Proud Mama

While living in Texas, I met a woman who who would change my life. She has become one of my closest friends and I consider both her and her family, my extended family. They became people that I knew I could turn to in Texas and I’d have a home to go to, which is really important to me. Texas never felt like my home but these people did.

I grew up in California and while my family I would say is more middle of the road in their belief system, Californians by nature are generally more left than right.

My Texas family definitely leans a lot more Republican in every sense of the system. They’re right of the middle.

And yet our differences are the perfect example of how to exist in a happy place of having different political beliefs but agreeing on a lot of the important social issues. More importantly, these are people that I know I can have respectful open discussion with and truly learn from each other.

Before I left Texas, my friend and I made a deal - I would go to her church with her if she promised to vote in 2020. Little did I know, she would begin a journey of committing herself to becoming more informed, educated and aware of the world around her in a way I had never planned on.

I want to make it clear, it is never my goal to change anyone. I think it’s important to have open dialogue in a supportive environment without judgment, but ultimately with the goal of informing, not changing. I don’t have everything figured out, I’ll never pretend to, but I want to share my experiences and views to encourage others to think differently.

That’s what she has done. She is the perfect example of staying committed to her deep faith but understanding that her faith doesn’t give her the right to control others or push that belief on others. She speaks passionately and is an incredible example of her Christian faith without being pushy. I greatly respect her ability to commit to her religion on this journey while expanding her horizons in the political and social space.

Abortion is generally frowned upon in Texas and in Christian religion. She is not a proponent of abortion and never will be. But she has recently come to understand that just because she would not choose that for herself, does not mean she has the right to tell someone else what to do with their own body. And I could cry.

I am a proud mama because she made that decision for herself. She researched, she talked to people, and she said this is what I believe and what works for me but I want to respect other humans in this world.

At work, she’s figuring out ways to be inclusive. Out of work, she’s reaching out to ask my opinion on current events and to clarify things she doesn’t understand. I don’t know the answer every time, but having her trust me enough on this journey means the world.

I write all of this to say, be more like my friend. No matter what “side” you are on, or what your belief system is, we could all stand to be more open to discussion, committed to educating ourselves, and care enough to put ourselves in the shoes of others. She is everything this world needs right now and inspires me to continue to challenge myself to think differently.

Feminism

fem·i·nism

[ˈfeməˌnizəm]

NOUN

1. the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

Today, I want to refresh what feminism means and why I'm a feminist.  While we've definitely made 2017 the year of the woman - I think in all of the happenings in the world - some people have either forgotten what feminism means and what true feminists are fighting for or they’ve turned feminism into villanism. 

Feminism is not a dirty word.  Feminism is powerfully positive.  

Feminism is (amongst many other things):

1. The belief in equality of the sexes
2. A fight to bring women's interests and rights to the forefront of politics
3. A social rights movement
4. Bringing education about women's interests and rights to the public eye
5. Encouraging women to stand up for themselves and their beliefs - even when we do not agree on the same beliefs

Feminism is not (among many other things):

1. Women who hate men
2. Women attempting to take away rights of men (unless they infringe upon equality)
3. Emasculating men
4. Only for Democrats
5. Only about reproductive rights

Feminism is believing women should have the same rights in this country as men do.  And it's believing women have a voice that is just as important as any man's.  And real feminists believe that while we may not all agree with each other, we will fight for your right to believe in those values (unless they direct hate or inequality to others).  

I am a feminist because I believe in myself.  I am a feminist because I believe in other women.  I am a feminist because I first and foremost value equality over hate, ignorance, and creating laws that exclude others based upon gender, sexuality, or race. 

I believe I should be paid the same as men.  I believe I should make choices about my body without interference from others.  I believe my voice is just as powerful as any man's.  I believe I am worthy of as much respect as any man.  I believe I am more than what I look like. 

I am a feminist and I believe in equality.

Before you bash feminism, call feminists "feminazis" or refer to the movement as exclusive, angry, or for women only - educate yourself.  Do the research, talk to women who are fighting for what feminism actually stands for.  The world would be a whole lot better if we were all feminists.

Politically Correct

2016 is the year of the political expert.  Every other post on Facebook is a political opinion from someone who decided its cool to be involved and thus has to voice their opinion to the masses to keep up.  And we should be politically involved.  But its more important to be politically informed.  There's a lot of what I'm calling the parrot effect going on.  Someone sees or hears something and repeats it with no educational research behind it.  And that's where we get the most dangerous voter out there - the uninformed, do what's popular voter.  The person who has no idea the implications of their vote or the responsibility associated.  I dare to guess a good 50% of these parrots are probably not even registered to vote.

Between the social injustices, political abuse, gun violence, and abuse of power in America right now - 2016 is a critical voting year.  We are also in a Presidential year with two candidates who in my opinion really showcase the dangerous time we are in as a country.  The ramifications from voting in 2016 are huge.  Who we choose to lead us, how we vote on issues big and small is going to shape us for the next decade. 

Now this isn't about how to vote, I'm not going to begin to share my views politically or even open up a discussion on political opinions.  The most important political view I have is to be informed.  Do your research.  I don't care if you're voting on a water tax for your small hometown or on the President of the United States - be equally as aware of what that vote means.  Do not cast one vote without having made an informed decision as to what that vote means to the world around you. 

In a month, in a year, whenever politics become just another part of life and not at the forefront of our minds - I don't want to be living in a world that was decided because it was cool to talk about. 

Now I also want to address another dangerous voter out there - the close minded loud mouth.  This is the person who yells the loudest and has the strongest opinion.  The person who during a political discussion isn't listening - they're waiting for their opportunity to disagree with you - loudly.  How are we ever going to get along, to effect change if we live in a world full of people who aren't open to other opinions?  In a world of billions - you've got an equal number of different life experiences thus billions of different views.  Life experiences shape us and determine our political and social opinions.  It's reasonable to expect that even the most open minded person is still going to have some part of them that sticks to their opinions based on life experience.  However - if we continue to shout arguments at each other and not truly listen to what another person has to say - there will be no change.  And while we will continue to inherently disagree on a lot of issues - we can agree to disagree and determine a course of action that's respectful to both sides.  We've done it before, its not easy, its ugly, it takes time, but it is possible. 

Here's the takeaway for today:

1. Get informed: You're not an expert. Do your research, talk to experts, talk to those that will be most affected - become educated.
2. Open your mind: Stand fiercely behind your values and opinions but keep a piece of your mind open to truly listen to other opinions.  Engage in discussion with people who come from different backgrounds and experiences, do not be afraid to ask questions.  
3. VOTE

I love America for all that it stands for because even our ugliest qualities are things we can change because we have the right to talk about them freely.  Are we the best we could possibly be?  Not even close.  But you have the opportunity to be part of the change, don't ever take that for granted.  Don't ever think your voice and your vote don't count.