Love Thyself

Valentine’s Day is upon us and although I really don’t talk much about my relationship status, I do love to talk about my love for myself! So this Valentine’s Day I want to celebrate loving yourself!

The greatest relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself — celebrate that and get yourself a gift this Valentine’s Day! Whether you can afford an actual gift or just a night in to yourself, here are some amazing ways to love thyself for every budget!

Spa Day

Spend: Book a whole day at a spa! Schedule a massage, facial, the works! While you’rethere, make use of the sauna and any meditation or yoga classes offered! High end spas have some very safe protocols in place!

Save: Create a spa at home! Light a candle,turn on some music, take a bubble bath and do a face mask! While you’re at it, paint those nails and exfoliate that skin!

Decadent Meal

Spend: Make a reservation at a restaurant you’ve always wanted to splurge on, and go ahead and order dessert (outdoors only please!).

Save: Either order in some takeout from a local restaurant (bonus points for supporting local!) or cook a meal at home. There’s plenty of good wine for under $15 to enjoy while you dine!

Shopping Spree

Spend: Had your eye on that gorgeous coat? BUY IT! Wanted those expensive boots but couldn’t justify the cost? Time to hit purchase! Get yourself something you’ve really wanted, you deserve it!

Save: Hit up a local thrift store! The thrill of the hunt is so much fun and bonus points, it’s great for the environment!

Fitness Fun

Spend: Pay for a private lesson to the studio you fell in love with. It’s a great way to take your workout to the next level and get some 1:1 adjustments to make future workouts better!

Save: Take an online class or get outside and enjoy a hike in nature. There are so many ways to enjoy classes without paying the private price tag. You could also sign up for the first class free pass at that fancy studio around the corner!

Flower Delivery

Spend: Call up the local florist and treat yourself to a monthly delivery. Setup 6 months of a monthly boquet to have something pretty to look forward to.

Save: Hit up Trader Joes and spend $20 on florals. Take them home and watch a YouTube video on floral arrangements! Better yet, if you’ve got a Farmer’s Market nearby, buy local!

Whatever your budget, whatever your relationship status, there’s a self love celebration to be had. Valentine’s Day is a beautifully cheesy day to show love for the number one person in your life - YOU!

Love is Patient

I lack patience. In every situation. I’m willing to put in the work, but at the first sign of foolish games, I’m out. A lot of people have accused me of being unrealistic in love. In giving up too easily. In walking away far too quickly.

And they’re wrong.

I believed them for a hot minute and so I spent time chasing men I shouldn’t have. Giving out second chances, and staying put when I should have dead sprinted away.

In 2019, I am a Lizzo mood. I’m not here for your games. I’m not patient. I’m not wasting my time. If you want to be captain waste her time, I’m going to catch the first flight out and I’m not scheduling a return.

Love is patient. Love is hard. Love takes work. When it’s the right person, a healthy relationship you need to be patient and put that work in. But lately I’m seeing the same people who tell me I’m too quick to cut ties putting up with a whole lot of bullshit.

There is a difference between working for love and making love work.

You should never have to work for love, but you can make love work. Hear me out. Working for love means you have to mold yourself for the love to work. Making love work is adapting the situation - together - for the love to fit your lifestyle. For the right person.

I’m a romantic. Shocking I know. I believe in love and that there are a lot of good men. I believe the fairy tale exists but my fairy tale isn’t castles and white horses - it’s mutual respect, laughter, and pushing ourselves to achieve our dreams. It’s having a cheerleader, best friend, and adventurer.

So when someone doesn’t fit this mold, hell yea I GTFO. Quickly. Lightening speed.

I am a genuinely happy woman. Being single doesn’t scare me. It doesn’t make me sad. I don’t feel shame for being 33 and unmarried. I’m not putting up a front with my confidence and joy. I am truly ridiculously happy.

That being said, I absolutely want to have someone to do life with. I’m very open to it. And I know with the right person, it’s such a beautiful thing.

Which is probably why with the wrong person, it’s such a horribly demoralizing all consuming thing.

I’ve dated a lot. I’ve been in multiple serious relationships. I’ve done the flings. I’ve had a one night stand or two. I’ve done all the things when it comes to love. So I know what works for me. And being alone does not scare me. But being in the wrong relationship does.

Marriage - a partner for life - that is something I take very seriously. I don’t want to do it more than once if I can help it.

Love is patient because its not in a rush to give you the best it has to offer. It has timing and life circumstances and growth and about a million other factors it has to align with in order to bring out the real deal.

I’m ok with however long that takes.

I am not ok with wasting my time for the wrong love. 100 years spent alone is 100X better than 100 years in the wrong love.

So yea, I walk away. I don’t chase. I quit the game before I cross the start line. If that means I miss out on the ok love - I’m fine with that. Because I’ve got a whole lot of big love for myself - and a whole list of adventures to be on until the real deal comes along.

And if I don’t find the real deal - or I cause myself to miss it - ya know what? Is that really the worst thing in the world? Because I just don’t think it is.