Deflect the Reflect

I am a highly reflective individual. I am constantly looking at my past, present, and future and wondering if I made/make the right decision and where to go from here.

The thing is, sometimes you need to deflect the reflect and simply make a decision.

When you constantly spend time and energy to reflect on the past, you often miss out on the present and disrupt the magic of the future.

I'm incredibly type A. I plan everything. I am constantly researching and looking to make the most informed decision. I often think of choices and black and white, right and wrong.

In life, things are most often shades of grey. The lines are most often blurred. It's less about right and wrong and more defined by simply being different. So while you can make what you believe is the right decision, in all reality, it's really just a decision that leads to one possible outcome.

I'm not saying don't reflect on past choices or situations. I'm saying take them with a grain of salt. Do not let them define your present or prevent you from experiencing your best future.

When you reflect on your past, you often imagine it in a very different way than it actually happened. We tend to romanticize, form regret, or even judge ourselves too harshly because of current circumstances. We give the person who broke our heart too much leeway. We blame ourselves for bad things that happened. We regret something we said or did. Realistically, these things are a reflection of how we feel in our present situation.

Something I've been working on is understanding my present. Being really aware of who I am, how I feel, and the relationships I'm currently existing in. And then I'll look to what I want those things to look like moving forward.

Appreciate your past, learn from it, but understand that person and those situations no longer exist. In order to maximize growth and choose paths that best serve you, be present. Develop on the person you are now and who you want to be in the future. It's like having a vision board inside your mind that you're able to adjust based on what's happening in real time.

Deflect the constant need to reflect on your past. You're not going there. You won't be that person again. There's a reason you are who you are and where you are right now. If you want to move forward as the happiest version of you, you're going to have to deflect the reflect and accept the now.

The Business of Events

I've been in the business of events for awhile now.  And a lot of people think that all I do is pick out flowers and choose linens.  While I do those things - I also have a strategy behind every decision and detail at each event.  More recently my job entails big brands and more marketing than traditional hospitality events.  But the basics behind event planning remain the same.

Events are the face of your company.  They are how people directly engage with your brand and become familiar with your products.  Events are a big part of business, and treating them as any less, is a big mistake for your brand. 

When planning events, there's a basic outline for ensuring success.

Have a Goal

The first thing I want to know when I'm tasked with an event is what's the goal.  Is it financial?  Is it a feeling?  Are we tracking impressions?  There needs to be a clear goal that leads each and every decision moving forward.  Everyone involved needs to understand that goal and be able to tie every event detail back to that overarching goal.  Without a goal, you're having an event for the sake of having an event - in which case, just throw a bunch of money in the trash and call it even.

Know Your Brand

What does your brand stand for?  What are the colors, feelings, sounds, vibes - what represents that brand?  Every décor choice, entertainment decision, menu plan - all of that works together to create a representation of your brand. The things people see, hear, taste, and feel will all remind them of your brand.  If you've got a fun brand, make the event fun.  If your brand thrives on more serious engagement - don't bring in a comedian.  Stick with your brand messaging and get innovative in how you showcase what that means.

Invest in the Details

The details are what matter.  Don't phone in the color choices, the food, the music.  Every single detail comes together to create the total package.  When you get sloppy, neglect something small - someone will notice.  And that reflects back onto the brand.  Be obsessively detailed.  Annoyingly so.  There are enough uncontrollable pieces that go wrong at every event.  If you are obsessive over what you can control, you're better equipped to handle the things you can't control.

Be Budget Conscious

Budget is everything.  Be diligent about sticking to your budget.  And be knowledgeable about what a realistic budget is for what you want to achieve.  It's unrealistic to expect to wow the attendees on a peanuts budget.  But even with a limitless budget - focus on spending wisely.  Even if your bottom line goal isn't financial, its just plain stupid to spend when you don't need to.

Recap

For every single event you need to do a post event recap.  I don't care if it's lunch for five executives or a ball for 5,000.  Recap what you did, what worked, what didn't.  Get feedback from everyone.  Talk to guests, staff, vendors, everyone.  Be diligent in getting this done.  Do not wait.  How can you possibly improve if you don't have explicit details about what you've done in the past? 

Events are anything but simply picking out décor and tasting menus.  Events are an opportunity to create a feeling to your consumers.  Make sure you're understanding the importance of events and the potential they have for consumer loyalty. 

Really Put Together People vs. Me

Thanks to social media, it is now easier than ever to see people looking really put together while you're just trying to get to work on time without spilling coffee on your white shirt.  You know who I'm talking about - the girl who's on the beach laughing in some candid shot; hair perfectly blowing in the wind just living the dream.  The people who post pictures of their Pinterest crafts and they actually turn out like the photo.  I am not one of these people. 

I consistently spill things on my outfit, am wearing my shirt backwards, and most certainly all candid shots of me are not attractive.  Case in point - my girlfriends and I took jumping shots on the beach in Malibu a few months back.  They all look adorable.  My hair is whipped across my face and I look like I'm going to fall and break an ankle at any moment.

