In a previous role, I experienced quite a bit of harassment. It was an old boys club through and through. Led by the most insecure and unprofessional manager I have ever had. I lasted about a year and a half before I finally spoke up and confided in another man in the company what I had been experiencing outside of the normal “bad boss” situations.
And you know what happened? He went directly to that manager and the next day, I was called in and they let me go. Sure - they knew they were in the wrong, so money was exchanged as a “severance” of sorts, but realistically, we all knew what it was.
Unfortunately - I think this is a commonplace in many industries. The behavior or men and the way women are treated is often excused. Women are told we are manufacturing these situations, overreacting, or blatantly lying. And I think even worse than the men who commit these acts are the men who watch it happen and say nothing.
I lost all respect for the man who had an opportunity to help right a wrong and instead chose to participate in making it worse. He is part of the problem.
More and more we talk about a see something say something mentality. I don’t think we are there yet. I’d love to believe we are, but I just don’t see enough men stepping up to say woah, this is wrong. And so the cycle continues. Especially in industries dominated by men.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat in a room as the only woman and listened to men make inappropriate comments, gestures - and not one other man said anything.
You would think in today’s world, men would start to stand up. Especially because there are so many good men out there who believe in equality.
I watched the Dallas Mavericks allegations unfold and it gave me hope. The women who came forward are so brave. I wish I had done the same, but I didn’t.
Seeing more and more people take a stand against inequality and harassment in the workplace gives me so much hope for future generations. It’s exhausting to be a woman at work. We are paid less, hold less executive positions, and often receive less respect in general. Anything that we can do to start to say (and show) this won’t fly - we should be doing those things.
In my own way — when I’m working with vendors, I try to make sure I’m doing so with companies that are ethical. If I see a post on LinkedIn from a vendor that conveys a poor image or represents ignorance, I’ll make a mental note not to work with them. Because ethics in business matter to me.
At the end of the day you shouldn’t have two different identities - work and play. If you’re a sexist bigot at work, that’s who you are in life. The man who chose to handle my situation the way he did, he’s not a good person. You don’t get to excuse who you are at work as “just business.”
I believe women make up 51-53% of the population right now — so the more we speak up, the more you should too. If only to understand, there are more of us and we are angry. We won’t be silenced. Who run this?
Girls.