve been comfortable in that space. I can call them for questions from broken microwaves to how to get my oil changed.

As I’ve grown up, I’ve found that it’s really important not to rely on others for those things. I’ll admit I took a bit longer to do so but I’m at a point where I truly have the confidence in knowing I can do anything and rely on myself in any situation. And that feels amazing.

I get it - what a privilege to have been able to be cared for in such a way. I agree. I appreciate it. I appreciate how independent I am even more.

I just got back from a few weeks in Europe. When we travel, I am the one you can count on to step up and take charge. I do need to sit back at times and allow others to step up, but I am extremely proud of the fact that in a foreign country, I got me.

I’m able to navigate where I’m at, where to go, how to manage a language barrier, what to pay, how to order - I have full confidence that you want me in your corner for surviving abroad.

Yet - I still get anxiety for things like buying a car, understanding health insurance - the adulting part of life.

Here’s the thing, I used to think I had to be able to do all the things to be an adult. To prove I can do it all. Reality? I do have a support system and people I can rely on to help get me through the things I don’t know a whole lot about.

That’s ok.

Who says we have to know it all and do it all to be considered an adult? Why is it shameful to say help me out? It shouldn’t be.

I’m sort of independent(ish) in that yea, I can survive and I can figure anything out if I have to, but it’s 2019, I have people to help me, and I’m going to let them. That’s not being a princess, that’s being smart.

Cut yourself a break if you’re like me and you can manage the big things but need extra help with the little things. You be that independent(ish) babe and own what you know and be smart enough to ask for help when you don’t.

Who said having it all means you have to do it all yourself?

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

We are going to do Independence day a little differently this year.  I'm all in for celebrating America, but this time, I'm celebrating the independence of the United States of ME.

It's been a year (or like 200 years) of trying to figure out how to be this badass human on my own.  To stand as me, for me, and to not apologize for that.

So this 4th of July, I'm going to celebrate all of the things that make me an independent human being. Big or small - we gonna celebrate them all!  And in keeping with my no apologies sentiment of late, I'm not going to provide an explanation for these reasons I'm celebrating. It doesn't matter, all that matters is that I value them.

I pay my own bills

I've moved to three states where I haven't known a soul

I got the dream job

I left the dream job

I broke up with the person who was wrong for me

I walked away from the amazing job offer that couldn't pay me my value

I expressed my feelings to a friend who wasn't making me feel appreciated

I committed to the hard cutoff 

I said I miss you

I traveled to Europe for two weeks

I have kept up my blog for almost two years

I learned how to schedule self care and stick with it

I got a side hustle, and made it successful

I paid off debt

I found a fitness routine that I'm in love with

I stood up against injustice 

I got educated and took steps towards preventing familial cancer

I've done a lot.  And taken a lot of steps that I'm very proud of.  I've got a lot of goals and steps towards being even more independent, but I'm proud of myself and how far I've come to better myself.