Hard Knock Life

Everyone has hard times.  Everyone goes through unpleasant sometimes devastating situations.  My whole life I've been taught to downplay my own feelings during these times because someone else always has it worse.   And that's true.  But just because someone else has it worse, doesn't mean that I can't have a bad day too.  The more you brush off your pain, the less you allow yourself to process that pain, the more it builds up and the worse off you are long term.

Now there is absolutely something to be said for having perspective and realizing where your problems are on the grand scale of life but its more than ok to take a moment to be sad, hurt, mad, or struggle with what you're going through too. 

I hear a lot of people who have been raised on the same philosophy.  When they tell me about something hard going on in their life, they often qualify it with "I know I'm lucky and don't have a right to complain." and that's part of the problem.  You do have a right to complain.  You're not disqualifying the hardships of others simply because you need to talk about something you're going through.

I've learned that because I spent so many years not feeling the hard things in my life, I'm not as equipped to deal with them in the most successful way.  I ignore problems until they get overwhelming.  I push feelings down until they become unmanageable.  I refuse to talk about things until I'm at my breaking point.  And had I taken the time to check in with myself when these situations occur, they would probably be a lot smaller issues and be easy to overcome. 

The point is - life is hard.  We all go through things.  Some are harder some are easier.  Some of us deal with things better than others.  But just because someone else is going through something worse does not mean you cannot feel pain.  Keep perspective but absolutely talk and feel whatever you're feeling so that you can more quickly and successfully move on from the negative situation and back into your sparkliest life.

Rainbows and Unicorns

I've had a lot of people lately tell me that they've always assumed I've lived this perfect life.  A life where everything is unicorns and rainbows.  They assume I've been blessed with it all and that's why I'm such a happy person who talks about glitter and sparkles nonstop. 

And those observations have blown me away.  My life is not perfect.  I do not have it all.  My family isn't perfect.  I am not perfect.  But what I am proud of is that in spite of it all - I radiate sparkles and glitter.

I'm not generally one to talk about the hard times and the problems.  But they're there.  This last year has been the absolute most painful and challenging year of my life.  I have felt completely broken, lost, scared, and unsure of the future. 

I haven't talked about it with a lot of people.  But I'm learning to talk.  And I'm learning to ask for help.  I'm learning how to say I'm not okay.  I'm still not going to share all my trials and tribulations with the world.  My struggles and my triumphs are to be endured and celebrated with the people who mean the most to me. 

However, in an effort to be real and to be a source of relatable engagement for you, I want you to know that I have lived far from a life of unicorns and rainbows.  I have not been gifted an easy life.  And I don't ever want anyone thinking that I have.  But I also won't ever apologize for choosing to focus on the good.  When I suffer, I do so privately.  I pick and choose what I share with the world because I truly believe the biggest moments of your life aren't for the world to see.  They're for you and your chosen circle to handle together.  The good and the bad.  And then you go out into the world and you fight to make it sparkle. 

I don't want to put my negative and hard times out there not because I'm faking my happiness - because I choose to actually live happy.  To believe that in spite of hard times, life is pretty dang good.  Life isn't easy and its often painful.  You can't control what happens to you but what's the point of dwelling on the negative?  How do you expect to have a good life if you don't focus on the good? 

My life will never be rainbows and unicorns.  And I don't need to explain the things I've gone through.  It's not a contest and it doesn't make me anymore human.   I don't feel the need to justify my attitude.  What does make me human is admitting my life isn't easy.  And saying so what - life isn't meant to be easy.  If you always assumed I was this perfect human handed the golden ticket - then I'm doing something right - because the golden ticket is choosing joy, choosing sparkle, and choosing the energy you put into the world. 

#SparkleOn