No matter how hard I try - I am simply doomed to be one of those people that you wonder how they make it through a day.  So I'd like to do make a list - because God I love lists - detailing things that have actually happened to me, because being really put together is really overrated. 

• I once got a concussion at work from falling out of my chair, rolling down some stairs, and hitting my head on a wall.
• The Los Angeles City Fire Department paused to laugh at me standing in the street in my underwear BEFORE running upstairs to stop the fire I set in my microwave.
• While trying to hang up a poster I staple gunned my finger to a wall.
• Went to work once wearing two different shoes.
• In Colorado it was really cold.  I wore extra thick polar bear socks under my slacks at work.  When I crossed my legs in a big meeting, it was extremely easy to see my non business like socks.
• In college I had to make up the timed mile for Fall training (I ran track in college) bright and early one morning.  I ate yogurt about 30 minutes before I ran.  I finished with a 6 minute mile - and then proceeded to throw up in front of the entire football team who was also practicing at that time.
• I've gone places with mascara only on one eye, more than once.
• I got on a flight to Houston once.  I meant to go to Sacramento. 
•  In one day I backed into a dumpster and a pole at Trader Joe's.  Literally within hours of each other. 
• For an entire day I wore a work blouse inside out.  Didn't realize this until I got home that evening.
• During an autograph session with an athlete I was working with, basketballs started rolling off the table - at which point I said "Come on...Your balls are everywhere!"  Didn't realize anything was weird about this statement for 10 minutes.  
• My first day of work at a new job my boss told me we were going to a meeting.  It was cold and snowing and I said "Should I wear my clothes?" ...instead of should I bring my coat? 
• I bought a fun work appropriate red lipstick that I wore ....it was on my teeth for half the day.
• When I hung up with the head coach of the team I was working for I said "ok love you bye" because I'm so used to saying it to friends and family.  I didn't even realize I said it until he made a joke about it the following day. 
• During an event I was updating the SVP about details of setup when I realized somehow this really expensive giant glitter sign (duh) had been glued to the floor.  I screamed into the phone "GLITTER EMERGENCY" and hung up.  Surprisingly he understood and had no further questions.  
• Went to the gym with a hole in my yoga pants. Didn't understand why all the men were really into me that day until I got home and saw where the hole was located.  Should have charged a fee.  
• In high school I was convinced I could dye my hair blond myself.  I have red understones.  My hair was pink for two weeks because we went on vacation the following day. 

Needless to say - I believe I've proven my point.   I am not effortlessly put together.  I am consistently in awe when I make it through the day looking like the sparkling bombshell that I am.  And yet I am surprisingly incredible at what I do for a living (and proud of it).  People pay me to be really put together and make flawless magic happen.  And I always do. 

Talk to me about your stories.  Are you one of those really put together people that I'm jealous of (Dove I'm looking at you!)? Tell me your secrets.  Because I'm convinced they pull you all aside and teach you special secrets when you're born and the rest of us are me.

A Plan for the Plan

I am Type A.  I am a control freak.  I'll make a list with an item on it that includes a plan to make another list.  I don't just have a plan B, I've got a plan A-Z prepared with addendums for each.  This is all wonderful for my career as an event planner but in life, its the biggest burden.

Since I can remember I've had a plan for my life.  I was going to go to a D1 school, run track, graduate in 4 years, attend law school, be married at 22, kids by 25.  I was going to be a sports agent.  Married to an athlete.  The problem with life is that it rarely follows your plan.  And I'm so very thankful for that.   

I did go to college, I ran D1 track and I graduated in four.  But that was the only part of the plan I checked off.  In between those four years I endured injuries and illnesses that kept me from competing, let alone at a level that contributed to my team's successes (Shoutout to my Aggies!).  I experienced violence, loss, silent struggles - and they changed who I am.  I began to see how little I could actually plan for.  Life showed me the only thing I can plan for is how to adapt.  So I graduated - and I learned something - I'm a lot different than I was when I made that plan.  I didn't want to go to law school, didn't want to be a sports agent.  I was nowhere near wanting to be married or thinking about kids.  I was 21 and I wanted to make a new plan.  And since then - my plan has evolved, I've evolved, and I've learned to let go of the plan a little bit more with each adventure.

Fast forward, I'm 30.  I'm not in a serious relationship, I'm not having kids, and I'm in the middle of a huge risk in my career path.  I'm the opposite of the plan.  And that's both really scary and really exciting.  At 21 I was unsure of myself, of my career path, and had no business thinking about marriage.  So at 30 its great to be in a place that I like where I'm at, where I'm headed, and most importantly, I really like myself.  

So ladies (and gents), I applaud you if you are 21, married, and happy.  I applaud you if you're 42, single, and happy.  I applaud you if you're 22 and in your dream job and I applaud you if you're 65 and going back to school. The point of it all, is be happy.  Don't plan so much.  Enjoy the twists in your plot.  I'm still going to make plans and lists - but I'll be more okay when I have to abandon those plans for the next adventure.  Because as much and I'm terrified of the unknown - I'm equally as excited to go on my next journey, wherever that may be.