Santa - I know him!

Merry Christmas all! It’s been quite some time since I believed in Santa Claus, but I certainly still believe in the magic of the Holiday Season! I wanted to talk a little bit about how my family has chosen to handle presents as we’ve gotten older.

My brother and I are both grown adults. And while our level of adulting is often questionable, we can essentially buy the things we want and need in life. We are also very lucky and have truly never wanted for anything. I am very aware of how lucky I am and very much in a position to give back.

So in my family we have decided to forego big presents. We do stockings and that’s it. And yes, we are lucky to do that because our stocking stuffers are still very generous and very much appreciated.

But outside of that, we each choose a charity We are each passionate about and donate an amount of our choice. For me, giving back is more important in life than receiving. I love gifts, don’t get me wrong but the state of our union lately just inspires me to give more than I receive.

I’m really passionate about a lot of issues in the world. I speak up about them a lot. In my opinion, that means I better be putting my money where my mouth is, especially during the Holiday Season.

Santa has been kind to me over the years. Really kind. And life is really kind to me year round. It’s my turn to be Santa for those that aren’t as lucky as I am. I encourage you to give back this Holiday Season — whatever that looks like to you. Financially, with your time - however you are able to give, do so. It matters.

All the things.

I’m a big fan of things. I genuinely try the live simple lifestyle but in all reality, I like my things. 

For the past two months, I’ve lived in corporate housing. I put all my things in storage and have lived out of two suitcases for 60 days.  

When I started this journey, I was convinced I’d Immediately realize how much I don’t need and finally embrace minimalism. I’d become super enlightened and learn to make 182 outfits out of a white t shirt and jeans. I’d grow to wear simple staple jewelry and two pairs of shoes and just be endlessly chic.

That is not what happened. I am not chic. I do however thrive off wearing the same version of an outfit over and over. That is my lane. 

Fashion aside though - there’s a darkness’s to this all. 

Hard truth? I miss my stuff.  

While it has been pretty easy to get by with minimal outfits and shoe selections, I miss my photos, kitchen goods, bedding, the whole damn kit and kaboodle. 

Oddly, it makes me feel more thankful for the things that are mine. Not the stuff that clutters up my space, but the things that remind me of all the experiences and people who make me whole.

From the photos I print of all the places I’ve been to the plates that were my parents first set they ever owned - I like having things that make me feel at home. 

I will never be able to exist as that woman you read about who has a rug, a vintage couch and a Levi jacket from 1984 and just is happy and whimsical. I can’t live off 3 things.  

Things aren’t all bad. Things are to be held onto very tightly when they are the right things. 

I’d say continue to strive for minimalism, but in a new way. Minimize the clutter. But maximize the things in your life that give you joy. It’s not about having all the things, just all the things that make you feel something special.  

Cut yourself a break if you’re like me and minimalism just isn’t going to be an all in commitment.  

This Christmas, I hope Santa brings you all kinds of goodies. And I hope that while you enjoy some of the things that are superficial, I hope that you remember the things that aren’t. 

2018 Love.

Ah yes - the generation of the swipe.  In 2018, true love is found behind our cell phones, in our sweat pants, judging people based on looks and witty profile opening lines.  What a time to be alive.

While I'm thankful dating in our generation is not what it was in the 1950's or really even the 1990's - I often long for the traditions of love's past.  

It's Valentine's Day, a time Hallmark has designated to spend our money on diamonds, chocolates, fancy dinners and awkwardly flimsy lingerie.  I'll be honest, I like V-Day.  I don't really care if you want to call it single's awareness day, propose to your significant other, or choose to boycott it's corporate significance.  I'm into the shiny things and I like to celebrate love.  

I'm 32, a lot of my friends are married, in serious relationships, or worried about finding the one.  And it's got me reflecting on dating in 2018 and how much it kind of sucks.  

I'm not blaming men, I'm not blaming women - I'm not generally a fan of blaming anyone unless we can accompany that with some solutions.  But generationally, because we rely so much on technology, we have become to rely on that same technology for human relationships.

The thing is - technology does not account for human feelings, interactions, or flaws.  You can fill out a profile, swipe right - do all the things technology swears by in order to provide you your soulmate but at the end of the day, it can still fail.

There's no science to love.  No magic formula.  And in a world where we put so much effort into the technology of dating, I think we are missing out on organic love.  Because we can so easily find the next best mate, our choice to give up on what's in front of us becomes the go to move.

Relationships are not easy.  There is no perfect partner.  I'm not saying put up with abuse, in fact, never put up with any form of abuse, ever.  But there's something to be said for understanding that love ain't easy.  You will not always be happy in your relationship.  You will not always like your partner.  But you should understand the compromise that needs to happen, the effort that maintaining a lifetime takes, and be committed to your mate because despite those real life problems, that's your chosen lover.  

Every day, you have to choose each other.  The love I admire the most in life are the people who go through all the things life throws at them and every day they wake up and they say I choose you because we are a team and I don't want to swipe right on someone else just because we've had a few bumps in the road.  

In 2018 dating is hard.  I don't really know anyone who meets anyone organically anymore.  I think it takes more work to find a mate in 2018.  An actual commitment to finding someone you can stand for a long period of time.  Whether I like it or not, I'm probably going to have to succumb and stick with this online dating business to find some viable options.  

Dating in 2018 is weird.  Its the guy who asks you when you'll have sex with a new partner within the first 20 minutes of the first date.  It's the guy who doesn't believe women should work.  It's the guy who takes you on a bar crawl and does shots for your initial meeting.  But it's also reconnecting with acquaintances you look at differently.  It's men who take you on a hunt to find the best mac n cheese in Texas.  It's the guy you meet at a friend's party who nervously asks if you'd like to go to dinner.  

We can blame dating today on technology, and we aren't wrong.  But does that mean love isn't out there?  It doesn't.  It means dating is a little different, a little more work - but it's still worth it if for your life means finding a teammate to do all the bumps in the road with.  So love in 2018, it's kind of a nightmare, but so am I sometimes, and at the end of the day, I'm also one hell of a catch.