How to do the work

It is an absolute shit show out there in America. And the balance between being informed and needing to dissasociate in order to survive is a slippery slope. If you’re like me, you want to do your part but often feel overwhelmed with where to start. I’ve got some ideas I wanted to share in case you’re ready to jump in and get us on the long road to change.

Educate yourself and those around you

The reason those in charge are getting rid of the department of education and removing history is because they want you uneducated. If you’re uneducated you’re easily confused and more likely to buy into false narratives. Invest in local news, reputable sources and educate yourself on the facts. Call out ignorance and fake news when you see it. Tell folks when they’re listening to sources that are not based in truth. Refuse to buy into the lies and know the difference between facts and opinions.

Start Local

Long term change starts local. So find an organization (or two!) that you’re passionate about and donate your time and money to that space. You don’t need to spend 40+ hours and all your money doing this. Take an hour a month and work your way up to whatever works for you. Give $5 one time and work your way up to a manageable number long term for your budget. Local organizations are how we build community, empower local politicians, and save lives. The small town mayor fighting for women’s rights becomes a DC senator because we supported them at the start. Starting local is the number one way to drive change.

Bring your values to work

Do you work at a company that supports doing the right thing? Learn into that. Find out if they match donations. If you work at a company that doesn’t support your values and you can’t afford to quit, find ways to hire vendors and support small businesses that align with your values. Hire the small town LGBTQ+ Baker. Buy alcohol from the Black owned winemaker down the street.

Make Calls

5calls.org is the easiest way to call your local politicians. They help you find the right folks to make your voice heard as well as provide scripts for the issues that matter most to you. Calls to political representatives are up some 600% in the last few weeks. These elected officials are listening and they’re using your voice to enact change. Do not let up.

Show up

Protests are happening everywhere. Grab a friend and show up. Make a sign and memorize a chant. Along with making calls, this is such an impactful way to make sure your voice is heard.

There are more of us than there are billionaires running this country. It is on us to make our voices heard and fight for change. They want us discouraged and beaten down. If you need to take a break, take a break. And then get back in the fight. It’s going to take years to create the change we want and need, don’t give up.

Ears Closed

Lately - everyone wants to talk, but nobody wants to listen.  For some reason, politics have become more divisive than ever.  It's seemingly very important to have two distinct categories of people - liberal and conservative.  

Instead of engaging in meaningful conversation - discussion even - we are at odds in a way that lends  itself to fierce battle.  If someone disagrees with you, there's a heated back and forth until someone finally gives up, shoots a hateful retort and leaves the conversation.  Ultimately this leads to one person accusing the other of being unable to accept anyone who isn't like them.  and the other person accusing that first person of being hateful and ignorant.  And so the cycle continues.

Some things we all need to understand to create an environment conducive to change:

1. There is ONE side here, it's humanity.  We all live here, we all have to find a way to make it work or shit's about to get really unsafe for us all.  
2. We all have to give up some pride and be willing to truly listen and be open to a middle ground
3. Not one person EVER needs to accept hate, ignorance, or bigotry into their world.  If you are engaging with someone who simply does not understand they are speaking from a place of privilege, racism, sexism - remove yourself from that situation.  That's not refusing to accept a different opinion, that's refusing to accept we have to continue the cycle we are currently in.
4. Time is up.  We don't have anymore time to keep fighting each other.  Compromises have to be made and action has to be taken. NOW

I'm going to keep it 100 - I threw up in my purse hungover less than six months ago, so relying on me for all of the answers, that's probably not how we should save the world.  But I think we can look to me for some guidance on how to start engaging in a better way.  And even if we can't, I'm going to try.

1. Communicate: Talk with others, not to them.  It's respectable to stand by your opinion, but sometimes it's important to understand when your opinion isn't relevant, respectful, or productive.  Stop already crafting a response to someone's opinion before you've even heard what they have to say.  Everyone wants to peak but nobody wants to listen.  For example.  Gun policy.  I don't really care if you think we need them or should ban them all - we have to all understand what we have right now is not working.  So let's all be open to finding out what will work, getting research and facts around that and then committing to something that works.  
2. Educate: Everyone is an expert.  Everyone has facts.  Realistically, we are all probably mostly wrong or relying on the wrong sources.  Educate yourself.  Find legitimate sources for your news and facts.  To be very clear, there is no doubt Fox News is incredibly bias so lets all stop kidding ourselves there.  Understand where studies are funded when you quote their facts.
3. Equality: At the end of the day, everyone is deserving of equality so if that's not something you're willing to accept or engage with, you've got to understand we are leaving you behind in this discussion.  If you accept racism, sexism, hate, bigotry as existing in your world - if you refuse to acknowledge we have a problem with privilege and racism - we have to drop you off here because the future deserve better.

I see a lot of people in the world engaging with other people in the ugliest way.  I've been accused of being hateful and not open to other opinions myself - and while that's extremely misguided (and often from the people who don't understand racism or privilege) - I think it would be ignorant of me not to pause and review what I say when that does occur.  Not one of us is perfect, and we all have moments that we get too heated.  So if you have the opportunity to reflect and improve - do so - if only to help produce a more efficient future.  And ultimately, if you find yourself engaging with someone who truly isn't open to change - its important for your sanity - and for the sake of productivity - to simply wish them well and remove them from your world.  There's enough well meaning people out there - on both "sides" that we can create a better future for ourselves and generations to come.

2018

Happy New Year Sequins!

I have no idea what just happened to 2017 because I swear to God I just moved to Texas 20 minutes ago, but here we are, January 1, 2018.  Holy shit.

I'm sitting here trying to reflect on 2017 and I honestly just have a lot of memories on an airplane watching Girl's Trip 32 times laughing obnoxiously while Carol from Iowa shot me dirty looks from peasant class.  STFU Carol, let me live my first class life.

2017 brought me to yet a new state.  It brought me a whole new career in a whole new industry I honestly knew nothing about.  For the first 6 months, I mostly got by on charm and pure grit.  The second 6 months I've questioned myself, my skillset, and everything about what I know.  And at the end of every day, I have reminded myself I didn't get here without earning every moment.

2017 brought me the strength to commit to my mental health.  It got me into therapy, into actually trying to tell my anxiety to step TF off, and it's challenged me to chill out.

2017 has brought me a body I'm in love with more than I have been since being 98 pounds and growing boobs.  Because of my discovery of new ways to workout that don't bring me pain, I am physically stronger, healthier, and happier.  And I'm surely not 98 pounds.  Still got those boobs though.

2017 has brought me new people.  Who knew a liberal agnostic loud crude (but really pretty) California girl could find one of her closest friends in a Christian big hearted Texan (Be cool guys - she was born in California and her family is just the bees knees). 

2017 has brought me closer to me.  It's challenged me to face things I frankly don't like thinking about and forced me to feel things I'm not fond of feeling.  Because of that - it's given me confidence in this sparkly yet out of her mind woman I've become.  It's also taught me when to face my flaws, apologize when I need to - and move TF on when I don't.

2017 I don't really know if you even happened because I swear it's still January and I just got to Texas, it was snowing and I couldn't by alcohol before Noon on Sunday.  But here we are - 2018 and I'm itching to see where it takes me.  All I know is don't miss me with that First Class ticket.