Really Put Together People vs. Me

Thanks to social media, it is now easier than ever to see people looking really put together while you're just trying to get to work on time without spilling coffee on your white shirt.  You know who I'm talking about - the girl who's on the beach laughing in some candid shot; hair perfectly blowing in the wind just living the dream.  The people who post pictures of their Pinterest crafts and they actually turn out like the photo.  I am not one of these people. 

I consistently spill things on my outfit, am wearing my shirt backwards, and most certainly all candid shots of me are not attractive.  Case in point - my girlfriends and I took jumping shots on the beach in Malibu a few months back.  They all look adorable.  My hair is whipped across my face and I look like I'm going to fall and break an ankle at any moment.

No matter how hard I try - I am simply doomed to be one of those people that you wonder how they make it through a day.  So I'd like to do make a list - because God I love lists - detailing things that have actually happened to me, because being really put together is really overrated. 

• I once got a concussion at work from falling out of my chair, rolling down some stairs, and hitting my head on a wall.
• The Los Angeles City Fire Department paused to laugh at me standing in the street in my underwear BEFORE running upstairs to stop the fire I set in my microwave.
• While trying to hang up a poster I staple gunned my finger to a wall.
• Went to work once wearing two different shoes.
• In Colorado it was really cold.  I wore extra thick polar bear socks under my slacks at work.  When I crossed my legs in a big meeting, it was extremely easy to see my non business like socks.
• In college I had to make up the timed mile for Fall training (I ran track in college) bright and early one morning.  I ate yogurt about 30 minutes before I ran.  I finished with a 6 minute mile - and then proceeded to throw up in front of the entire football team who was also practicing at that time.
• I've gone places with mascara only on one eye, more than once.
• I got on a flight to Houston once.  I meant to go to Sacramento. 
•  In one day I backed into a dumpster and a pole at Trader Joe's.  Literally within hours of each other. 
• For an entire day I wore a work blouse inside out.  Didn't realize this until I got home that evening.
• During an autograph session with an athlete I was working with, basketballs started rolling off the table - at which point I said "Come on...Your balls are everywhere!"  Didn't realize anything was weird about this statement for 10 minutes.  
• My first day of work at a new job my boss told me we were going to a meeting.  It was cold and snowing and I said "Should I wear my clothes?" ...instead of should I bring my coat? 
• I bought a fun work appropriate red lipstick that I wore ....it was on my teeth for half the day.
• When I hung up with the head coach of the team I was working for I said "ok love you bye" because I'm so used to saying it to friends and family.  I didn't even realize I said it until he made a joke about it the following day. 
• During an event I was updating the SVP about details of setup when I realized somehow this really expensive giant glitter sign (duh) had been glued to the floor.  I screamed into the phone "GLITTER EMERGENCY" and hung up.  Surprisingly he understood and had no further questions.  
• Went to the gym with a hole in my yoga pants. Didn't understand why all the men were really into me that day until I got home and saw where the hole was located.  Should have charged a fee.  
• In high school I was convinced I could dye my hair blond myself.  I have red understones.  My hair was pink for two weeks because we went on vacation the following day. 

Needless to say - I believe I've proven my point.   I am not effortlessly put together.  I am consistently in awe when I make it through the day looking like the sparkling bombshell that I am.  And yet I am surprisingly incredible at what I do for a living (and proud of it).  People pay me to be really put together and make flawless magic happen.  And I always do. 

Talk to me about your stories.  Are you one of those really put together people that I'm jealous of (Dove I'm looking at you!)? Tell me your secrets.  Because I'm convinced they pull you all aside and teach you special secrets when you're born and the rest of us are me.

Socially Active

Between Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, snapchat, and about 1,000 other social media venues, people are more connected than they've ever been before.  And at the same time, they're less connected than they'll ever be.  Kids are being raised to be more social media savy than I will ever be and yet they're more socially awkward than one thought possible.  While I'm all for technology and the connections social media can create, I miss phone calls, handwritten cards, face to face interactions, and times when it wasn't possible to get ahold of someone.  We are creating intelligent and advanced individuals - who can't even carry on a conversation with another human being without getting uncomfortable or holding an iPhone in their hand.  

I'm just as guilty of being too tech reliant as the next person, I've had a cell phone since I was 10 and currently own a laptop that turns into a tablet as well as an ipad.  But I've also been taught the power of being able to sit down and connect with someone face to face.  I've been taught to smile at strangers, say hello to people I make eye contact with, and to take a real interest in what people are saying to me, without my cell phone at my fingertips. And you know what people think about that?  They think I'm weird.  I get told it's odd how "friendly" I am.  And that really puts things in perspective in my eyes.  We've gotten to a place where it's ok to send nudes, but you can't wave at someone you walk by on the streets?  Should I tweet my twat out instead of having a conversation with my friend about life?  Is that more customary?  Because it's sure as hell more common.  

I've worked with kids a lot in my career, kids ages 18-23.  It constantly surprises me to work with these students (not all are this way of course) who can literally do anything on the computer, cell phone, iPad, you name it, but when I ask them to make a phone call or interact with a client, they're at a loss for words. They're straight A students, part of this club or President of that society, but they absolutely struggle when it comes to being able to sit down, relate to and spark up a conversation with a stranger.  And that scares me.   It scares me to be looking towards a future where everyone relies on technology instead of face to face interactions.  Do you know how many misunderstandings happen a day over social media?  And about 99% of those would never happen if people just talked to each other.  

I love my Iphone, my iPad, my laptop, and my social media circles, but my point is, I value my skills with conversation more.  I value talking to my Mom every morning before work, and the post cards my Grandma sends me to check in.  I love the Sundays I spend sitting on my ass watching football with my friends and yelling at the tv.  And I live for the family BBQ's spent playing dominos and laughing with each other.  I hope that one day when I have kids, I'm able to teach them to be both tech savy and people savy.  I want them to be able to have the confidence to speak to anyone they may meet without being incredibly awkward and yet still know how to enjoy whatever social media may be the latest when they're out there in the world.  I want there to be requirements for jobs where people have to be socially intelligent as well as social media savy.  I want to exist in a place where folks take the time to say hello and SMILE instead of looking at their phones all the time.  And I want that to be the norm.  See it as a challenge, get out there, and be a better person, be someone who is weird for being friendly.  And enjoy the stories of strangers.  They're better and more real than anything you'll ever read on the internet.  Most importantly, take the time to get to know the most important people in your life, because while you're texting, tweeting, and FB messaging them, you're missing out on time you could be spending WITH them.  And in the end, it's not about how make likes you got, who thinks you look hot on Instagram, or who is following you on Twitter, when you're at the very end of it all, it's those people who will be by your side.