OOOOO WEE that was a long one! Here in the Bay Area we have been on a shelter in place for almost 3 months. And while I know a whole lot of people who didn’t take that seriously (aka crappy humans), I and my family & most of my friends really did.
Everyone says the world will be forever changed. Which seems obvious. We’ve gone through a global pandemic. Changing how we interact with each other, how we do business, and what we deem essential.
As I make my way back into my new normal, I’m taking the time to think about what I want to take with me and what I’d like to leave behind from before this all started.
When I think about the things I’d like to let go of (or make a solid effort to because old habits die hard), here’s what I’ve narrowed my list down to:
Things: Yes, my last piece was about the ridiculous things I’ve purchased on Amazon but for the most part, I’m learning that the things I think I need, I don’t. They’re just things. I can get by on less. I cleaned out my closet twice during the shelter in place and came up with five giant garbage bags of clothes, shoes, accessories - things - I can live without. I’m still going to make some impulse buys, but I’m really going to choose to be thoughtful about my purchases and whether or not I need them or they’re cluttering my home and life.
Prioritizing Work: I have always put work first. I am driven to succeed and that will not change. I am going to choose to set better boundaries at work and realize that my entire life cannot revolve around work. I started to notice that it controlled my mood, my self worth and guided most decisions. Then the world stopped and my life wasn’t 24/7 work. I didn’t want it to be. I wanted to see my friend and family, I wanted to explore, and I wanted to do more than just work. I’ll still be a high achiever, but that’s possible in a healthier way.
Helping Others: I am a giver. Truly being able to be financially stable has made me happiest because I can give back to those around me who are important to me. Yet I’m also really getting a new perspective on letting that guide my everyday. I want to work on things that help others and solve the world’s problems. Thankfully I am at a company that allows for that to happen in my work life. In my personal life, I want to continue to be an advocate for those who don’t have my privilege. I want to keep talking about women’s healthcare and the rights to make choices about our own bodies. And I want to be even more mindful about where I spend my money so that I am not supporting businesses and people who do not prioritize doing the right thing. I want to let go of buying to buy or giving to give and I want to be intentional about where my money goes to ensure it’s supporting the things I believe in.
When I think about what I want to carry with me from this into the new world, here’s my focus:
Say No: I am going to stop with the pressures of saying yes just to say yes. I’m going to get over the anxiety I get in saying no to things I think I “should” be doing. I don’t know when or if something like this will happen again. I don’t know when I won’t have the opportunity to see someone else again. And I’ve also seen some people take really ugly selfish actions during this time. I’m going to say no to the people and things that don’t bring me joy. Instead I am going to make sure that I’m putting my time and energy into the people who mean the most and who show me I mean the most to them.
Travel: I miss travel more than anything. I never really thought about how big a role it plays in my life but when I reflect back, I’m generally on an airplane or in the car on the way to an adventure more than I am not. While financially my goal is to own a home soon (not in California…those who know me well can guess where I’ll be headed to next), I am also going to get back to traveling. Not sure how realistic getting out of the country is in 2020, but there are plenty of places in the United States worth visiting. And a whole lot of loved ones to see in this beautiful country.
Vulnerability: I have always been very resilient. For the first month or so of this thing, I was perfectly content being at home. When month two hit, I started to struggle with anxiety, PTSD, and some depression that I had never experienced before. I didn’t know how to handle it. I used my tools, went to therapy but I was still struggling. Still am sometimes if I’m being honest. As much as I talk about my mental health, I still keep things pretty close to the chest. I was forced to open up to some of my friends and family though because I flat out needed help. I hope to continue to find the strength to do that. It’s incredibly scary and I am incredibly self conscious about it, but I feel closer to the people who matter most when I risk that vulnerability.
Finally, I hope that as a world we learn empathy. I hope that despite a truly disgusting time in America led by a horrific President, we choose to fight back with love. So many people have chosen to give back to complete strangers because of a belief in doing the right thing. We as an entire global community have to exist together with the resources we are given. It’s impossible to keep things going in a positive direction without remembering that. I would rather make the world better for as many people as possible than only have a select few thrive. If that means I have to give up a little bit of what I’ve got so someone else can feed their family, sign me up.
A global pandemic is really not something I ever thought we’d face in my lifetime. It’s been like a movie and something I’m very much living but also extremely detached from. Because I have a job, healthcare benefits, a roof over my head and a support system — I have been able to treat this as a bit of a break from chaos. I even think it’s been healthy for me in many ways. I also firmly believe that Mother Nature was screaming and we weren’t listening and so she decided to take action.
Look — I get it, I’m one of the lucky ones in all of this. So because I have been, I’m going to count my blessings, see the silver lining, and let this time push me to be a better person for myself and others.
I hope that even if you haven’t been so lucky, you take the time to reflect on what you can leave behind and what you can renew as we all come together in our new reality.